Today is our twelfth wedding anniversery

[Danhalen]

Congrats to us! Anyway, we were very young when we were married (only 20), and we felt pressured to get married in my parent's church in order to please them. Well, now we are mature enough to want to please ourselves, and we were thinking of renewing our vows. We've always loved the national park nearby, and have thought of having a secular vow renewel out there. I was just wondering if anyone here has any information or ideas on how to hold such a ceremony in a way that would reflect our secular leanings.

[The Reformer]

Both of you deconverted?


Btw, congrats!

[smellincoffee]

Congratulations! One of my first posts here was about secular weddings.

http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?t=180557

[Danhalen]

Both of you deconverted?Not really. I never had a proper, or formal, belief in anything. I would say the same is true for her (although she was raised Catholic). I'd say we can most accurately be described as agnostics who have both become strong atheists in the last six years.

Btw, congrats!Thank you.

[Danhalen]

Congratulations! One of my first posts here was about secular weddings.

http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?t=180557Thanks for the link. That's got some great information we can adapt for our own purposes. Thank you very much.

[SweetReason]

You're calling it a renewal of vows -- what would you like to promise each other? This could be a great discussion, now that you've experienced married life. My husband & I prmised to "help each other grow" -- after 29 yrs, we're still keeping thatone! :)

[Danhalen]

You're calling it a renewal of vows -- what would you like to promise each other?Excellent question. The most important part would be to reaffirm that which we want to continue doing right, and to begin to affirm that which could make us better.

This could be a great discussion, now that you've experienced married life.It is going to be a great discussion between my wife and me. I also think it can be a great topic for other secular couples to share on this board. Perhaps we can all learn from each other how each of us makes our individual marriages work, and make our own better.

My husband & I prmised to "help each other grow" -- after 29 yrs, we're still keeping thatone! :)That is so awesome. Twentynine years and still in love. I can picture it, and I hope to reach the same milestone. Congratulations to you and yours. May there be another twentynine years in your future.

[Cat59]

Congrats to you and your wife Dan.
Over here the British Humanist Society has celebrants who conduct weddings, I guess they'd probably do renewal of vows too. I like the idea about thinking about what makes your marriage work too, might be handy for me to do as well...
Hope you had a good day.
Cat

[garrisonjj]

Many congrats! After 18 years of pretending to love god,we are now self discovered atheists! What a jot to dump the bullshit that religion is and receive support from your wife! Good luck.

[SweetReason]

Hmmm... when I look at that title, I think, "constant process" ;)
Thanks, & I hope you'll tell us all ehat you work out


Excellent question. The most important part would be to reaffirm that which we want to continue doing right, and to begin to affirm that which could make us better.

It is going to be a great discussion between my wife and me. I also think it can be a great topic for other secular couples to share on this board. Perhaps we can all learn from each other how each of us makes our individual marriages work, and make our own better.

That is so awesome. Twentynine years and still in love. I can picture it, and I hope to reach the same milestone. Congratulations to you and yours. May there be another twentynine years in your future.

[Jennie]

Congratulations!

[Richard1366]

My daughter recently got married in a secular ceremony in Northern Virginia and conducted by a member of this board. I wrote the ceremony and everyone thought it was really great. My wife and I have been married for almost 47 years and my feelings towards her are best expressed by the French saying "I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow."

Good Luck...

[loprogression]

I have no suggestions on the ceremony. I just want to say congrats! Thanks for showing the world that some people can get married young and actually stay together.

[phrog]

Ah, newlyweds. Come back and talk to me when you hit the 35 year mark.
But congrats, I s'pose it means it just might work out? We too broke the stats of teenage weddings. Still crazy after all these years.