Hiding Your Atheism? {Moved from MD}

[Christina Mirabilis]

Something that has surprised me since I started reading this site is how many people sound as though they would face severe social consequences if their atheism were known in their community. I live in one of the most liberal places in the nation, and I think that I could find more people willing to admit to believing in fairies or crystals than in Jesus. It’s never even occurred to me to worry about what other people would think about my lack of faith. The only time I’ve kept it to myself is when fundraising for nonprofits with local faith-based groups (yeah I know it’s hypocritical, but they kick down for homeless services.) Our pro-life protesters generally consist of one little old lady and a few teenagers. Operation Rescue even had to bring in recruits from out of town to protest Planned Parenthood.

What is it like in more conservative parts of the country? Is your atheism something that you really have to hide? I’m curious also about other parts of California. I’ve seen a few locations on profiles like San Jose, Silicon Valley or the Central Coast – is it any less tolerant there than in Santa Cruz?

[DaninGraniteCity]

I'm in the middle of the midwest and I'm not worried about sharing my atheism at all. I guess I just struck it lucky.

[Ultimate Atheist]

I live in Birmingham Alabama. When I was younger I was open about it because there were no consequences. I didn't care what my friends thought and I actually converted a few of them.

Now that I'm older I feel I can't be as open about it. If I was open about it at work, life at work would become more stressful if I was even able to keep my job. If I'm open about it in my neighborhood I would probably be shunned if not attacked. I've had cars keyed just for having a Darwin fish on them. I don't put Darwin fish on my car anymore.

We just moved into a new house and we love it. We love the neighborhood. The only thing that has bothered us is that every time we meet another neighbor one of the first things they ask us is where we go to church. Everytime I hear that question my heart rate goes up. I've met neighbors that I really really liked and they just keep pushing the issue.

In the beginning I would just tell them that I don't go to church. Then they would hound me everytime I took the dog for a walk. Now I just tell them that we go to our old church on the other side of town. I hate lying about it but I hate them begging me to go to their church even more. I would be honest about it but considering how church-crazy they are I know they would actively start trying to convert me. I just want to be left alone.

On top of the problems with the neighborhood I also have to tolerate my kids being indoctrinated at school. Luckily they're both old enough and independent enough that they don't believe everything their teachers say. My son has even gone out of his way to prove his teacher wrong when she says something wrong about science or history. So I think he'll be alright but it still pisses me off when the kids bring home Bibles that their teacher gave them. Don't these people have anything better to do than spread their damn fairy tales.

Sorry to rant like that. It just pisses me off. I've been reading Richard Dawkin's book, The God Delusion and I think its making me more militant like I was in my teens and early twenties. As I flip through the book I'll read ideas that I remember having in the past. Its nice to see that there is someone else out there with the same "crazy" ideas about the world and how things really work.

[Matty]

Something that has surprised me since I started reading this site is how many people sound as though they would face severe social consequences if their atheism were known in their community. I live in one of the most liberal places in the nation, and I think that I could find more people willing to admit to believing in fairies or crystals than in Jesus. It’s never even occurred to me to worry about what other people would think about my lack of faith. The only time I’ve kept it to myself is when fundraising for nonprofits with local faith-based groups (yeah I know it’s hypocritical, but they kick down for homeless services.) Our pro-life protesters generally consist of one little old lady and a few teenagers. Operation Rescue even had to bring in recruits from out of town to protest Planned Parenthood.

What is it like in more conservative parts of the country? Is your atheism something that you really have to hide? I’m curious also about other parts of California. I’ve seen a few locations on profiles like San Jose, Silicon Valley or the Central Coast – is it any less tolerant there than in Santa Cruz?
Such things seem limited to a few of the idiot states to me. Growing up in the UK it is certainly not an issue. You'd probably get more kudos for being an atheist than god squad (and rightly so of course!). For example it was only in the last couple of years since being this side of the pond, that i met my first fundy (and had my first live circular "discussion" with one)

I was particularly lucky, my family is pretty much all indifferent or critical of religion. The only reason i was christened was apparently to keep my great gran from bitching. When a similar thing arose with our little'un, (the MIL was a "disappointed" we weren't getting him Xtianed, mainly out of traditional pascals than any big religious ideal) , my 90 odd year old gran was the one to tell me that "Its your decision, you don't have to listen to any of their silly ideas if you don't want to. Its all nonsense anyway"

Yup, i come from a good atheist bloodline alright.

As an adult, i am very open about my atheism and disdain for religion. I work in a scientific academic environment though, so sceptical thinking and analysis is very much more the norm than fundyism. Plus Canada, at last this bit of Ontario doesn't seem to have the fundyism inherent to bits of the states.

About the only person I've ever had any neg feedback from about my attitude and beliefs it is my wife, who feels that I'm a little too critical of and disrespectful of peoples beliefs (hmm, understatement of the week right there) . Something i completely agree with and have no intent of changing, i certaily AM critical of such bullshit, always have been and always will be. It just happens that having posted here for a year or two, I'm now better informed and articulate in my anti religious arguments, and consequently like to use them to devastating effect whenever possible. .

I don't think asking her mum for the new Dawkins book for my birthday did much to dispel the impression either. :D

[Lance Uppercut]

I'm don't hide my atheism, but I've never needed to profess it either. In New England it is considered almost histrionic to wear your religious beliefs (or lack thereof) on your sleeve. Religious views are personal and tend to stay that way around here.

[Christina Mirabilis]

LOL you're as impatient as I am :) (Hitting stop, then enter again only makes it worse...)

[Underseer]

When I lived in the South, I hid my atheism as people were openly hostile to non-Christians of any sort, although neither did I profess any sort of Christian belief. I didn't quite go all the way to crypto-atheism.

[Viti]

I live in Southern Alabama after moving here from Las Vegas about 18 mos ago. I have not experienced any of the issues with the community that my Alabama neighbors to the North have relayed. Not one of my neighbors has asked anything about our religious beliefs or church affiliation in a judgemental way (though I have had religious discussions with my neighbor and closest friend here, but she is New Age), and none of them seem to go either. On Sunday mornings most everyone is likely to be fishing or boating.

Maybe because we are a resort area? Maybe because not many people here are natives? Not sure why we are different, but we are.

[flashbaby]

One of the great things about living in England is that no one gives a shit what religion you are. When I lived in Glasgow people only cared if you were a prod or a catholic and if you said atheist the would ask if you were i prod or catholic one.

you also got asked as a kid if you were a Billy or a Dan or an old tin can and you either had to risk a bad beating if you said the wrong one of Billy or Dan or accept a minor one for being an old tin can

isn't religion wonderful?

[Trout]

I have never hidden it. It's almost a duty not to for me although I don't bring it up much unless asked. Then it's whole hog.

As for places, there's a big difference. Canada for me has never been a big deal. It seems to have lot of athiests and most of the churchies consider it a private matter rather than dinner conversation.

Places in New England and even NY were much the same although less so with the public/private divide.

Florida....nuts. The "which church" question was asked sometimes at initial meetings and even in the work place! It was: name, marital status, education, job (if not known) and church in that order again and again. Even went to corporate functions that were held in church facilities because of bosses, etc that also came complete with flippin clergy.

[Revolutionary]

I live in the Bible Belt. There are churches on every corner. Many cars have Jesus fish on their cars, even some eating Darwin fish. The city government paid for a "Day of Faith" despite legal challenges. People here tend to think that atheists are evil, immoral, selfish people who hate God. You don't just say you're atheist unless you're looking for trouble. People take atheism as a personal insult.

With that said, it's not quite as bad as it sounds. Younger people are much more likely to be understanding about disbelief. All of my friends at the improv theater know that I'm an atheist. (Comedic actors aren't known for being especially reverent.) I don't lie about my atheism, but I am careful about it at work because I would rather not have anything affect my career. I don't mention it in class to my students because I don't want that to affect the course. They come from many different religious backgrounds and I just tend to avoid the topic unless they specifically ask to talk about it. Dealing with prosletyzing from native speakers who share same culture is hard enough.

[skepticalbip]

Maybe because we are a resort area? Maybe because not many people here are natives? Not sure why we are different, but we are.I've never experienced the kind of pressure some here seem to have either. I have only personally known two real religious fanitics who continually brought up religion, one of them a transplant from Detroit. However I've personally known lots of atheist who seem to feel it is their mission in life to criticize religion even if they have to create the opportunity to do so.

Granted, I have on a few occasions been invited to someone's church. I explain that I just don't believe in that kind of stuff but think they have every right to. The matter is then forgotten and doesn't come up again.

Maybe I have just always been lucky to live in areas where people either just don't think religion is that big a deal or where they consider what others believe is not their business.

[Nexus]

I’ve never claimed to be atheist. I’m more agnostic. But it’s never affected my life even when I lived in the south. If people there asked me where I went to church I would simply tell them I didn’t go. If they pressed the issue and wanted to know why I would tell them because it’s boring and I don’t like the music they play.

Bad music really does annoy me and no Christian can honestly claim that church music isn’t bad. Sometimes they say their church plays contemporary music. But even they must concede that Christian rock is generic and not any good really. I’ve had a few admit that the music’s purpose is simply to glorify the Lord and they go along with it for that.

I think atheist is a bad word to many because they think of someone suing to stop Christmas or something. Also I think for many morality is inseparable from divine consequences. They are troubled by someone who doesn’t have the motivation they feel is fundamental to good behavior.

[Viti]

I've never experienced the kind of pressure some here seem to have either. I have only personally known two real religious fanitics who continually brought up religion, one of them a transplant from Detroit. However I've personally known lots of atheist who seem to feel it is their mission in life to criticize religion even if they have to create the opportunity to do so.

Granted, I have on a few occasions been invited to someone's church. I explain that I just don't believe in that kind of stuff but think they have every right to. The matter is then forgotten and doesn't come up again.

Maybe I have just always been lucky to live in areas where people either just don't think religion is that big a deal or where they consider what others believe is not their business.


I also wonder if it has something to do with me (and you) and how we present ourselves? I don't hide my atheism, but I don't announce it either. I think, for the most part, that certain topics are inappropriate during a first meeting, and tend to converse on whatever situation brought us together or any apparent commonalities, or bring up safe topics like hobbies etc. Maybe I somehow project that I am not open to discussing politics or religion with a relative stranger?

By the time someone is my friend, my atheism seems to not phase them, or they are merely curious...never hostile.

[verv2]

To me, it's not so much that I'm hiding my atheism. I simply am not broadcasting it. Living where I do, I have been overwhelmed by the religious population. I've said it here before that I cannot even go to the grocery store without some cashier preaching to me (although I'm happy to share that I've found grocery stores where I don't get preached at, so now I frequent those). I have now worked with 3 preachers (and many more hopeful-to-be's) , one of which has started his own church. It seems like everyone talks about their beliefs. Around the building I work in, every other cubicle has a bible, a crucifix, a picture of Jesus, or some other religious blessing or something. So it's not that I'm hiding, but I don't feel comfortable sharing my beliefs. I've been asked here (Texas) about my beliefs (or what church I attend, etc.) in the last 6 years more than I ever have in my entire life. I find myself opting out of conversations a lot. And I know with 100% certainty that the people who do find out about my atheism are shocked. I'm always hearing from my friends that so-and-so was saying "But she's so nice, doesn't she have any morals?", or "Atheism is stupid, she's not really an atheist, she's just going through a time where she is doubtful, but she'll come around".
I truly do feel very much alone here (besides my husband) when it comes to religious faith.

[DougP]

Moved to SL

[deblb8889]

I live in Texas and it is an issue here. There are churches side by side along most streets. Religion comes up in most conversations I've had and even when I interviewed for my current job. I told the interviewer that I was available to work Sundays (after she said "Other than Sundays, what days can't you work") and she didn't react well. Most businesses close by 5 or 6 pm on Sundays (if they open at all) and the mall closes at 6. You can't buy hard liquor on Sundays (or after 9pm). The list goes on and on.

My children and I had a very bad experience a couple of years ago. We had to go into hiding for a few weeks after leaving a very bad situation, only to find that the local shelter was run by religious zealots. We didn't go to the church across the street with everyone else come Sunday. I was told that if I had no respect for the lord, that I shouldn't expect to much consideration while I was there. I didn't get much either. After an incredible amount of discrimination I finally told the administrator that I had just been angry at god but now I have regained my faith (hallelujah). I was finally able, at that point, to get the things done I needed to in order to rebuild my life.

I would probably not cave like that now, but it was a very vulnerable time in my life. Religious fanatics seem like they gravitate to places where they can catch people at their weakest and most desperate. I wonder how many of the "new converts" they produced in that place kept it up once they stepped foot out the door.

[phrog]

In Mormon country I don't offer it up front but don't deny it when asked and I'll get the line, "Oh I don't believe you're Atheist." I do have the darwin fish on my car and havn't had it vandalized yet, but have had the fish ripped off a few times.

I'm director of Atheists of Utah and occasionaly have had meetings at my house. I'll put a 3 foor a-frame sigh witch boldly exclaims "Atheists of Utah" on my front porch. I do get a kick of the church goers walking by. Some are qhite aghast!

[Christina Mirabilis]

I post on another forum where the only other female is a fundamentalist pro-life activist, and she's created an atmosphere in which even stating that you don't believe in her version of god is considered a personal attack on her intelligence, and virtually every conversation leads back to abortion. It's the only time I can recall being uncomfortable about my beliefs and attitudes. There's nothing like being cast in the role of whore to some simpering madonna :rolleyes:

I'm glad it's not as bad in the rest of the country as I thought it might be. I bet it's rough if you come from a fundamentalist background, though. My mom thinks atheism is just another phase I'm going through, and ignores it.

[Philosoft]

How open I am depends on the read I get on the putatively interested party and how willing I am to defend my philosophies at the time.

One of the bus drivers at school gave me some 40-year-old creationist propaganda at the beginning of the year. I put off responding to her because I could tell she was ill-equipped to consider her position's problems from a scientific perspective. Not an atheist-related issue per se, but she seemed to have a black-and-white (read Christian vs. atheist) approach to the topic.

One of the criminal justice teachers, however, I got along with easily, and I ended up letting him in on my 'secret.'

[BMD]

I am at the tail end of a process of losing faith that has been going on for a few years, so I am not quite sure what to call myself. (In discussions, my wife and I have decided upon "agnostic" though she may still have some leanings towards there being "something" out there while I may lean a little more towards being pretty sure that there is not. But the differences are subtle.)

Anyhow, I live just outside Birmingham, AL and I have not discussed this with anyone other than my wife. And I am not sure that I will ever be comfortable doing so.

My family are essentially all fundies and my wife's family close behind. It would kill my mother to tell her how I feel. I just leave the subject alone. But this cannnot go on forever as we had a baby this year. Eventually the lack of any religious instruction will become obvious to the grandparents and they will want to know why. Hell, my mother-in-law has already bought a number of children's Christian books for him. I let him use them as chew toys. I thought it was just that her dog took the first one off and ate it.

But those of you outside of the Bible Belt may have a hard time understanding the culture here. At my job, an engineering research project, almost everyone are strong believers. There is a constant discussion outside my door between the creationist in the cube across the hall and the visitor from down the hall who shows AIG videos at lunch in the conference room. (I leave copies of whatever book I am reading, currently The Cooperative Gene, out on my desk hoping to get a response to no avail. Some know that I am not a YECer but they have not put the rest together.) The girl in the office next to me private schools her kids, the oldest is 8, to keep them from being exposed to evolution although I am not sure what they thought of her recent alledged affair. Our monthly safety meetings always start with a prayer as does the occasional other meeting. You walk through the office and many people keep a Bible on their desks, often studied during their lunch hour.

There was quite a bit of proselytizing at my door when I moved in though that has slacked off. Most of my friends and acquaintances are all religious. The what church do you attend is a common question.

Religion is central to the culture here. Even the political ads promote who plays the piano at their church more than any real issues. To let my true feeling out freely would potentially ruin my family relationships, would lead to ostracization at work and would cause a lot of people I know to change their opinion of me negatively for no reason than I changed my opinion about their god.

So, yes, I keep my feelings to myself as much as I can. Maybe one day I'll say screw it and find out who would really care for me more than my beliefs, but not now.

[newlyconverted]

I live in the bible belt, and I've never met a single person who doesn't believe in God. Seriously. The most liberal friend I have is disillusioned with Christianity, but still believes in a deistic God. I guess I'm in a vast minority, or at least it feels like it.

[MindRevolution]

I have a don't ask don't tell policy. I kind of hide it, I'm in no rush to let everyone know that I am an Atheist, but I won't pretend to be a Christian if someone really wants to know. I'll let people assume I'm a Christian, but I won't pretend to be one.

[Christina Mirabilis]

I can't recall a time that I brought it up with anyone other than friends in real life unless I was asked directly. There's just nowhere for the conversation to go without at some point sounding intellectually superior and snooty and offending them. Whenever I've admitted it on a forum or made a joke about it, it became the excuse for ankle biting from all the Christians forever after.

[smellincoffee]

It would be most perilous to express nontheistic beliefs down here. You could probably get by if you were from another culture (we had several Buddhists and one Muslim in my graduating class), but most people beleived in the Christian God even if they didn't act like it.

[sigmadog]

Well, since one of my clients is Catholic Charities, and several other clients are very religious, I keep my atheism to myself because I like making money.

[reitz]

Western PA is a fairly secular place and most people have the attitude that religion is a personal thing, so it just doesn't come up very often. On the rare occasions that it does, I usually just reply that I'm not religious and it's left at that. A few times someone will question me further, and I'll explain that I'm an atheist. Most people here are what I like to call apatheists with only a few who self-identify as atheists, so they're usually caught off guard a little, but I've never met someone who had a problem with it.

Some people at work know I don't go to church, a few know I'm an atheist. I couldn't tell you the religious beliefs of most of my co-workers (though apathetic Catholic would be a pretty good guess, since they seem to be the majority in Western PA). If I were to post a Darwin fish and other atheist paraphenalia in my cubicle, people would definitely look at me a little strangely...probably the same way they look at the couple of fundies and their Jesus fish.

I don't hide my atheism, but I don't exactly broadcast it, either. Aside from the occasional fundy, no one else broadcasts his religion here, so I don't find the need.

[reitz]

Our monthly safety meetings always start with a prayer as does the occasional other meeting. You walk through the office and many people keep a Bible on their desks, often studied during their lunch hour.Starting a meeting with a prayer where I work would result in someone getting fired. I work in an office with around 700 other people, and I know of only three who have bibles on their desks (though obviously there are more, as I don't know everyone). I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to live in the Bible Belt.

[Fullmetal Atheist]

I hid my non-belief for over a year. I lost my faith in my senior year of highschool and was afraid of how my family would re-act. So I just kept pretending. I even kept alter-serving (as the MC no less) for several months. Trained a whole new bunch of alter servers before quiting. Even helped in the Mass where my future sister in law got baptized.

But I'm now a sophmore in College and only recently told my family (a couple months ago) about my lack of belief. They all just think its a phase I'm going through which is very fustrating and condescending but of course they don't have any clue how rude it is to tell someone that they don't really believe what they think they do.

In general the people I meet at my university don't discuss religion. I have been dragged into a few religious discussions but they always remained civil. I don't yell that I'm an atheist from the top of my lungs but I am honest if someone asks me about my religious beliefs. I lied for so long that its refreshing to finally be honest with people. Most people act shocked when I tell them but after explaining what the word atheist actually means most people find me to be a curiousity rather than a threat.

Still haven't found any other atheists, but then again I haven't actually searched for them either. I try to keep religion out of my personal relationships and I don't pre-judge people based on their religious views just as I hope they don't pre-judge me.

[BMD]

Starting a meeting with a prayer where I work would result in someone getting fired. I work in an office with around 700 other people, and I know of only three who have bibles on their desks (though obviously there are more, as I don't know everyone). I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to live in the Bible Belt.

Even when I was a Christian, a Southern Baptist at that, I was uncomfortable with some of what goes on. It is too forward for a professional organization in a large company. There are several people from other countries who hold other beliefs or none at all who work there. One was given a Bible. He read the whole thing and then said it was a wonderful book of which he did not believe a word. Someone called that "sad" and I was inclined to agree at the time.

I am glad to be out from under that kind of belief, but almost everyone I know still is.

[Tsuyoiko]

One of the great things about living in England is that no one gives a shit what religion you are. I'm in England too, and can verify that mostly no-one gives a shit. I do come across the odd evangelist who looks as it as if I said I had AIDS or something. I soon stun them into silence with a few brute facts :devil1: . Other than that, no problem at all.

[EverLastingGodStopper]

I don't mention my atheism unless someone else mentions it first. I live in a redneck area of South Jersey, where people do not like minorities. The locals tend to consider the presence of an atheist to be a direct challenge to their freedom, lifestyle, and worldview, so I generally don't mention religion (or politics) around non-friends. Amongst those who already know me, it's no secret, and everyone already knows I'm an activist with several secular groups, so there's no need to mention the fact that I'm an atheist.

I don't deny it if someone outs me, but I don't feel the need to bring it up every 10 seconds or scream about it in restaurants, stores, newspapers, etc.

[Ultimate Atheist]

The locals tend to consider the presence of an atheist to be a direct challenge to their freedom, lifestyle...

Oh the irony! :banghead:

[flashbaby]

I'm in England too, and can verify that mostly no-one gives a shit. I do come across the odd evangelist who looks as it as if I said I had AIDS or something. I soon stun them into silence with a few brute facts :devil1: . Other than that, no problem at all.


Yes but none of these nutters are neighbours or workmates as seems to be case in the USA.

I usually stun them into silence with a few blunt fuck offs.

[The Central Scrutinizer]

From Georgetown, Texas here. Living in college, I'm pretty open about my nonbelief. My college webpage even has a link to this site. :blush:

That being said, I don't usually go out of my way to tell people about my views on religion. While a whole lot of people my own age (~21) are completely understanding of it, the older generations can be a bit less flexible.

I mostly avoid discussing the issue with anyone I knew before I deconverted. Although my best male friend and I both sort of pushed each other into atheism with our relentless questioning of our mutual RC religion (along with our disdain for the extent to which his mother has taken said religion), most of my friends from high school and my relatives still believe in God.

Overall, I try to be polite and avoid confrontations about it, so I don't get much shit. I have honestly had more trouble from New Agers than from Christians. But of course, I laugh a lot more obnoxiously at New Agers.

[EarlOfLade]

Why should I hide my atheism when religious people do not hide their religion?

[ad_antiquitatem]

I can report that nobody gives a flying fuck in my little corner of Australia. Most of the Christians I know of tend to keep their views very much to themselves. The Aethiests tend to be the more vocal lot. Then again, the most devout Christian family I know goes to church three times a year, so we probably arent looking at the most fervent bunch of believers.

Most of the Christians who do push a public agenda in Sydney are the kind who have wild eyes, smell slightly musty and belt a tattered copy of the bible while standing on street corners shouting unintelligible drivel about the impending apocalypse at passers by. They are often encouraged to move along by the local constabulary.

There is a bit of a puritanical streak in parts of Sydney though. And our local Anglican church has probably the most powerful conservative arm in the western world, so they must be out there. And we have a few successful conservative religious politicians. But though they are vocal, they are seem to be small in number and are severly outnumbered by the heathen masses.

[Viti]

Even when I was a Christian, a Southern Baptist at that, I was uncomfortable with some of what goes on. It is too forward for a professional organization in a large company. There are several people from other countries who hold other beliefs or none at all who work there. One was given a Bible. He read the whole thing and then said it was a wonderful book of which he did not believe a word. Someone called that "sad" and I was inclined to agree at the time.

I am glad to be out from under that kind of belief, but almost everyone I know still is.

Pretty sure that's all illegal. The prayers and the prosyletizing create a hostile working environment for non-Christians.

[xxx]

In Ct, only people whose ethnicity is stereotypically devout Christian cares either way. Most people here have very casual beliefs. Even some of the more religious have fairly liberal political views.

[Ultimate Atheist]

Pretty sure that's all illegal. The prayers and the prosyletizing create a hostile working environment for non-Christians.

I'm pretty sure its illegal for the schools to hand out Bibles. I'm pretty sure its illegal for the government to endorse any particular religion. I'm pretty sure there are lots of illegal things that Christians do and get away with because they're the ones in control. They're gaining more control lately. I wouldn't be surprised if they started rounding us up in camps in the future.

[Godless Dave]

At my last job, several people read the Bible (or Lee Strobel or the Left Behind series) on their lunch hours, and one guy hung his ID from a strap that said "Jesus Saves", but no one ever started a meeting with a prayer or discussed religion with anyone but their fellow Bible-readers.

I live in the secular, liberal-leaning city, but my job was in one of the more affluent, more fundy, conservative suburbs.

[Godless Dave]

I'm in England too, and can verify that mostly no-one gives a shit. I do come across the odd evangelist who looks as it as if I said I had AIDS or something. I soon stun them into silence with a few brute facts :devil1: .

Check out this subforum for threads started by user Cat59. She lives in England and the people around her do give very much of a shit what she believes - but only the people in her family, not the public at large.

[Godless Dave]

I generally don't mention religion (or politics) around non-friends.

I don't either, as a matter of politeness. But I'm fortunate in that the faithful around me, including fundies, mostly view the politeness issue in the same way. I think it's one aspect of the misnamed "Minnesota nice" - don't discuss anything of substance with strangers or casual acquaintances, but put whatever bumper stickers you want on your car.

[Christina Mirabilis]

I've worked for either local government or nonprofits for most of my life, and virtually every funding contract I ever signed specifically prohibited any and all religious activity. What you do on your own time is your business, but overt religious symbols can't be displayed even in your office if you meet with the public. It's ok with me :)

[Hypatia_Jo]

In the midwest and south an Atheist is looked at with scorn, pity and disrespect. Even if the faithful are nice to your face they're concerned for your soul, think you lack the ability to understand, and/or are amoral and deviant. My mom likes to say that intelligent people just think differently (but it's a substandard way of thinking. Less respectable than faith, imagine that). My mom blames technology and scientists for today's life problems and foreign affairs. You know, those substandard intelligent people who lack morals. Even if you point out that most criminals are religious folk and the worst being the fundi's, the argument is that most people aren't true Xtians but hypocrits. Everyone but the one your talking with of course.

There are a few that keep their opnions to themselves and try to respect us the way we try to respect them. But they are very few. Typically once someone learns that you are an Atheist they behave differently around you or avoid you all together (unless they are on a mission to convert you).

Then there are the fundimentalists that hold nothing back. Pure assholes.

[Donkeykong]

I've worked for either local government or nonprofits for most of my life, and virtually every funding contract I ever signed specifically prohibited any and all religious activity. What you do on your own time is your business, but overt religious symbols can't be displayed even in your office if you meet with the public. It's ok with me :)

I work in state Govt (in the bible Belt) and religion is every where. At diversity training The teacher of the class, when the subject came to homosexuals said. "Well, the bible says homosexuality is an abomination. But you shouldn't refuse to work with a homosexual cause the bible tells us to convert sinners"
:eek:

[Christina Mirabilis]

Wow. That's unbelievable to me. I was the director of a homeless shelter for a long time, and we couldn't even host holiday celebrations for the different religious holidays. We could celebrate the commercial aspects of anything, but not the religious. Now I work for govt again, and you aren't even supposed to have a nativity scene thing on your desk, but I'm guessing we'd all just ignore it if they were quiet about it. It amazes me that they get away with all that where you live.

But since this is Santa Cruz, you can have all the crystals and fairies that you want :rolleyes:

[Donkeykong]

Yeah in my town if you are atheist or gay it is best to keep your head down and your mouth shut

[Christina Mirabilis]

Our most conservative city councilman is a marxist/feminist pot smoker. Here, if you have anything right of far left to say, it's best to keep your head down and your mouth shut.

[Donkeykong]

Shit that sounds like my kind of town:D

[FatherMithras]

Our most conservative city councilman is a marxist/feminist pot smoker. Here, if you have anything right of far left to say, it's best to keep your head down and your mouth shut.

Wow. I don't know which side I'd like less now. Damn extremes. I need to find somewhere with a nice cnetral attitude. Oddly enough, my hometown in Ocala, Florida seems to have it. I'm in Charleston SC right now. I refuse to hide my atheism, and in fact started the first Atheist club this year, in the Citadel. You think being an atheist is tough in the bible belt? Try being in the Bible belt with the military!!! Heheh.

[Christina Mirabilis]

It's definitely extreme. The council has voted to ask congress to impeach Bush several times, declared us a nuclear free zone and given out medical marijuana on the steps of city hall, but they can't fix a pothole. Military ships can't dock here on the 4th of July, and the Miss California pageant was run out of town for being sexist. We make CNN all the time for being nuts. It's just a more entertaining extreme for me than the other one. I don't live in the city itself, so I can just make popcorn and enjoy the show.

[Donkeykong]

Which city is it again?

[Christina Mirabilis]

Santa Cruz. It's on the top of Monterey Bay right on the central coast.

[Donkeykong]

So near SF?

[Christina Mirabilis]

It's about 70 miles south of SF

I guess it is technically possible to derail your own topic LOL. After this, I'll tell you more in the lounge somewhere if you want to know more :)

[Donkeykong]

You are right I guess I did derail it:o Sorry:D

[Nemoralis]

I'm in Mississippi, and go to a private Christian school an hour away from where I actually live. I don't bring up my atheism in my own town, which is primarily Christian. I am the only member of my immediate family besides my step-father who goes to church every Sunday. I have several reasons for this - mostly because I like to expose myself to Christianity and partly because it stops my friends here from asking about whether or not I am a Christian. They tend to just assume. If they found out I was an atheist, things could go down hill fast.

At my school it's a different story. Since it's so far away and in a different town, I have a completely separate group of friends there. It's a really good moderately liberal Episcopal school. This year is the first year I have really been secure enough in my social standing to be open about my atheism. And now I've found out that a few of my friends are closet atheists/agnostics who were afraid to come out, so I've gotten a lot more respect for my openness now.

I don't bring up religion intentionally, but it gets brought up a lot for me. If I do feel like debating a little (it's always fun, and the people at my school are very fun and diplomatic about it) then I will participate and usually win.

My parents are very religious though, and I dont mention my atheism at home. It leeked out once a while back because my mom saw that I had left an atheist website up. Since then, my dad has really freaked out about it and his sister sends me Bibles and Christian literature every Christmas (which I usually do read). My grandparents are fundamentalists, and my grandmother cried when she found out.

Wow...that was longer than I intended. :)

[Donkeykong]

Nice post you sound like a cool person:notworthy:

[Nemoralis]

Nice post you sound like a cool person
Me? If so, gracias. :grin:

[Aikanaro]

I broadcast my atheism loud and clear. Here in Australia 'atheism' isn't a dirty word even at a Catholic school, and I have numerous strongly Christian friends with who I discuss and debate religion often. I've even done several assignments involving religion in a negative light - which is going to climax in my next and final English oral on why faith is a bad thing - athevengelism in action :)

[Christina Mirabilis]

I've never been particularly hostile to religious folk as long as they left me alone. After being held captive, bored and irritated by nuns for 12 years, I just don't want to hear about it anymore. As soon as someone starts talking the bible at me, my brain instantly moves on to more interesting subjects. It's become more of an issue to me since the religious right became so prevalent in politics. I could care less what they believe, but I don't want to live in a christian theocracy any more than I want to live in a muslim one, so I think I've gotten a bit more strident in response.

[Godless Dave]

It's definitely extreme. The council has voted to ask congress to impeach Bush several times, declared us a nuclear free zone and given out medical marijuana on the steps of city hall, but they can't fix a pothole. Military ships can't dock here on the 4th of July, and the Miss California pageant was run out of town for being sexist. We make CNN all the time for being nuts. It's just a more entertaining extreme

The two things I've bolded aren't all that extreme in my opinion.

[Christina Mirabilis]

I didn't disagree with any of those things, but they are extreme, I think, compared to the relatively municipal things that most city councils deal with. Well, the nuclear free zone was sort of silly in a little beach town. The Miss California protests were great - women dressed in bikinis with steaks hanging off them had a competing Myth California pageant out front for a few years. I'm fairly extreme about my politics, but I would fix the potholes too.

[Hypatia_Jo]

Oh, that sounds a lot like what I got both from NE and more so in OKC. My son isn't in school yet, but I am so nervous about it. My husband and I agreed to a don't ask don't tell policy. We're new here in OKC and have been invited to a church. I am stumped sometimes. I just say I'll think about it or discuss it with my husband some time. Oh I hate it.

[Hypatia_Jo]

I am interested what you might think of a thread I placed in the lounge "Are You?" Check it out if you will.

[Hypatia_Jo]

We're packing our bags and on our way! Holayluya, Sweet Freedom!

[EarlOfLade]

Yeah in my town if you are atheist or gay it is best to keep your head down and your mouth shut

This is what is called freedom, y'all! Good ol'e US of A!

[Hypatia_Jo]

I want to invite you to a threat I posted in the lounge "Are You?"

I'm curious what an agnostic would think of what I present there.

[southernhybrid]

My own experience has been very different from many other southern atheists. I am open about my atheism but I am also very tolerant and non emotional about what other people believe. I probably tell at least one or two people on a monthly basis that I am atheist, a non religious person or an unbeliever. The word atheist has so much baggage that I sometimes choose to use a word that has been less demonized. I am also a Humanist so sometimes I use that word and then explain what it means. Atheism is a negative ( by that I mean it's a lack of belief ) and I prefer to describe myself in positive ways.

I personally think that the reason I have very little flack from others is that they usually know me and like me before I tell them what I believe. If they never bring it up, neither do I. Just two days ago, I told a young woman that I know that I was an unbeliever and a totally secular person. She told me that now that she knows that, she will be more careful about not bringing up her Xian beliefs around me since she doesn't want to be offensive. I had a coworker tell me she was very proud of me when I had a letter published in the Atlanta Journal last year about my atheism. I had a Xian tell me last year that it was cool to meet an atheist, especially one that identified with humanism. I think a lot of it has to do with how you come across.

An atheist that has a big chip on her shoulder is far more likely to be met with antagonism than one that is calm and tolerant. I'm sure that is not always the case but it has been my experience as one that has lived in the south for over 35 years. People that have already formed negative opinions about me might use my atheism as a way to further justify their opinions. People that like me don't seem to be bothered by it.

I have more problems from people when I tell them I don't vote Republican than I do when I tell them I'm an atheist.:D

[alicia_lmh]

I'm from a very religious town in Pennsylvania. There's a church on every corner. Back in my agnostic years, I would tell my friends what I believe, and they would look at me like I was crazy. Then they would try to debate with me, and, since I'm not good with face-to-face confrontations, I would change the subject.

As for my family, they ganged up on one of my cousins when she just hinted about not believing in god anymore. I don't think I would be able to handle that, so I never told them. The only family member I told about my atheism is my sister. Although she never attacked me for it, I don't think she takes me serious enough.

[Seeker630]

for Christina-

I'm lucky that way. I've been told this area of Florida is pretty fundy and conservative--I don't know for sure, but there's probably some truth to that due to the fact that it's a big retirement area, and the older crowd tends to lean more conservative to start with. I never make any attempt to hide my atheism if someone asks. I just don't go around wearing it on my sleeve either though. I am retired--I don't have to worry about losing a job. All my friends and family know I'm atheistic--I haven't lost anyone yet over it.

Anyone else doesn't like it ----they can stick it up their asses, I don't need them hanging around anyway.

[6for2]

As others have mentioned, the first question I hear, when meeting someone for the first time is: "What church do you attend?" God is the focal point of the lives of most people I know in this town, and I overhear frequent condemnations of non-Christians. I fear that my business would suffer greatly if I were open about my non-belief, and I don't want to cause my kids to become outcasts at school, either.

[spamandham]

What is it like in more conservative parts of the country? Is your atheism something that you really have to hide? I’m curious also about other parts of California. I’ve seen a few locations on profiles like San Jose, Silicon Valley or the Central Coast – is it any less tolerant there than in Santa Cruz?

I live in a Dallas suburb, and there is still quite a lynch mob mentality here. I have no doubt my lack-o-faith would be held against me at work, and might even get me fired (although they wouldn't admit that was the reason). I would like to put a freethought symbol of some kind on my car, but I'm sure some dumbass bubba would vandalize it.

My family knows I'm an atheist, but even most of my friends don't. I just don't discuss religion with them. If it ever came up, I would be willing to tell them, but I see no point in bringing it up.

[anevilpetingzoo]

Most of the people I have met in my personal life have been either atheist, agnostic or apathetic to religion in general.
I have actually been lulled into putting my foot way into my mouth on a few occasions when I was unaware that a devout Catholic was listening in...

[QuakeAttack]

I don't hide my atheism, but I don't go out of my way to announce it either. I found that in high school and college that discussions with "religious" people wasn't very productive. They tended to just get offended when I asked questions that they couldn't answer and lapsed into "Well, I just believe..." routine.

Since my wife is Catholic, I actually go to church with her. So, a lot of people think that I'm Catholic, some of them know that I'm not, and others don't say anything. However, living in California is definitely different than the rest of the country. Most people don't really care about your religion and look at "religion" as a personal thing...