I'm going to rejoin the church.

[mordred]

I still don't believe in God and I never will again, but I don't really believe in anything else either. So I figure I'll be able to at least make everyone in my family happy by showing up to church on Sunday and smiling. I wish that I had never stopped believing. Ignorance is bliss.

[Biff the unclean]

Your family must think very little of you if they have no respect for what you believe. They prefer hypocrisy over the real you?

Sounds like it's time to move out.

[The Atheist]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What he said.

[LoungeHead]

I've often considered practicing a religion as a cultural practice rather than a religious practice. It seems it would offer various political, social and potential economic benefits. But I could never reconcile the fact I don't actually endorse the fundamental requirements of any particular religion i.e. believe certain fictions that are promoted as dogma.

If such requirements were not fundamental to the the religious culture I might be able to practice it without personal conflict, much like I might support a political party's policies despite disagreeing with their fundamental ideology. To endorse a religion it seems I would be acting falsely and deceitfully to my peers.
I figure I'll be able to at least make everyone in my family happy by showing up to church on Sunday and smiling.
Will you go to church on Sunday and be open about your non-belief, or will you hide it?

I'll be interested to see how you go... so keep us updated.

The problem I see with it is problems in building genuine relations with people in your church community. Religion is ultimately about social exclusiveness, where a criteria that includes belief of certain doctrine is necessary for you to be considered fully human, and a social equal.

Also I have difficulty with the fact I accept my religious friends beliefs as merely different or an alternative way of life, yet they do not accept mine in the same way; instead they view my beliefs as morally wrong despite whatever morally integrity I might have as a person. :frown:

[Imaginary Mark]

Oh, man, the thought of going back to church makes me shudder. I tried it very briefly after I deconverted, just for the social aspect of it. It just made me feel more lonely.

Let us know how it goes. I'm curious if your experience will be different from mine.

[Her pinkness saves]

http://www.vgcats.com/gallery/PW_800x600.jpg
^ do that in church during a sermon, your family will never make you go ever again.

actually, dont. >.>

I still don't believe in God and I never will again,
baring any new data of course. :P
but I don't really believe in anything else either. So I figure I'll be able to at least make everyone in my family happy by showing up to church on Sunday and smiling.
O.o if you see religion as filling a need, rather then being an accessory, then by all means fill it.


I wish that I had never stopped believing. Ignorance is bliss.

agreed.
http://forum.mambo-foundation.org/images/smilies/hug.gif

[garrisonjj]

I've made a similar discovery. I attend church as a social necessity and to model for the children who are receiving instruction. Yet, I blaspheme while doing this because I believe nothing and thats where I want to be. Such behavior used to be a "mortal sin" for me,but I hated the conflict religion was causing me.
Now, when necessary, I attend, receive communion, another "mortal sin" for not "being in the state of grace and my internal reaction is "FUCK IT!". I walk out and am not struck dead and no longer accept feelings of guilt over imaginary gods! (Just my reaction to this similar experience)

[ELECTROGOD]

So I figure I'll be able to at least make everyone in my family happy by showing up to church on Sunday and smiling.
Why not just make it Sunday dinner with the family and call it even?

[Draconis]

I wonder how many others in church are just there for the ride, just for appearances, etc?

[Immortal]

They should love you no matter what. Religious or no.

Don't go back to church just to make them happy. They can deal with it. If they can't, then just tell them to stop acting like children and grow up.

[Thomas II]

I still don't believe in God and I never will again, but I don't really believe in anything else either. So I figure I'll be able to at least make everyone in my family happy by showing up to church on Sunday and smiling. I wish that I had never stopped believing. Ignorance is bliss.

Ah,yes...The old pretense...:D

[southernhybrid]

I wouldn't attend church to please family members but if it doesn't bother you to do so, I don't understand why anyone here feels they have the right to criticize you. I don't remember you asking for their approval or advice.

There's a very nice man in my Humanist group that attends a very fundy church with his wife. I imagine he must love her very much. I've never asked him why he does it because I don't feel it's any of my fucking business. I'm quite sure there are many atheists in churches and I'm sure they all have their own reasons for attending church, whether to fill a social need or to please family members. Having a happy homelife sometimes means making compromises.

[beorne]

I attend church as a social necessity and to model for the children who are receiving instruction. ...

What sort of model is this? I don't ask to be judgmental, but this is what my wife wants me to do, 'for the children's sake'; so I don't confuse them. But I just can't pretend, and I think it is better for the children to know the truth.

[Thomas II]

What sort of model is this? I don't ask to be judgmental, but this is what my wife wants me to do, 'for the children's sake'; so I don't confuse them. But I just can't pretend, and I think it is better for the children to know the truth.

I would say...

[Alethias]

I wouldn't attend church to please family members but if it doesn't bother you to do so, I don't understand why anyone here feels they have the right to criticize you. I don't remember you asking for their approval or advice.

There's a very nice man in my Humanist group that attends a very fundy church with his wife. I imagine he must love her very much. I've never asked him why he does it because I don't feel it's any of my fucking business. I'm quite sure there are many atheists in churches and I'm sure they all have their own reasons for attending church, whether to fill a social need or to please family members. Having a happy homelife sometimes means making compromises.Probably a very good analysis of that situation.

My wife pretty much knows where I stand, but If i started going back to her charismatic non-denominational church with her, she'd have this 'hope' in her heart that I was re-converting, that 'Jesus was drawing me back'. I don't wanna raise her hopes falsely.

I miss the community I felt with christians. But I can't imagine myself ever actually believing that way again, and I'll not lie to anyone about what I believe, and I don't want to give my wife false hope.

Alethias

[Alethias]

This is more a Secular Lifestyle thread than it is a General Religious Discussion, so I'm moving it.

Alethias, GRD Moderator

[4 billion]

Mordred, doing things that ones family do not do is an inherrent part of existence. It is also a healthy activity, in that it tests and develops one identity as an individual. A member of my family spent years working for his father, when he didn't really want to, as a result of the stress he went insane for a while. An extreme case, I realise, but none the less, a powerful reminder of how important it is to be true to oneself.

[ApostateAbe]

You are like the guy in the Matrix who takes the blue pill. Can I really condemn a man for that? There are some who value truth and pride, and others value family unity and peace. It is merely a difference of values. A philosopher would not choose to live a charade, but philosophers are the most miserable people in society.

[Harumi]

This is where I am thankful that I was raised in an Asian family, where religious practice doesn't coincide with social practice, but is mostly cultural. I can celebrate holidays while looking at the historical causes, and not feel the need to believe in supernatural idiocy.

Go if you must. But I suspect that you will find yourself even lonelier. This is often the case when you are the only person in a mass of people who feels differently.

[blkgayatheist]

I wouldn't attend church to please family members but if it doesn't bother you to do so, I don't understand why anyone here feels they have the right to criticize you. I don't remember you asking for their approval or advice.


no but he did post this in an internet discussion forum so its reasonable to expect that people will share their opinions.

It would be very hard for me to go to church at fake it at this point, no matter the reasons.

[CanoeMan]

Can't you make them a nice meal while they're in church, and have it ready by the time they get home? And you can all eat lunch together as a family.
Shouldn't that make them happy?

[Zygote]

I've heard the Anglicans are pretty relaxed about whether or not members actually believe the supernatural stuff, as are the Unitarian Universalists, of course.

If weekly church had been a part of my social world and I enjoyed the show and the rituals and maybe the music, I could see going. I could even see setting an example for the kids of "See the vestigial ancient rituals? Aren't they quaint? The god stuff is all pretend of course, based on old superstitions but they keep it in there out of tradition."

"What, Honey? You don't want me saying what I believe to the kids? You actually believe in the make believe stuff yourself? My goodness! Whatever for? They'll still feed you that cracker snack even if you don't believe, you know."

</mischievous, angelic tone>

[Nemoralis]

I go to church every Sunday. In fact I am the only member of my immediate family besides my step father who does so. Up until just recently, I would have pretended to be a theist if the issue ever came up, but now I won't. As of yet, all my friends in the town where I attend church just assume that I am a Christian, so it is never questioned. I'm actually looking forward to it "coming out" so that I can find out who my true friends are. A bit of a test maybe, but I'm intrested.

Recently (as in the last couple of weeks) I have become much more open about my atheistic and political beliefs, but my religious friends in my hometown still have no idea. Church is an odd experience for me - I feel very awkward and out of place. I suppose that I attend for two reasons: 1) for the cultural/social aspect and to generally expose myself to religion; and 2) because it is about the most awkward social situation I could possibly put myself in and that is a challenge for me, which I enjoy.

I hope your experience goes well. I think it's interesting, personally, and I enjoy it. I wouldn't (and did not) start going just because of family pressure, but if it's something you feel is necessary then I can certainly understand it.

[The Atheist]

I'm just amazed at those of you who claim to be atheists yet are married to christian!

How on Earth do you reconcile two such horrendously opposite opinions in the family? I could not do it. I could not stand idly by and watch someone - even their mother - lie to my kids about life, god/s and death.

[HiddenWolf]

I'm just amazed at those of you who claim to be atheists yet are married to christian!

How on Earth do you reconcile two such horrendously opposite opinions in the family? I could not do it. I could not stand idly by and watch someone - even their mother - lie to my kids about life, god/s and death.

Shockingly, people who are not dogmatic about their subjective beliefs, are able to find other solid common grounds with each other and compromise.

[The Atheist]

Shockingly, people who are not dogmatic about their subjective beliefs, are able to find other solid common grounds with each other and compromise.Yeah, of course.

I am, and more than just a little!

[TheGreaterForce]

mixed belief's in the family is one thing that needs to be avoided completely, because it's asking for pins and needles.

as an atheist, i once attend church, well because my girlfriend/friend wanted me to, so i humbled myself to attend, and i was extremely uncomfortable. so sadly, it was only a one deal shot, and i never went back ever again.

me and her are just friends now. for those of you who have family's, i understand your plight as far as going to church, keeping the peace with family members and all, but aren't you doing the kids a disservice by not telling the truth? me personally, i would hate faking the funk every sunday of my life, then having to log on infidels.org monday through saturday voicing out your reasonings on why church dogma is so jacked up and a lie.

how and why put yourself at such a dis-ease?

[blastula]

I'm just amazed at those of you who claim to be atheists yet are married to christian!

A lot of good people are Christians. Some of them are even hot.

[The Atheist]

A lot of good people are Christians. Some of them are even hot.I am dead-set lmfao!

I'm not a philanderer - any more - and I have in my time used sex with hot christian chicks as a means of turning them off their stupid god/s, as well as having a lot of fun.

I have not at any stage allowed my kids to become infected with the belief that there is, or could be, god/s. I don't have close christian friends and don't believe I ever could do, let alone have a relationship with one.

[Giant Space Amoeba]

I'm just amazed at those of you who claim to be atheists yet are married to christian!

How on Earth do you reconcile two such horrendously opposite opinions in the family? I could not do it. I could not stand idly by and watch someone - even their mother - lie to my kids about life, god/s and death.

my parents do fine - Dad is atheist, my mum a christian. Though admittedly non of their children are christian. both me and my sister are atheists, im not sure of my brothers position but he's not religious.

[blastula]

There are Christians who don't let their religion interfere with their personal relationships, while they are atheists who do make it a problem (as The Atheist shows above).

[TheGreaterForce]

wow. i wish i can find a woman, who's not vexed, because i'm a freethinker (atheist). it's not so much of me being the problem, its the women i run into that seems to make it a problem.:frown:

[Jobar]

Have you thought of trying to get them to change churches? The UUs allow openly skeptical people to be members, as do, I think, the Quakers.

The more fundamentalist the church you're attending, the more difficult and painful it'll be for you to fit in.

And ignorance is NOT bliss! It's a sure route to suffering, in many ways.

[Underseer]

I'm a lifelong atheist, but in my childhood I occasionally participated in Shinto rituals and viewed it as a purely cultural experience. Of course, I didn't have to do it every single week. ;)