Wasted Sapience
May 12, 2007, 08:24 PM
The particular judgement, that is. It's hard for the preachers to make up their minds on which it will be.
WS: Where am I?
God: You're in the afterlife. Your physical body has died.
WS: How can I see, hear, smell, taste, and feel if my nervous system is no longer working? Without sensory perception?
God: With me, all things are possible. What are your thoughts on that?
WS: It's still very much possible that I'm not dead; rather in a coma, and this is all a dreamworld.
God: Trust me, this is the afterlife. Wasted Sapience, how do you think you lived your life?
WS: I thought I did everything possible to make my life worth the 13.7 billion years it took for me to come into existence. Even though it really looked like everything was the result of natural phenomenona and no one really did any of the work necessary for me to be, I still thought it had been quite a spectacular thing which happened and didn't feel like wasting it. Though I must admit I did waste a great deal of my sapience, especially just sitting on my rump watching cable news all day.
God: You accomplished much. A lot more than those medevil serfs who were always praying to me asking for this and that. Why did you lose faith in me?
WS: A lot of reasons. What do you want to know about? Origins, what they told me about your nature, suffering in the world?
God: Let's talk about whatever you were told about my nature. You're not in the physical world anymore, you're here.
WS: Well you always came off really harsh in the Bible. Even in the New Testament where you were supposed to be "friendly" you weren't very loving. There were a lot of preachers who made Jesus out to be this really great, cool guy, but when I was reading the Bible he never seemed like the guy in all of those made-for-television movies. Then one day a priest told me that you were going to let everyone into heaven. I didn't know it at the time, but this was called universalism. For a while that made me feel really good, but then I sat down and read the Gospels again, and it sure as hell didn't sound like universalism was true. Then I didn't have a reason to want to believe anymore, and after my will to believe was gone, then all of the reasons I had for believing seemed so hallow. There weren't any good reasons to believe, so I sort of stopped.
God: You doubted that I existed, that you were a special creation of mine with an unknown yet divine purpose. How did you find meaning in life?
WS: Religion may have gradually eroded for me, but a lot of its reminants remained for quite some time. Once those started breaking down, I read a great deal about philosophy, and even some of the straightforward works themselves. I was particularly interested in existentialism, but I also gave a great deal of thought to the ancient Greeks, the Scientific Revolution, and the Enlightenment. These thinkers who lived long before me helped me find meaning in life at least as well as religion ever had, maybe even better.
God: Yes, the Greeks were pretty cool. I should have made them my choose people, but they were just too tolerant of homosexuality. Is there anything you regret?
WS: Yes, and I'm going to have to ask to be forgiven.
God: For what?
WS: For being a Christian early in life. For succumbing to slave morality and believing life was indeed bad, and forsaking so much time in the hope that the next life would indeed be better, as Christianity taught. For believing that all of humanity was infected with an evil called "original sin" which they couldn't overcome without the help of an ancient Jew they had never met. For thinking religion was anything more than a political tool. For those times as a teenager when I laughed at the scientists trying to tell me where I came from.
God: Those were some good, well-thought out answers, Wasted Sapience. Would you like to enter paradise?
WS: Sure. Just one question first.
God: What's that?
WS: Why did you completely abandon us in the physical world, leaving us to fend for ourselves, only to want us to "be with you" in the spiritual world?
WS: Where am I?
God: You're in the afterlife. Your physical body has died.
WS: How can I see, hear, smell, taste, and feel if my nervous system is no longer working? Without sensory perception?
God: With me, all things are possible. What are your thoughts on that?
WS: It's still very much possible that I'm not dead; rather in a coma, and this is all a dreamworld.
God: Trust me, this is the afterlife. Wasted Sapience, how do you think you lived your life?
WS: I thought I did everything possible to make my life worth the 13.7 billion years it took for me to come into existence. Even though it really looked like everything was the result of natural phenomenona and no one really did any of the work necessary for me to be, I still thought it had been quite a spectacular thing which happened and didn't feel like wasting it. Though I must admit I did waste a great deal of my sapience, especially just sitting on my rump watching cable news all day.
God: You accomplished much. A lot more than those medevil serfs who were always praying to me asking for this and that. Why did you lose faith in me?
WS: A lot of reasons. What do you want to know about? Origins, what they told me about your nature, suffering in the world?
God: Let's talk about whatever you were told about my nature. You're not in the physical world anymore, you're here.
WS: Well you always came off really harsh in the Bible. Even in the New Testament where you were supposed to be "friendly" you weren't very loving. There were a lot of preachers who made Jesus out to be this really great, cool guy, but when I was reading the Bible he never seemed like the guy in all of those made-for-television movies. Then one day a priest told me that you were going to let everyone into heaven. I didn't know it at the time, but this was called universalism. For a while that made me feel really good, but then I sat down and read the Gospels again, and it sure as hell didn't sound like universalism was true. Then I didn't have a reason to want to believe anymore, and after my will to believe was gone, then all of the reasons I had for believing seemed so hallow. There weren't any good reasons to believe, so I sort of stopped.
God: You doubted that I existed, that you were a special creation of mine with an unknown yet divine purpose. How did you find meaning in life?
WS: Religion may have gradually eroded for me, but a lot of its reminants remained for quite some time. Once those started breaking down, I read a great deal about philosophy, and even some of the straightforward works themselves. I was particularly interested in existentialism, but I also gave a great deal of thought to the ancient Greeks, the Scientific Revolution, and the Enlightenment. These thinkers who lived long before me helped me find meaning in life at least as well as religion ever had, maybe even better.
God: Yes, the Greeks were pretty cool. I should have made them my choose people, but they were just too tolerant of homosexuality. Is there anything you regret?
WS: Yes, and I'm going to have to ask to be forgiven.
God: For what?
WS: For being a Christian early in life. For succumbing to slave morality and believing life was indeed bad, and forsaking so much time in the hope that the next life would indeed be better, as Christianity taught. For believing that all of humanity was infected with an evil called "original sin" which they couldn't overcome without the help of an ancient Jew they had never met. For thinking religion was anything more than a political tool. For those times as a teenager when I laughed at the scientists trying to tell me where I came from.
God: Those were some good, well-thought out answers, Wasted Sapience. Would you like to enter paradise?
WS: Sure. Just one question first.
God: What's that?
WS: Why did you completely abandon us in the physical world, leaving us to fend for ourselves, only to want us to "be with you" in the spiritual world?