The Court is now in Session!

[Gothic_J]

Gothic J:

The purpose of this prosecution is to find the defendant, an entity
by the name of Jahweh, guilty of mass murder and other crimes to
a degree not ever seen before in the courts of Humanity. This prosecution
will use his word, a book titled "Holy Bible" as a confession when
it applies to murder, and book of perversions as it applies to the
spreading of unsavoury materials to children. For this purpose, the murders
will be counted as he has listed in the Bible, while the unsavoury
materials will count as being listed each time mentioned, while multiplied
by number of children given to. This is estimated at some three billion.
Hate speech is given this multiplier as well. At various points in his
confession he states murder of cities - as a number cannot be provided,
we will state a charge of genocide. Also, assorted plague weapons have been
loosed by this madman, and will count as crimes against Humanity. Where
orders are given to repression, it will be called as hate speech. All
prophets in this book are considered inspired by Jahweh. Finally, the
book of Revelation will be used as his conspiricy to murder.

It is the intent of this prosecution to find the guilty of all charges,
but not to find every charge he is guilty of. His confession is far too
extensive for one hearing.

The charges of murder.

Genesis 6:7. - Genocide
Genesis 19:24 - Genocide
Genesis 38:7 - 1st degree murder.
Genesis 38:10 - 1st degree murder.
Exodus 7:19 - Crime against Humanity.
Exodus 9:6 - Crime against Humanity.
Exodus 9:9 - Crime against Humanity.
Exodus 9:19 - Crime against Humanity.
Exodus 11:5 - Genocide
Exodus 17:14 - Genocide
Exodus 32:27 - Genocide
Exodus 32:35 - Crime against Humanity
Leviticus 10:1-2 - 1st degree murder, 2 counts
Numbers 3:4 - 1st degree murder, 2 counts
Numbers 11:1 - Genocide
Numbers 11:13 - Crime against Humanity.
Numbers 16:20-49 - Genocide
Numbers 16:41-50 - Crime against Humanity
Numbers 21:3 - Genocide
Numbers 21:6 - Crime against Humanity
Numbers 21:34-35 - Genocide
Numbers 25:1-5 - Genocide
Numbers 25:69 - Crime against Humanity
Numbers 26:10 - Genocide
Numbers 31:7 - Genocide
Numbers 31:18 - Crime against Humanity
Numbers 33:4 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 2:21-22 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 2:30 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 2:33-36 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 3:3,6 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 4:3 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 7:2 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 7:16 - Genocide
Deuteronomy 7:20-23 - Crime against Humanity
Deuteronomy 25:19 - Genocide
Joshua 6:7 - Genocide
Joshua 7:16-24 - Genocide
Joshua 8:8 - Genocide
Joshua 10:10 - Genocide
Joshua 10:11 - Crime against Humanity
Joshua 7:24-16 - Genocide
Joshua 11:6-17 - Genocide
Joshua 11:20 - Genocide
Judges 1:2-7 - Genocide
Judges 1:17, 19 - Genocide
Judges 3:15-22 - 1st degree murder
Judges 3:28-29 - Genocide
Judges 4:15-16 - Genocide
Judges 11:21 - Genocide
Judges 11:33 - Genocide
Judges 12:6 - Genocide
Judges 16:28-30 - Genocide
Judges 20:37 - Genocide
1 Samuel 5:9 - Genocide
1 Samuel 6:19 - Genocide
1 Samuel 15:2-3 - Genocide
1 Samuel 23:4-5 - Genocide
1 Samuel 25:38 - 1st degree murder
2 Samuel 5:19 - Genocide
2 Samuel 6:7 - 1st degree murder
2 Samuel 12:18 - 1st degree murder
2 Samuel 21:1 - Crime against Humanity
2 Samuel 24:13 - Crime against Humanity
1 Kings 20:28-30 - Genocide
1 Kings 20:35 - 1st degree murder
2 Kings 2:23-24 - 1st degree murder, 42 counts
2 Kings 3:19-25 - Genocide
2 Kings 6:18 - Crime against Humanity
2 Kings 8:1 - Crime against Humanity
2 Kings 15:5 - Crime against Humanity
2 Kings 17:25-26 - Genocide
2 Kings 19:35 - Genocide
2 Kings 23:20 - Genocide
1 Chronicles 2:3 - 1st degree murder
1 Chronicles 13:9-10 - 1st degree murder
1 Chronicles 21:7 - Genocide
2 Chronicles 13:15-20 - Genocide
2 Chronicles 14:8-14 - Genocide
2 Chronicles 15:6 - Genocide
2 Chronicles 25:12 - Genocide
2 Chronicles 36:16-17 - Genocide
Job 1:19 - Crime against Humanity
Isaiah 37:36 - Genocide
Jeremiah 2:30 - Genocide
Jeremiah 4:25-26 - Genocide
Jeremiah 5:3 - Crime against Humanity
Jeremiah 28:16-16 - 1st degree murder
Jeremiah 33:5 - Genocide
Jeremiah 50:21 - Genocide
Jeremiah 50:27-30 - Genocide
Lamentations 1:15 - Genocide
Lamentations 4:10-11 - Crime against Humanity
Ezekiel 9:4-10 - Genocide
Ezekiel 22:31 - Genocide
Ezekiel 24: 15-18 - 1st degree murder
Amos 2:9 - Genocide
Amos 4:10 - Genocide
Obidiah 1:9 - Genocide
Nahum 1:5 - Crime against Humanity
Zepheniah 3:6 - Genocide
Luke 1:20 - Crime against Humanity
Acts 5:5 - 1st degree murder
Acts 5:10 - 1st degree murder
Acts 12:23 - 1st degree murder
Acts 13:8-11 - Crime against Humanity
Revelation 2:23 - Conspiricy to Genocide
Revelation 6:4 - Conspiricy to Genocide
Revelation 6:8 - Conspiricy to Genocide
Revelation 8:7-13 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 9:4-6 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 9:15-19 - Conspiricy to Genocide
Revelation 11:13 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 14:10-11 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 14:19 - Conspiricy to Genocide
Revelation 16:2 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 16:3 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 16:4 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 16:8 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 16:10 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 16:12 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 16:17 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 18:8 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 19:20 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 20:9-10 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
Revelation 20:15 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity
revelation 21:8 - Conspiricy of Crimes against Humanity

Cruelty to Animals
Genesis 6:7
Exodus 20:24
Exodus 29:11-37
Exodus 29:36-39
Leviticus Chapters 1 - 9
Leviticus 5:8-9
Leviticus 7:1-6
Leviticus 7:18-27
Leviticus 7:30-36
Leviticus 8:14-32
Leviticus 9:8-21
Leviticus 14:2-32
Leviticus 16:6-28
Leviticus 22:12-14, 18
Numbers 15:3
Numbers 15:13-14
Numbers 15:24
Numbers 18:17-19
Deuteronomy 21:1-8
Deuteronomy 28:31
Joshua 6:21
Joshua 8:31
Judges 14:5-8
Judges 15:4-8
1 Samuel 11:6-7
1 Samuel 15:2-3
1 Kings 8:5
1 Kings 8:63
Jeremiah 7:20
Jeremiah 50:27-30
Haggai 2:22
Zecheriah 12:4
Zechariah 14:15
Mathew 8:32
Mark 5:12-13
Luke 8:27-37
Hebrews 9:13-14, 22
Hebrews 12:20
Revelation 16:3

Hate Speech (each verse said 3 billion times)

Exodus 21:15
Exodus 21:24
Exodus 21:29
Exodus 22:18
Exodus 22:20
Exodus 22:24
Exodus 23:27
Exodus 30:21
Exodus 31:14
Exodus 35:2-3
Leviticus 10:6-9
Leviticus 18:25
Leviticus 20:2-5
Leviticus 20:9
Leviticus 20:10
Leviticus 20:11
Leviticus 20:12
Leviticus 20:13
Leviticus 20:14
Leviticus 20:15-16
Leviticus 20:27
Leviticus 21:9
Leviticus 23:29-30
Leviticus 24:14-23
Leviticus 26:7-8
Leviticus 26:16-39
Leviticus 27:28-29
Numbers 1:51
Numbers 3:10
Numbers 3:38
Numbers 4:15
Numbers 4:20
Numbers 14:12
Numbers 14:29
Numbers 18:3
Numbers 18:7
Numbers 18:22
Numbers 18:32
Numbers 19:1-22
Numbers 23:24
Numbers 24:8
Numbers 25:16-17
Numbers 35:33
Deuteronomy 6:15
Deuteronomy 7:4
Deuteronomy 7:10
Deuteronomy 9:3
Deuteronomy 12:27
Deuteronomy 13:1-5
Deuteronomy 13:6-10
Deuteronomy 13:12-16
Deuteronomy 17:2-7
Deuteronomy 17:12-13
Deuteronomy 18:20
Deuteronomy 19:11-13
Deuteronomy 19:18-21
Deuteronomy 20:13
Deuteronomy 20:16
Deuteronomy 21:18-21
Deuteronomy 21:22
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
Deuteronomy 22:22
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
Deuteronomy 28:18
Deuteronomy 28:20-22
Deuteronomy 28:27-28
Deuteronomy 28:36-40
Deuteronomy 28:41
Deuteronomy 28:48-49
Deuteronomy 28:50-52
Deuteronomy 28:53-55
Deuteronomy 28:56-57
Deuteronomy 28:68
Deuteronomy 29:20
Deuteronomy 30:7
Deuteronomy 32:21-26
Deuteronomy 32:35
Deuteronomy 32:39-43
Joshua 6:26
Joshua 7:15
Joshua 9:21-27
Joshua 10:19
Joshua 24:19-20
Judges 5:31
Judges 11:24
1 Samuel 2:10
1 Samuel 2:31-34
1 Samuel 11:2
1 Kings 15:29
1 Kings 16:4
2 Kings 9:10
2 Kings 9:37
2 Chronicles 15:13
2 Chronicles 21:14-19
Psalms 2:8
Psalms 50:22
Psalms 52:5-7
Psalms 59:8
Psalms 68:21
Psalms 110:6
Proverbs 13:24
Proverbs 19:18
Proverbs 20:30
Proverbs 22:15
Proverbs 23:13-14
Proverbs 26:3
Proverbs 29:15
Proverbs 29:19
Isaiah 8:9
Isaiah 9:19-20
Isaiah 11:4
Isaiah 13:6-9
Isaiah 13:15-18
Isaiah 14:21
Isaiah 19:2-4
Isaiah 34:2-3
Isaiah 34:5-8
Isaiah 42:13
Isaiah 47:13-14
Isaiah 49:26
Isaiah 62:2-6
Isaiah 66:16
Isaiah 66:24
Jeremiah 4:4
Jeremiah 4:6-7
Jeremiah 5:6
Jeremiah 5:15-17
Jeremiah 6:11-12
Jeremiah 6:21
Jeremiah 6:22-23
Jeremiah 7:20
Jeremiah 7:33
Jeremiah 8:2
Jeremiah 9:15-16
Jeremiah 9:21-22
Jeremiah 9:25-26
Jeremiah 11:11
Jeremiah 11:14
Jeremiah 11:22
Jeremiah 12:3
Jeremiah 12:12
Jeremiah 12:17
Jeremiah 13:13
Jeremiah 14:12
Jeremiah 14:15-16
Jeremiah 15:2-4
Jeremiah 15:7-9
Jeremiah 15:14
Jeremiah 16:3-7
Jeremiah 16:10-11
Jeremiah 17:28
Jeremiah 18:11
Jeremiah 18:21
Jeremiah 19:3
Jeremiah 19:7-9
Jeremiah 19:11-13
Jeremiah 21:4-6
Jeremiah 21:7
Jeremiah 21:9-13
Jeremiah 22:25-30
Jeremiah 24:10
Jeremiah 25:26
Jeremiah 25:31-33
Jeremiah 25:37-38
Jeremiah 27:8
Jeremiah 29:17-18
Jeremiah 29:21-22
Jeremiah 30:23
Jeremiah 34:17-20
Jeremiah 45:15-18
Jeremiah 44:6
Jeremiah 44:11-13
Jeremiah 45:5
Jeremiah 46:10
Jeremiah 47:2-4
Jeremiah 48:8
Jeremiah 48:10
Jeremiah 48:42-47
Jeremiah 49:2
Jeremiah 49:17
Jeremiah 49:37
Jeremiah 50:32
Jeremiah 50:37
Jeremiah 51:21
Jeremiah 51:39-40
Ezekiel 5:10
Ezekiel 5:11-17
Ezekiel 6:4-5
Ezekiel 6:7-14
Ezekiel 7:3-9
Ezekiel 7:13-28
Ezekiel 8:18
Ezekiel 14:8, 9, 15
Ezekiel 21:3-5
Ezekiel 21:8-17
Ezekiel 21:31-32
Ezekiel 20:20-22
Ezekiel 24:3-14
Ezekiel 25:7
Ezekiel 26:6
Ezekiel 26:7
Ezekiel 28:10
Ezekiel 28:22
Ezekiel 29:2-5
Ezekiel 29:11
Ezekiel 30:8-26
Ezekiel 32:3-6
Ezekiel 32:21-32
Ezekiel 33:27-29
Ezekiel 35:3-15
Ezekiel 38:21-23
Ezekiel 39:17-20
Hosea 5:14
Hosea 7:13
Hosea 7:16
Hosea 8:14
Hosea 9:11
Hosea 9:14
Hosea 9:16
Hosea 10:14
Hosea 12:14
Hosea 13:7-8
Hosea 13:16
Amos 1:4-2:2
Amos 2:3
Amos 5:3-6
Amos 7:1-2
Amos 7:4
Amos 7:9-11
Amos 8:3, 8, 10
Amos 9:1-4
Amos 9:8-10
Micah 3:2-3
Micah 5:6-15
Nahum 2:13
Nahum 3:3
Nahum 3:15
Nahum 3:19
Zepheniah 1:2-3
Zepheniah 1:17
Zepheniah 2:5
Zepheniah 2:9
Zepheniah 2:12
Zepheniah 3:8
Zechariah 11:6
Zechariah 11:9
Zechariah 11:17
Zechariah 12:4
Zechariah 13:3
Zechariah 14:2
Zechariah 14:12
Zechariah 14:13
Zechariah 14:18
Malachi 4:1
Malachi 4:3
Malachi 4:6
Mathew 3:10, 12
Mathew 5:17
Mathew 5:29-30
Mathew 7:13-14
Mathew 8:12
Mathew 10:14
Mathew 10:28
Mathew 11:20-24
Mathew 13:41-42,50
Mathew 15:4-7
Mathew 18:8-9
Mathew 24:37
Mathew 24:50-51
Mathew 25:30
Mathew 25:41
Mathew 25:46
Mark 3:29
Mark 6:11
Mark 7:9-13
Mark 9:43-49
Mark 16:16
Luke 3:9
Luke 3:17
Luke 10:10-15
Luke 12:5
Luke 12:46-47
Luke 19:27
John 5:14
John 15:6
Acts 3:23
Romans 1:31-32
Epheisans 1:4-5, 11
2 Thessalonians 1:7-9
2 Thessalonians 2:8
2 Thessalonians 2:11-12
Hebrews 10:28-29
James 2:13
1 Peter 4:19
2 Peter 3:7
Jude 1:4
Jude 1:5

Pornography (each verse said 3 billion times)
Genesis 4:1
Genesis 4:14
Genesis 4:25
Genesis 6:4
Genesis 9:20-25
Genesis 12:15
Genesis 16:1-4
Genesis 17:10-11, 23-24
Genesis 19:8
Genesis 19:30-38
Genesis 21:1-2
Genesis 24:2,9
Genesis 24:16
Genesis 26:8
Genesis 29:21-30
Genesis 30:1-4
Genesis 30:15-16
Genesis 34:1-31
Genesis 35:22
Genesis 38:2-4
Genesis 38:8-10
Genesis 38:13-18
Genesis 38:24
Genesis 39:7-18
Genesis 49:4
Exodus 4:24
Exodus 19:15
Exodus 20:26
Exodus 22:19
Exodus 32:1-35
Exodus 34:16
Leviticus 15:2-15
Leviticus 15:16-18, 32
Leviticus 18:6-18, 20
Leviticus 18:19
Leviticus 18:23
Leviticus 20:5
Leviticus 20:6
Leviticus 20:14
Leviticus 20:15
Leviticus 20:17. 19-21
Leviticus 21:15
Leviticus 21:20
Leviticus 22:3-5
Deuteronomy 21:11-14
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
Deuteronomy 22:22
Deuteronomy 22:23-24
Deuteronomy 22:28
Deuteronomy 22:29
Deuteronomy 23:1
Deuteronomy 23:10
Deuteronomy 25:5-10
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
Deuteronomy 27:20
Deuteronomy 27:21
Deuteronomy 27:22
Deuteronomy 27:23
Deuteronomy 28:30
Joshua 2:1
Joshua 5:2-3
Judges 5:30
Judges 14:1-3
Judges 16:1
Judges 19:22-30
Ruth 3:3-4
Ruth 3:6-9
Ruth 3:11-14
Ruth 4:13
1 Samuel 1:19-20
1 Samuel 2:21
1 Samuel 2:22
1 Samuel 18:25-27
1 Samuel 19:24
1 Samuel 21:4-5
2 Samuel 3:14
2 Samuel 6:14, 20-22
2 Samuel 11:2-5
2 Samuel 12:11-12
2 Samuel 12:24
2 Samuel 16:21-22
2 Samuel 20:3
1 Kings 1:1-4
1 Kings 11:1-3
1 Chronicles 9:4
Esther 2:2-4
Esther 2:8-9, 12-17
Esther 2:9-12
Proverbs 5:18
Proverbs 7:18
Proverbs 20:27
Song of Solomon 1:2
Song of Solomon 1:13
Song of Solomon 2:3
Song of Solomon 2:6
Song of Solomon 3:4-5
Song of Solomon 4:5
Song of Solomon 5:4
Song of Solomon 5:5-6
Song of Solomon 7:1-13
Song of Solomon 7:6-8
Song of Solomon 7:12
Song of Solomon 8:3
Song of Solomon 8:8-10
Isaiah 3:16-17
Isaiah 8:3
Isaiah 20:2-5
Isaiah 23:17-18
Isaiah 32:6
Jeremiah 3:1
Jeremiah 3:2
Jeremiah 3:6
Jeremiah 3:9
Jeremiah 3:13
Jeremiah 5:8
Jeremiah 13:26-27
Lamentations 1:8-10
Lamentations 1:10
Ezekiel 16:6-41
Ezekiel 16:26
Ezekiel 22:1-16
Ezekiel 23:1-49
Ezekiel 23:20
Ezekiel 29:7-9
Hosea 2:2-3
Hosea 2:10
Hosea 3:1
Hosea 9:1
Amos 2:7
Amos 2:16
Nahum 3:4-6
Matthew 19:12
Mark 14:51-52
Romans 1:26-28
1 Corinthians 5:1-5
1 Corinthians 6:15-16
1 Corinthians 7:5
1 Corinthians 7:29
1 Thessalonians 4:4
Revelation 2:20
Revelation 2:22
Revelation 14:8
Revelation 16:15
Revelation 17:1-16
Revelation 18:3
Revelation 18:9

If found guilty of these crimes, Jahweh will be subject to imprisonment for
the life span of ninety nine universes.

The prosecution would like to thank http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com for
its excellent research of the defendant.

[Secular Elation]

Hehe, I looked up some of those verses in a copy of the Bible that I have (my sister gave it to me, I had no choice but to accept if I was to avoid upsetting her), and I would indeed have to say that the different charges brought by the verses are indeed accurate.

[Groovy Cosmic Monkey]

If it please the Court, my name is Groovy Cosmic Monkey and I appear as Senior Counsel for the defendant. With respect, Your Honour, the "courts of Humanity" have no jurisdiction to try the named defendant.

[LogicMage]

Seeing as I am the Judge in this case(I have been working on it with Gothic)

Motion to dismiss denied. God, as a ruler, is to be held accountable for his crimes against those he rules.

[Groovy Cosmic Monkey]

Originally posted by LogicMage
Seeing as I am the Judge in this case(I have been working on it with Gothic)

Motion to dismiss denied. God, as a ruler, is to be held accountable for his crimes against those he rules.

Would the Court kindly bring to my attention any Constitutional provisions, legislation, or precedents that indicate this Court has jurisdiction to "hold God accountable" for his actions? :D

[LogicMage]

Would the principle of accountability ring a bell?

Any ruler, has a responsibilty to those he/she/it rules. Therefore, they must be held accountable to aforsaid subjects, or they lose their right to rule.

(essentially this is not a US court. It is a court of humanity...and God has commited many, many crimes, and jurisdiction is not an issue)

[Dr Rick]

The defendant will enter a plea of "not guilty" by reason of insanity.

[The Other Michael]

This looks more appropriate for GRD.

Michael
MF&P Moderator (Maximus)

[Godless Dave]

I move that all charges be dismissed on the grounds the named defendant does not exist.

[LogicMage]

*cracks up laughing*

Motion denied, this trial is taking lace under suspension of disbelief*laughs some more*

[Biff the unclean]

Originally posted by Godless Dave
I move that all charges be dismissed on the grounds the named defendant does not exist.
I recognized him from the composite sketches made by Jack Chick. Who else has a big nothing where their head should be?

[Dr Rick]

http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/666.jpg

"Yes, yes, counselor; that's the man. I'd recognize him anywhere, and He tried that same joke on me..."

[braces_for_impact]

<Busts doors to courtroom open with a loud bang>

"Your honor, I have further evidence. Apparently this 'bible' is not the only journal this Jehova kept. I have several books here with further misdeeds, murder, and injustice perpetrated by the defendant!"

<Drops Jewish and Muslim scriptures all over the floor in front of bench>

"I would like to label these exibits b through xxxvvviii please."

[Mageth]

I move that all charges be dismissed on the grounds the named defendant does not exist.

If the named defendant does not appear or cannot be apprehended, he will be tried in absentia.

(Does the earth have an extradition agreement with Heaven?)

[Nowhere357]

This isn't a kangaroo court, is it? :)

[Dr Rick]

http://www.mgm.com/legallyblonde/dvd/images/dvd_04.jpg

[Biff the unclean]

Omnipresent hey?! Then where were you on the night of February the 12th?

[Mageth]

GOD: "I don't remember."

And omniscient as well? We won't accept "I don't remember" as an answer!

[LogicMage]

This court will accept this new evidence....

*looks around to see kangaroos everywhere*

[winstonjen]

If it please the court, I propose that if found guilty, Yahweh resurrects all the innocents he slaughtered through the ages. As the victims and afflicted, they should be the judges and administrators of punishment.

[Pyrrho]

Originally posted by Dr Rick
The defendant will enter a plea of "not guilty" by reason of insanity.

Indeed, there is substantial evidence for that claim:

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/injustices.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/absurdities.htm

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/intolerance.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/prophecy.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/science.html

Read the materials at the above links, and you'll see plenty of evidence of insanity. No sane individual would say all of that under the circumstances supposed in the Bible.

[Kthulhu]

Originally posted by Groovy Cosmic Monkey
If it please the Court, my name is Groovy Cosmic Monkey and I appear as Senior Counsel for the defendant. With respect, Your Honour, the "courts of Humanity" have no jurisdiction to try the named defendant.

Originally posted by Groovy Cosmic Monkey
Would the Court kindly bring to my attention any Constitutional provisions, legislation, or precedents that indicate this Court has jurisdiction to "hold God accountable" for his actions?

Precedence has been set. If all else fails we can just move the trial to Belgium (http://search.csmonitor.com/durable/2001/06/11/text/p1s3.html?related)

~The Thing That Should Not Be

[LogicMage]

Originally posted by winstonjen
If it please the court, I propose that if found guilty, Yahweh resurrects all the innocents he slaughtered through the ages. As the victims and afflicted, they should be the judges and administrators of punishment.

This would be acceptable to this court

[LogicMage]

Originally posted by Pyrrho
Indeed, there is substantial evidence for that claim:

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/injustices.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/absurdities.htm

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/intolerance.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/prophecy.html

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/science.html

Read the materials at the above links, and you'll see plenty of evidence of insanity. No sane individual would say all of that under the circumstances supposed in the Bible.

Correct, but the legal definition of insanity is such that, one must only know right from wrong to be considered sane. The defendant, clearly knows the difference...but simply doesnt care.

[paul30]

News Flash!

Yahweh has just announced he is cutting off military aid to all countries that recognize this court--which He emphatically does NOT recognize. Nor is there any extradition treaty with Heaven.

Further, Yahweh has submitted several notarized statements from physicians saying (a) He is too ill to stand trial and (b) He is mentally incompetent to stand trial.

In addition, Yahweh further alleges that He was only following orders. He had set up immutable natural laws at the Beginning which even He could not deflect.

Last, the Defendant claims He was under undue mental and spiritual stress from a diet consisting entirely of Twinkies and Coke.

Reporting live from the Pearly Gates, this is Paul30.

:D

[LogicMage]

Originally posted by paul30
News Flash!

Yahweh has just announced he is cutting off military aid to all countries that recognize this court--which He emphatically does NOT recognize. Nor is there any extradition treaty with Heaven.

Further, Yahweh has submitted several notarized statements from physicians saying (a) He is too ill to stand trial and (b) He is mentally incompetent to stand trial.

In addition, Yahweh further alleges that He was only following orders. He had set up immutable natural laws at the Beginning which even He could not deflect.

Last, the Defendant claims He was under undue mental and spiritual stress from a diet consisting entirely of Twinkies and Coke.

Reporting live from the Pearly Gates, this is Paul30.

:D

So he is cutting off militay aid to all countries?

He is an omnipotent being, he is not to ill to stand trial. He could. Nor is he incompetant to stand trial. Scizophrenics are competant to stand trial...so is God.

And he violated thos natural laws o a regular basis, motion for dismissal denied

[Mageth]

The defendant's lawyers have filed a new motion for dismissal, as trying the defendant on these charges would be subjecting him to double jeopardy. He's already been executed once, after all.

[winstonjen]

Originally posted by Mageth
The defendant's lawyers have filed a new motion for dismissal, as trying the defendant on these charges would be subjecting him to double jeopardy. He's already been executed once, after all.

DENIED! He was supposedly 'innocent', after all, and avoided any 'justice' by coming back to life. :D

[LogicMage]

He was not tried for these same crimes. Motion to dismiss denied.

[winstonjen]

Since there is so much evidence against the defendant, and the special nature of the court, I propose a 'guilty until proven innocent' stance in this case.

[LogicMage]

No, that would make us as twisted as he is. Motion considered...motion denied

[winstonjen]

As an ironic punishment, how about forcing him to watch how creation would turn out if a KIND god guided it?

[Biff the unclean]

Sheeeesh, to hear you guys go on you would think the defendant invented death itself......


oh......


never mind

[bocajeff]

The defendant will enter a plea of not guilty by reason of out of context.

His appeal of course will use the unkown purpose defense.

[Daggah]

Originally posted by Groovy Cosmic Monkey
Would the Court kindly bring to my attention any Constitutional provisions, legislation, or precedents that indicate this Court has jurisdiction to "hold God accountable" for his actions? :D

Would you care to tell me why it's okay for a god to murder, maim, rape, and pillage, but not okay for a man?

[Nowhere357]

If it please the court, I'm concerned about safety measures at this trial.
The defendant is apparently capaable of tremendously violent acts.
In addition, there are rumors the defendant can unleash the hounds of Hell. Or something.

Because the existence of the supernatural is a foregone conclusion for this trial to take place, perhaps it would be prudent to enlist the proper Wiccan spells and Buddhist chants to ward off evil. Or something.

[winstonjen]

Originally posted by Nowhere357

Because the existence of the supernatural is a foregone conclusion for this trial to take place, perhaps it would be prudent to enlist the proper Wiccan spells and Buddhist chants to ward off evil. Or something.

Some iron chariots should do, but then again, the accused is a great deceiver, so he may be getting our hopes up.

[LogicMage]

We have enlisted the help of the Bible's real hero(lucifer) to help in containment of the rampant deity. They will be armed with iron chariots.

[AJ113]

As a hitherto lurker in this thread, and therefore a valid member of the jury, may I suggest that in view of the overwhelming evidence thus far presented in favour of the prosecution, we cut to the chase, find the fucker guilty on all charges and consequently all go out and get drunk?

Hell I'll even buy god a drink as long as it's his last request.

[winstonjen]

Originally posted by AJ113
Hell I'll even buy god a drink as long as it's his last request.

I'll even spike the drink with the 'sin gene'. ;)

[Nowhere357]

First, lets hear from the prosecution witnesses - starting with the 100 billion souls in Hell! :o

[Family Man]

For the first witnesses, the prosecution ought to call Adam and Eve. They can testify to the deception perpetrated on them by the snake God planted in the garden, and of God's over-the-top reaction over the mere eating of an apple.

[Nowhere357]

<The spectators and participants draw back in fear, as BEEZLEBUB strides into the courtroom. Taking a seat in the witness chariot, the Beast glares directly at the judge...>

BEEZLEBUB: I am the source of all Evil in your world! The defendant is INNOCENT! You have the wrong supernatural entity on trial here!

If it please the court, I propose that if found guilty, Yahweh resurrects all the innocents he slaughtered through the ages.
BEEZLEBUB: I'll be damned first! A cold day in Hell! Those souls belong to me now! God has no power over my Kingdom (haven't you "omnipotent God" fans figured that out yet?) and neither do you!

<The Devil disappears in flash of mystical flames and sulfurus clouds as the jury sits in stunned silence...>

Motion to Dismiss filed, based on the confession of the actual criminal.

[NonHomogenized]

Objection. Confessor is creation of defendant. All responsibility for his actions is, by definition, on the shoulders of the omni-max being which created him. I move that his testimony be placed on the record, as testimony against the defendant.

[winstonjen]

The defendant has informed me that he would like to be represented by OJ Simpson's lawyer, in conjunction with Magus55 and the Iraqi Information Minister.

[Family Man]

The Iraqi Information Minister politely declines the post, on the grounds that there are some positions that are too absurd for even him to defend.

[winstonjen]

This might make interesting debate material for the debate forum. I'd like to see any theist arguments. :D

Also interesting is why Magus and Esther have not posted in this thread.

[EstherRose]

I only just read it. Kinda have to read a thread before I can post on it. Or do you think I have nothing better to do than sit around and wait for a new thread to read?

The "courts of Humanity" have no jurisdiction to try the named defendant.

Using humanity to judge God?

A kangaroo court and a clear mockery.

It would be pointless for me to post anything else here.
:rolleyes:

[winstonjen]

Originally posted by EstherRose
Using humanity to judge God?

A kangaroo court and a clear mockery.

It would be pointless for me to post anything else here.
:rolleyes:

Sorry, didn't realise you didn't read the thread yet. Anyway, these statements seem to state that no one can judge god because he is above his own law. :rolleyes: But didn't you judge him and his character (and his reputed ability to punish) when you chose to worship him?

Back to the trial - without a lawyer for the defendant, I propose that the prosecution wins by default.

[Ronin]

It would be pointless for me to post anything else here.

Pointless only due to the blatant fact that no one can reconcile the common notion of love and kindness with the representation of the Abrahamic deity(s).

Hardly any christian I've known has even tried, EstherRose...your avoidance of the issue speaks volumes.

[GunnerJ]

Using humanity to judge God?

A kangaroo court and a clear mockery.

It would be pointless for me to post anything else here.

Hidden in what you call a joke is a very sharp point: if God is not answerable to his own laws, then they are not objective morals, and are only the subjective whims of a diety who enforces his opinion through tyranny. In effect, when Christians crow about how atheists have no absolute morals, they forget that neither do they: thier morality is only backed up by a bully of a god who doesn't play by his own rules: might makes right. If you buy into the Christian worldview, this should be a very shocking implication.

[Defiant Heretic]

Back to the trial - without a lawyer for the defendant, I propose that the prosecution wins by default.For one thing, the defendant has a lawyer, Groovy Cosmic Monkey. Besides, since when is a trial forfeit if the defendant decides to represent himself?
Regardless, I'm going to play devil's advoc-wait, that's not right. Deity's advocate? Defendant's ad...I'm going to take the bad guy's side for awhile to be sure the arguments used against him are sound. Ya, that's it.

Objection. Confessor is creation of defendant. All responsibility for his actions is, by definition, on the shoulders of the omni-max being which created him. I move that his testimony be placed on the record, as testimony against the defendant.Unless it can be demonstrated that the confessor was created specifically to perform said actions, the most the accused is guilty of is negligence.

[Nialler]

I would like to bring to the judge's attention the fact that the defendant(s) have not been properly identified in the charge sgeet. We see in the dock three entities, not all of whom can be proven to be guilty of all of the charges.

I propose a motion to dismiss the charges.

Failing that, I would like to propose an alternative motion to dismiss since my client(s) appears to have been suffering multiple personality disorder for a considerable amount of time.

[winstonjen]

Originally posted by Defiant Heretic
Unless it can be demonstrated that the confessor was created specifically to perform said actions, the most the accused is guilty of is negligence.

Omniscience means that they were created for those purposes, with the full knowledge of them. Guilty as charged!

[Biff the unclean]

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole true and nothing but the truth so help you G….hmmm we seem to have a procedural problem here. He's swearing to himself with his hand on exhibit 1

[diana]

winstonjen quoth
The defendant has informed me that he would like to be represented by OJ Simpson's lawyer, in conjunction with Magus55 and the Iraqi Information Minister.

[Johnny Cochran]

I accept. The defendant is innocent of all charges against him. He was framed by a backward and racist cult.

All supposed "evidence" against him is hearsay. He is being blamed for the myriad crimes of the bigoted and hateful men, who will stop at nothing to have their way, when in fact there is not a scrap of evidence to suggest that he was even in the area! Or that he even exists, but let's stay focused.

The charges are shit
You must acquit.

[/JC]

d

[Asha'man]

Originally posted by diana
[Johnny Cochran]...[/JC]

I sure hope he doesn't use the Chewbacca defense.....

[Annabel Lee]

Q: "You're dead, this is the afterlife -- and I'm God"

Picard: "Q, you are not God."

Q: "Blasphemy!"

[RevDahlia]

This is the funniest thing ever.

[keyser_soze]

Motion for the defense must be reviewed, as it was prematurely denied the first time: God is obviously not liable for satans works, as he is not omnimax. There is clear proof of this from exhibit 1. Not only did he not know where adam and eve were hiding, he can be stopped merely by the presence of iron.

We wish to humbly resubmit this motion for acquittal to the bench.


[waits patiently].

[Biff the unclean]

Denied…add charges of fraud, violation of truth in advertising and misrepresentation of services offered to the list of crimes defendant is accused of.

[JaeIsGod]

Haha , you guys crack me up!

[Entropic_Gnosis]

If it so please the court, I wish to present some information, without bias. I have uncovered some contradictory evidence to the whereabouts and nature of said diety at the time these actions were commited. *presenst the Gnostic texts* Though i am aware that these texts were declaired as heresy they offer a vastly altered view of the defendant. I propose that these texts show that the god in question was, in fact, not omni-max at the time of these atrocities nor has he become so in the intervening years. It is therfore that i humbly suggest that the all objections to the trying of this so called god on the basis of either "unknown purpose" or "infitine divine wisdom" be discarded. Furthermore, if this evidence does indeed prove to be valid then it is well within our rights, as finite beings, to try another finite being. That is all your honor.

[keyser_soze]

Originally posted by Biff the unclean
Denied…add charges of fraud, violation of truth in advertising and misrepresentation of services offered to the list of crimes defendant is accused of.

I must protest, for the record, the heavy handed manner in which the judge is overseeing this trial. I humbly submit that the judge should recuse himself from the bench in favour of a more judicially minded represenative.

I think we should allow the defendant to judge his own behaviour.. and also provide appropriate punishment. He seems to be well versed in this area.:D

[Biff the unclean]

*present the Gnostic texts*
Aha!!! So he changed his alibi while under oath, hey?! Can't keep his story straight. Add perjury to the ever growing list of offences.

[Defiant Heretic]

But if it's demonstrated that he is not omnimax, then he cannot be blamed for the actions of Satan.

Perhaps this court should begin focusing on specific examples from exhibit A, specifically crimes that don't rely on omnimax abilities to commit?

[Biff the unclean]

But if it's demonstrated that he is not omnimax, then he cannot be blamed for the actions of Satan.

Evidence 1:12, a wire tap from the Job file on which can be heard the defendant hiring Satan, a known criminal, to murder Mrs. Job, all the little Jobs and the employees of Job Inc.

And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.

[Entropic_Gnosis]

The evidence points to those events in which we know this so called "god" did hire the known criminal Satan to do his dirty work for him. While this further goes to prove his nature as not omnimax it also shows that in many cases he is responsible for the actions of Satan. Much of these charges, as my estemed coleage Difiant Heretic has suggested, do not depend upon the diety being omnimax and indeed more sense can be made of them if we accept the finite nature of the this "god." I also would like to second the motion that a charge of perjery be added for each case, implied or directly stated, in which the defentant claimed to be omnimax.

[Solsticin]

Suddenly a loud booming voice fills the court room,

"I AM ABOVE THE LAW!!!"



*think Southpark here guys ;) *

[atheist_in_foxhole]

I think the court should be aware that the defendant was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (http://www.theonion.com/onion3716/god_diagnosed_bipolar.html) in May of 2001.

[Defiant Heretic]

But, as it's been pointed out before, the legal definition of insanity is the inability to tell right from wrong, not mental stability. So bipolar disorder isn't a valid defense.

Besides, do courts of humanity go by the "Not guilty by reason of insanity" rule, or the "Guilty but mentally ill" one?

(I'm not a lawyer, but I yell obscenities at the ones on TV. ;))

[keyser_soze]

Originally posted by Defiant Heretic
But, as it's been pointed out before, the legal definition of insanity is the inability to tell right from wrong, not mental stability. So bipolar disorder isn't a valid defense.

Besides, do courts of humanity go by the "Not guilty by reason of insanity" rule, or the "Guilty but mentally ill" one?

(I'm not a lawyer, but I yell obscenities at the ones on TV. ;))

Personally, I've never understood the "not guilty by reason of defect" thing. Killing people and cutting off their heads, and shit like that...hardly strikes me as sane in the first place! Why does using the fact that you're not exactly running on a full tank get you more than a big "duh" from the court?

[Biff the unclean]

Originally posted by keyser_soze
Why does using the fact that you're not exactly running on a full tank get you more than a big "duh" from the court?

You mean like if you didn't know the difference between good & evil because of a lack of fruit in your diet? ;)

[Jobar]

If it please the court, I should like to enter this transcript of proceedings against the defendant(s) in the Court of the Invisible Pink Inquisition; (http://pub90.ezboard.com/finstituteforunicornresearchfrm12.showMessageRange?topicID=6.topic&start=1&stop=20) due to the fact that the defendant could not be produced in our court (owing to his nonexistence) the trial was given over to charges against two of his henchmen, to wit, one HelenSL, and one Theodelite. The sentencing of these two miscreants may be found here. (http://pub90.ezboard.com/finstituteforunicornresearchfrm12.showMessageRange?topicID=22.topic&start=1&stop=20)

The court may also find useful these media interviews: one with the defendant in his aspect of Jehovah (http://www.webspawner.com/users/intjehovah/), one with Jesus (http://www.webspawner.com/users/intjesus/), and also one with Satan, AKA Lucifer, AKA the Prince of Darkness. (http://www.webspawner.com/users/intsatan/)

In particular, I urge the court to pay special attention to the last of these; it would seem from that interview that Satan, far from being the author of all the evil of which the defendant here accuses him, is at worst a dupe, and a tool of the defendant. But the final decision belongs, of course, to this court.

If, by some mischance, the defendant is not found guilty, I, as an agent of the Invisible Pink Inquisition, formally request that custody of the defendant be turned over to me, so that he may be tried on the previously extant and still outstanding charges against him, in the Court of the Invisible Pink Inquisition, and before our Lady, the Invisible Pink Unicorn (PBUHHH).

Thank you, your Honor.

[Fred Flintstonensis]

Your Honor,

My name is Fred Flintstonensis with the ACLU. Despite the fact that we have had a adversarial relationship with the defendant for the entirety of our existence, we cannot stand by and allow someone be charged with something which simply isn't a crime. Our attorneys shall represent the defendant but only with regard to this specific charge. If it would please the court, we would like to submit a moton to dismiss the charge of possession and distribution of pornography. This is a free speech issue, your honor.

[keyser_soze]

Originally posted by Fred Flintstonensis
Your Honor,

My name is Fred Flintstonensis with the ACLU. Despite the fact that we have had a adversarial relationship with the defendant for the entirety of our existence, we cannot stand by and allow someone be charged with something which simply isn't a crime. Our attorneys shall represent the defendant but only with regard to this specific charge. If it would please the court, we would like to submit a moton to dismiss the charge of possession and distribution of pornography. This is a free speech issue, your honor.

Since the prosecution is not on this one..

"Objection! Goes to credibility of both the defendant, and gives insight into exhibit 1!"

[Nowhere357]

Defendant petitions for dismissal, due to double jeopardy, based on the transcripts submitted by Keyser_soze.

Failing this, defendant petitions for mistrial, due to judicial misconduct. The judge LogicMage has not made an appearance here since early on page 2!

[Defiant Heretic]

Maybe it's a panel of judges. That one's just being quiet.

[keyser_soze]

Originally posted by Nowhere357
Defendant petitions for dismissal, due to double jeopardy, based on the transcripts submitted by Keyser_soze.

Failing this, defendant petitions for mistrial, due to judicial misconduct. The judge LogicMage has not made an appearance here since early on page 2!

Need we get into an indepth review of just how long a day "could" be? Considering the defendant's supposed nature, I think we should be patient.

[keyser_soze]

Due to the judges recusion from the case, and the court's lack of enthusiasm for the case, I move for mistrial. There has got to be some kind of weird time space distortion, when an atheist is getting god off the hook.:cool:

[Gothic_J]

-bumps just cuz he likes this thread-

I think this trial did better then the others i posted :D

[Nowhere357]

Coming from the Covering up Women (http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=58368&perpage=25&pagenumber=24) thread, I suspect that the defendant has been continuing his mischief under the alias "Allah".

Move for injunction against any and all divine interference on the mortal plane, until such time as this trial is completed.

[winstonjen]

Originally posted by Nowhere357
Coming from the Covering up Women (http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=58368&perpage=25&pagenumber=24) thread, I suspect that the defendant has been continuing his mischief under the alias "Allah".

Move for injunction against any and all divine interference on the mortal plane, until such time as this trial is completed.

I propose a clone of the defendant is created to keep the evil deity under control.

[keyser_soze]

Any chance we can get a new trial moving on this one. There was an assurance of a speedy trial, but we need a new judge, prosecution, and defense....I hazard to guess that I couldn't be the judge, due to a prior relationship with the accused, but I'd be happy to co-counsel.

[Family Man]

My understanding is that the trial was cancelled after it was determined that the defendant did not in fact exist.

[keyser_soze]

Originally posted by Family Man
My understanding is that the trial was cancelled after it was determined that the defendant did not in fact exist.

Actually, I think we pre-supposed existance for the exercise.