Would I Be an Atheist If My Life Sucked?

[shome42]

I guess this issue applies to the younger atheists out there who've had pretty good lives thus far.

I'm a recent atheist "convert," 21 years old and admittedly I've had a pretty easy life.

I've read that throughout history, during the periods in which life was the hardest, religion seemed to flourish the most. That being the case, I can't help but wonder if I'm only an atheist because my life lacks hardship.

I mean, can I really fault someone who seeks refuge in "God" when every day from him/her is like a prison sentance? (That would include A LOT of the world)

This doubt, that I'm only atheist because my life is easy, is a large factor in my not coming out. I always worry that if my life hits a rough patch, I'll go back to theism for that warm fuzzy feeling. Who knows if my reason will overcome my need for comfort...I suppose only time will tell.

Anyone else ever wonder about this?

[Autonemesis]

Originally posted by shome42
I always worry that if my life hits a rough patch, I'll go back to theism for that warm fuzzy feeling.

But did you ever get that warm fuzzy feeling? I never did. Instead, I got that uncomfortable, creepy feeling. Have you ever felt that?

[shome42]

Originally posted by Autonemesis
But did you ever get that warm fuzzy feeling? I never did. Instead, I got that uncomfortable, creepy feeling. Have you ever felt that?

Yes, on precisely 2 occassions I got that "warm fuzzy feeling."

One was at a time in my life when I was really depressed and lost, and the T.V. preacher came on saying all kinds of comforting stuff. I actually broke down and cried I was so happy.

The second time was when I went to the first non-Catholic service I'd ever attended. I was so overwhelmed with the genuine sense of community and good-will, that I was taken aback.

However, it's worth nothing that those were literally the only 2 times in about 18 years. Every other time I thought, "What the hell are these people getting out of this? Cus I sure as hell feel like I'm wasting my time."

[FoE]

The closest i came to getting warm fuzzy feeling in church was when a cute girl was sitting next to me and i could see down her shirt.

[fando]

You're not going to revert. When we humans despair, we long for familiar comforts. In your case it's religion. In my case, as a never-been theist, I simply fancy a load from saved game feature in life and imagine what it would be like if I did things over again. (My fondest memories growing up were spending Saturdays playing computer/console games.) Will you go back simply because you remember life was more fuzzy-warm and simple when you believed in Santa Claus and that girls had cooties?

[SiliconWolf]

Originally posted by fando
I simply fancy a load from saved game feature in life and imagine what it would be like if I did things over again.

Woohoo! :cool:

I always wanted to be able to do the same thing. Where's a specialist in temporal relatastics when you need one?

For the record, I went through a year at a nightmare job, followed by six months of slightly more pleasant voluntary unemployment (I quit the place like a bad habit) and I never once thought of going back to church.

Maybe if you found something else that gives you the warm fuzzies, you will be able to separate that feeling from the actual theology (or lack thereof). Keep your mind open, because you can get that feeling from lots of things.

[faust]

A: No.

My life was pretty great at 21, now a scant 4 years later i must say it's pretty god damned shitty. After suffering years of depression, and loneliness my life is still a sinking cesspool of never ending despair. I used to be an atheist when i was happy, and now i'm an atheist when i'm not. Maybe i never had that warm fuzzy feeling, just the creepiness. Who knows? I certainly got the nice feelings from the hot girl who's shirt was a bit open :)

Unless you literally lose your damned mind you probably won't go back. I didn't.

[Heathen]

I'd still be an atheist if my life was horrible; in fact, it works the opposite way for me. Depression is just a reminder that God doesn't exist - I just think how horrible God must be if he lets people suffer so much. What kind of a loving god would do that? Of course the Christians would come back with "well, he's testing you" and things like that.. :rolleyes:

[Defiant Heretic]

I had the warm fuzzy feeling back when I was a Catholic, when I was attending mass, and now, when I listen to the guitar solo in Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb".

[Shadowy Man]

Originally posted by shome42

I mean, can I really fault someone who seeks refuge in "God" when every day from him/her is like a prison sentance?

No you can't. However, you can fault them when they insist that their fantasy is real and demand that legislation be made based upon it.

[callmejay]

You could always turn to alcohol or drugs instead of religion. :D

[AmbiguousUbiquity]

Originally posted by Defiant Heretic
I had the warm fuzzy feeling back when I was a Catholic, when I was attending mass, and now, when I listen to the guitar solo in Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb".

The room wouldn't happen to be all smoky when you listened to it, would it? ;)

And if you like THAT guitar solo, I highly recommend "Shine ON YOu Crazy Diamond Part I-XII.

Lauren

[Yangja Isuko]

I can safely say that my life has sucked more than that of most people. I'm not going to bore you with my life's history, but i suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder along with strong Sociopathic tendencies (inability to feel remorse), and well....generally, life sucks.

I'm still an atheist though. Why? because while my emotional life may have been in utter chaos for as long as i can remember, my rational side has not been. When thinking about the abstract, philosophical concepts in life, emotion does not come in play.

i've been an atheist for as long as i can remember.

[Albion]

Sometimes hardships tend to have the opposite effect - they make people think that this all-loving omnipotent God couldn't possibly exist if he lets such bad things happen. If you don't believe in God during times when you might be expected to be thankful for all the blessings bestowed on you, you might not find that God is such an attraction when things get tough.

[captainpabst]

and now, (when) I listen to the guitar solo in Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb".


You could always turn to alcohol or drugs instead of religion.

Amen.

[openeyes]

I think being an atheist can make the "sucky" times of life shorter, because you're faced with finding real solutions to your problems. You find the real places to get the "warm fuzzies" and perhaps accept that you may have to get along without them for awhile sometimes. Such is life!

[villainess]

I ask myself the same question sometimes, though not in the same context.

As I mentioned in the life stories thread, my parents are wonderful, kind people who never forced religion on me.

What if they weren't? If my parents had been strongly religious, would I have been able to overcome the childhood conditioning? If they'd been secular but abusive, would some cult or congregation have fed on my vulnerability and gotten to me? I like to think that I'm 'naturally skeptical' now, but is that because of a lifetime of practice that I simply wouldn't have gotten if instead of answering my questions and encouraging my interest in science, my parents had told me to be quiet and plopped me down in front of the 700 Club or the 80s equivalent of Jon Edwards on the tube?

Many of the atheists on here have overcome obstacles I'm not sure I would have been able to overcome in the first place, to get to a point where I had to worry about backsliding. If I may descend into the warm-n-fuzzy side for a moment, I am filled with admiration for that.

the.villainess

[MrFurious76]

I always considered a happy, successful atheist to be direct proof that most mainstream religions are full of crap. ;)

[Ape31]

Originally posted by Defiant Heretic
I had the warm fuzzy feeling back when I was a Catholic, when I was attending mass, and now, when I listen to the guitar solo in Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb".
...or the lyrics to "Wish You Were Here"

r.

[6748_smith_w]

My life sucks and has sucked for a long time now. If anything, it has made me a stronger person and made me realize that I can take it. No matter what. Without gods, superstitions, or hope for an afterlife in the magical sky kingdom.

[Bree]

I don't know if this is a sign of weakness, but whenever I'm extremely worried about something (for example, when my partner goes away on a trip) I always get the urge to pray for safety and security. I think it's just a reflex, because obviously I don't put much stock in prayer, but it always reminds me of why people are religious in the first place. It must be nice to think that a few whispered words at parting will keep a loved one safe from all harm.

[spacedOut]

Originally posted by shome42

This doubt, that I'm only atheist because my life is easy, is a large factor in my not coming out. I always worry that if my life hits a rough patch, I'll go back to theism for that warm fuzzy feeling. Who knows if my reason will overcome my need for comfort...I suppose only time will tell.

Anyone else ever wonder about this?

Shortly after I de-converted from Christianity I faced some potentially serious health problems and I popped back into church faster than spit. However, reflecting back on the event I realize I was seeking the comfort of my friends and the familiar "family" surroundings, not the intervention of an invisible being that I no longer believed in.

IMO, after you come to the logical conclusion that all the fantatic stories of the supernatural are just that - stories, I don't see how you could ever fool yourself into going back, no matter what the situation in your life. However, I don't believe abandoning your faith necessarily means abandoning the personal relationships that you may have originally formed under the context of that faith. Sure, some former associates may dismiss you as the "spawn of Satan", but I have found that my real friends still accept me regardless of my non-belief in a supernatural being.

Finally, I still attend church somewhat regularly. Not for the "worship" aspect :rolleyes: , but to socialize with people I genuinely enjoy being around.

[Barcode]

I find it far more empowering to rely upon *myself* when things are difficult. Encountering hardships don't make me suspect there isn't a God, or that he is evil for allowing such things to happen as certain religious people I know would like to say ... or claim I must be angry at God, or that it must be due to a negative experience.

Some people simply don't seem to be able to understand it's possible to disbelieve because the *facts* indicate that God being real is more than unlikely ...

So no, I've never felt the need to turn to something greater or become religious. Reality is more comforting and offers me greater strength than ridiculous superstitious mumbo jumbo and praying to thin air ...

[Bright Life]

Emphatically...NO

My entire chidhood was replete with abuses of all kinds and even though I was exposed to xianity quite heavily, I never looked to that "higher power" for help.

(they must not have been Real Christians TM )

I have had people tell me, however, that I'm not really an atheist, but simply "mad at god" for "testing" me. :banghead:

Ummm...well that's another post. ;)

[geniph]

When I've been in the worst depths of depressive episodes - and I'm a lifelong chronically suicidal depressive - I've often wished I could just take comfort in religiosity. "Let go and let doG" as it were. However, I can't. I'm just not made that way. I'd like to be able to just turn my problems over to invisible beings with magic powers, but since I can't wrap my mind around that concept, no dice.

Luckily, there's drugs.

[GypsyLife]

Originally posted by Bree
I don't know if this is a sign of weakness, but whenever I'm extremely worried about something (for example, when my partner goes away on a trip) I always get the urge to pray for safety and security. I think it's just a reflex, because obviously I don't put much stock in prayer, but it always reminds me of why people are religious in the first place. It must be nice to think that a few whispered words at parting will keep a loved one safe from all harm.

That's something I have trouble shaking, too. I don't think it helps that I was a somewhat morbid child, so growing up I always worried about my parents dying a million different ways, and while a quick prayer didn't stop the worrying, I felt like I'd done my part and it was out of my hands from there.

And since then I've gone through a lot more than some people, and not as much as other people.. life was good and bad as a xian and the same now, as an atheist. When things do suck, I feel better knowing that when those things happen, it's not because I slept in instead of going to church, or did something equally "bad" that I'm being punished for... Coping is much easier.

[orpheus last chant]

That's something I have trouble shaking, too. I don't think it helps that I was a somewhat morbid child, so growing up I always worried about my parents dying a million different ways, and while a quick prayer didn't stop the worrying, I felt like I'd done my part and it was out of my hands from there.


I had the same thing. I always ound it strange that from early childhood I though about death, ageing dieing, illness (i used to read my mom's medical books for fun!).

Sadly, my mild paranoia was made true. my dad got hepatis B, then cirosis, than died when i was 11.

Frankly, my childhood was the worst time of my life, and i barely remember anything. I somehow shut it out of my sistem.

And, yet. now i am an atheist.

I hate it especially when I hear the parable of the seeds. The ones who end up in a thorny bush and get smothered. And they tell me I let the troubles of teh wrold kill my faith!

I usually tell them something like: Care to get back in time and tell that 11 year old that god the allmighty couldn't have it any other way to test my faith, my mom's, or my dad's except by destroing me?

Even then I did not deconvert. I probably gave christianity so many compromises, and renounced my doubts, even for a shred of evidence.

So I had a hard time, and it had nothing to do with my deconversion. It was a rational choice.

[crisisGirl]

until very recently, my life sucked donkey balls, and i'm still an atheist. i've been an atheist for years, even through some horrible shit.
dear old dad had a hobby of beating the crap out of the kids and quoting bible verses. i was a theist until i was about 14. at that point, something snapped and i wasn't afraid of him anymore. within a year, i was an atheist. (i did have to do the exploration of world religions first ya know.)
mommy dearest was even sweeter, and also a fundy. (thankfully she hits like a girl). i've had her steal my shit, starve me, make sure i didn't have things like clean clothes and medical care, call me every name in the book and play every mind game she could come up with (and she can come up with a lot!). i've been an atheist on the streets when she kicked me out because she felt like it, and i've been an atheist in the psych wards when i faked a suicide attempt on the street because i had nowhere else to go.
i'm an atheist in the bible belt, and i've been an atheist for years with no friends or support whatsoever.
i've been an atheist through fundy smackdowns, attempts at faith healing, excruciating physical pain, major depression, psych wards (for major depression and a place to stay with a hot meal), tornadoes, and having a gun stuck in my face (once again by dear old dad).
i'm still an atheist through a good job, a nice apartment, pretty good physical and mental health, and a newly discovered infatuation with information technology.
when i was a theist, i heard about the "warm and fuzzy feeling" and tried to imitate it, but it just never worked for me. (the creepy, "what the hell is wrong with these ppl" feeling has happened often though!)

cG

[Jackalope]

Yeah, life truly sucks a lot of the time. Being a cripple sucks, after all. However, I find it easier to think it's just blind chance rather than to try and wrap my head around the idea that a loving god has a plan for me, and this is all for the best, really. See, just writing that down felt insane. How the hell do christians manage to convince themselves of shit like that? Though I've noticed that most of the people who try and tell me it's all part of God's Great Plan™ aren't doing any of the suffering.

I suppose the security blanket effect would be greater if I never studied social psych and learned how cults reinforce certain types of thinking. The few times I felt that warm fuzzy feeling, I can now look back at and identify what was really going on. No god needed to get that effect.

[Secular Elation]

Yes, quite frequently life does suck. But, I must say that, as an atheist, I am MUCH happier than if I were a theist. There is an inherent comfort in living an atheist life that I love. This feeling comes from the knowledge that 1) I'm a part of a species that, up to the modern age, has created many great things, with technology and what not--and all of this, without any god. 2) Existence seems to have much more value when there is no divine power behind it. We are not divine creations, we are a species that has endured millions of years of evolution, and look how far we have come. 3) The knowledge that there is no supernatural control over my life. No big guy on a throne in a sky, watching my every move. Knowing that there is no afterlife, that this is the only life we will have, makes it much more meaningful. It means we must enjoy our live while we have it, and learn as much as we can. Richard Dawkins once said, "We have been born, and we are going to die, but before we die, we have a chance to understand why we have even been born at all." There is an endless sense of wonder in the majestic vastness of our universe, and I look forward to new discoveries.

That paragraph didn't make much sense. I feel I haven't accurately described the source of my good nontheistic feelings. But, if ever there is something that gives me comfort, it is an atheistic life--hence, a secular elation. :)

[orpheus last chant]

What is strange is if I say I am happy and an atheist (which I am) I get the response:

Well, if your life sucked you'd be running to god for comfort./
You think you are happy, but you are not, somethign is missing isn' it?/ The devil gives you pleasure now, but wait till you die and BURN./

And if I say I am depressed and an atheist:

See, you reject god for testing you/your faith is weak/ the troubles of the world make you reject God/ you are mad at God/you are sinning, despair is a sin/ but god luvs you, if you were a christian you would have no reason to be sad/ great! see how it is to go against god?

There is just no righ answer for fundy theists.

[crisisGirl]

orpheus - that was DEAD ON! you hit the nail on the head!

the "you're not really happy" one pisses me off the most. (as if people are incapable of having their own emotions, so gawd has to tell us how we feel.) :banghead:

the other one that drives me from 0 to rage is when i tell ppl that i was miserable as a christian and get "you weren't really a christian then." there are variations on that one. for example, christian terrorists "aren't really christians" either. (i like to respond with "so al qu'aida isn't really islamic either huh?") :mad:

[orpheus last chant]

Wait. Let us not forget the old:


You haven't met the REAL christians. TRUE christians would never say THAT.


But above all, what matters is that most atheists I know decided not on the base of their feelings, but on reason and ....let's face it, lack of convincing evidence. No matter how my life was, could have been, exposing myself to general knowledge would have brought be to the same position.



If only everybody would take the effort of seeing what the opposition says, not what your side has to say about it.

[GypsyLife]

Originally posted by crisisGirl

the other one that drives me from 0 to rage is when i tell ppl that i was miserable as a christian and get "you weren't really a christian then."

I had that said to me when I wasn't even "out" as an atheist, and what's worse - by people that were supposed to know "my heart" - family... Apparently listening to <gasp> alternative rock (no!) and not going to a Baptist church makes you unxian enough. <pfft> I'm a pussycat - thought they knew that.


[QUOTE]Originally posted by orpheus last chant
Wait. Let us not forget the old:


You haven't met the REAL christians. TRUE christians would never say THAT.
[QUOTE]

And yet the people the say those things never realize how oddly convenient it is to have an answer for everything that they do not agree with. Ah well. It's in god's hands, right?

[midnight]

yeah my life had definitely gone through its sucky stages . . . in fact way down deep in a big trough of shit right now but I'm still as atheist as I ever was.

I don't think the urge to "pray" is a sign of weakness or lack of atheism. I think its normal, even for atheists, to try to control events they can't or to just want to let go of the worry some how by handing it over. I think of it more as meditating. Quieting myself down, letting go of the worry, and picturing the best senario. I don't think its going to do anything but it sure does make me feel better and thats what the point is any way.