Going To Church Again

[chanoc]

My girlfriend attends a non-fundee Church of Christ. Although I am Atheist, the social interaction element is attractive. It's lonely in Alaska not going to church, so I have decided to give it a try. Any thoughts?

[ebolamonger]

Eh, this would be tough for me if I were in your place. On one hand, I would really want to interact with people. On the other hand, whenever I have gone to church with friends in the past, I always ended up feeling more lonely. Everyone's bond is based on a spirituality that I just don't share.

If it's a non-fundie church though, things could work out. You probably want to try to get to know the people mostly outside of the church rather than right before or after the services. Even if they're otherwise cool people, they can be in "religion-mode" and it's a feeling I don't share and it makes things awkward.

[southernhybrid]

I don't think there's any atheist rule that forbids us from attending church if we enjoy it. ;)

Seriously, it will probably show your girl that you are willing to compromise and that you have an open mind. As long as this is your decision and you enjoy the socialization who are we to try and deter you from it. I'd just be sure that she understands that if you change your mind about attending church, there will be no negative reaction from her.

[muon]

You also should be really up front about *why* you're going to church, so that people, your girlfriend especially, don't develop false expectations about what this might mean about your beliefs.

[The Other Michael]

Have you thought about how your interactions are going to go when at church?

"Gee, you guys sure don't pass out much of this cracker and juice snack, do you?"

"Can't you do a sermon on something besides this religious stuff? You're really getting in a rut."

"I thought it was pretty boring on Sunday mornings while my GF was over here, but actually being here with her isn't much improvement. Maybe I'll bring a book to read next time."

"Hey, about this flood story, have you ever considered what it says about the brutality of your God?"

It is just like any other group of people that get together to share a common interest - if you don't have that interest in common, standing around being an outsider is likely to get old pretty quick.

Going to church with your GF once or twice a year is one thing - we all have to make accomodations in relationships for the other person's interests. But going every Sunday, and having to stand around biting your tongue to avoid offending someone, while everyone points at you and says "yeah, that's her atheist boyfriend - we need to drive him away before he corrupts her" seems a bit much.

good luck,
Michael

[chanoc]

Originally posted by southernhybrid
I don't think there's any atheist rule that forbids us from attending church if we enjoy it. ;)

I want to learn more about how the theist meme operates, and to study the bible which they preach. It should be interesting.

Seriously, it will probably show your girl that you are willing to compromise and that you have an open mind. As long as this is your decision and you enjoy the socialization who are we to try and deter you from it. I'd just be sure that she understands that if you change your mind about attending church, there will be no negative reaction from her.

My precise point of going with her is to accompany her and the family. I want to make my Atheist self presentable in a positive manner. Change my mind? There is no way to save the unsavable. :D

[southernhybrid]

Originally posted by chanoc
I want to learn more about how the theist meme operates, and to study the bible which they preach. It should be interesting.



My precise point of going with her is to accompany her and the family. I want to make my Atheist self presentable in a positive manner. Change my mind? There is no way to save the unsavable. :D

I think you misunderstood me. I meant if you change your mind about attending because you can't stand to be in such an awful place. I wasn't worried about you becoming saved. :D

You said in your OP that the social interaction was attractive. I think that's the only attractive thing about church. I attended church for the first twenty years of my life but I can't say that I understand the theist meme to this day.

Anyway, my point is that you should do whatever you like and not worry about what the other atheists think.
;)

[veniceboy]

I go to an extremely nonjudgmental church with my wife and generally enjoy it. I seriously doubt I am the only person there who takes it with a grain of salt. When I get bored I watch the kids fidget and make a general mockery of the whole thing-it's great when the priest is attempting to make a point about "god" and a kid laughs b/c his brother farts.

[Buddrow_Wilson]

I don't understand why you keep acting like Alaska has nothing but religious people. I was born and raised in Alaska and, while it may not be the most secular state in the U.S., it beats the hell out of the other states I've lived in (Virginia, Georgia, Florida, Arkansas). Unless Juneau is some hotbed of fundy activity, I would suggest you aren't seeing the whole picture regarding your social options.

[chanoc]

We broke up, so I will not be attending church. Oh well.:(