Looking for Zen stories

[triplew00t]

Anyone got any good zen stories relating to enlightenment, meditation or death? Any koans or proverbs?

Nero

[Steve K]

Koans are most popular in the Rinzai school of Zen, IIRC. I did some web searchs and found this page http://www.zenkoans.com/ with ~100 koans. (The famous one-hand-clapping is #21).

- Steve

[Shadowy Man]

check out this book:

Zen Flesh, Zen Bones (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1570620636/qid=1061522759/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/102-5483290-9141700?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)

[Calzaer]

One of the best, and has been posted on this forum before:

Gutei's Finger
Whenever anyone asked him about Zen, the great master Gutei would quietly raise one finger into the air. A boy in the village began to imitate this behavior. Whenever he heard people talking about Gutei's teachings, he would interrupt the discussion and raise his finger. Gutei heard about the boy's mischief. When he saw him in the street, he seized him and cut off his finger. The boy cried and began to run off, but Gutei called out to him. When the boy turned to look, Gutei raised his finger into the air. At that moment the boy became enlightened.

[Vajradhara]

Namaste,

i rather enjoy this one.

Chiu-feng was an attendant of Shih-shuang, and when the Master passed away the community decided to invite the chief monk in the hall to succeed him. Chiu-feng did not agree. "Please wait until i question him. If he understands Shih-shuang's teaching, then I'll serve him like our late Master." Chiu-feng then turned to the chief monk. "Shih-shuang said, 'Cease, desist; spend ten thousand years in one thought; be cold ashes, dead trees; be a censer in an ancient shrine; be a strip of pure white silk.' Now tell me, which side does this illustrate?"

The chief monk said, "It illustrates the side of uniformity."

Chiu-feng said, "Then you still don't understand the late teacher's meaning."

The chief monk said, "If you don't agree with me, bring me a stick of inscence." The chief monk then lit the inscense and said, "If i do not understand the late teacher's meaning, then I wont be able to pass away while this incense is still burning." So saying he sat down and died.

Chiu-feng patted him on the back and said, "As far as dying seated or standing is concerned, you're not lacking. But as for our late teacher's meaning, you haven't dreamed of seeing it."


the other one that i really enjoy is:

If people ask me what Zen is like, I will say that it is like learning the art of burglary. The son of a burglar saw his father growing older and thought: "if he is unable to carry out his profession, who will be the breadwinner of this family? I must learn the trade." One night the father took the son to a big house, broke through the fence, entered the house, and opening one of the large chests, told the son to go in and pick out the clothing. As soon as he got into it, the lid was dropped and the lock securely applied. The father now came out to the courtyard, and loudly knocking at the door woke up the whole family, whereas he himself quietly slipped away. The residents got up and lighted candles, but found that the burglars had already gone. The whole time, the son remained in the chest, and thought of his cruel father. Then a fine idea flashed upon him. He made a noise like the gnawing of a rat. When the lid was unlocked, out came the prisoner and fled. Noticing a well by the road, he picked up a large stone and threw it into the water. The pursuers gathered around the well trying to find the burglar drowning himself. By then, he was safely back in the house with his father, whom he blamed for his narrow escape. When the son told him of his adventures, the father remarked, "There, you have learned the art!"

D.T. Suzuki

[kalamasutta]

Master Shaku Soen liked to take an evening stroll through a nearby village. One day he heard loud lamentations from a house and, on entering quietly, realized that the householder had died and the family and neighbours were crying. He sat down and cried with them. An old man noticed him and remarked, rather shaken on seeing the famous master crying with them:'I would have thought that you at least were beyond such things.' 'But it is this which puts me beyond it' replied the master between his tears.


And a special favorite...........

A newly enlightened Westerner is strolling through the monastery with the Old Master, who speaks only broken English. At each of the Buddha images the master stops and bows deeply before moving on. The Westerner begins to look at the master with a little bit of disdain..........and finally says......"I say, don't you think that we are a bit above that sort of thing now?...........speaking for myself, I think I would just as soon spit at those images as bow to them....." To which the old master replies......."O.K. You spit, I bow"

[andy_d]

I like this one:

A samurai came to see a famous teacher, hoping to become his student. He asked:

"Master, perhaps you could tell me about heaven and hell?"

The old master simple said to him:

"Why should I bother? Somebody as stupid as you could never understand!"

The samurai was seized by rage at this insulting old man and drew his sword to strike the man down.

"That is hell!" said the master. Realizing he had been given a great lesson, the samurai sheathed his sword and bowed deeply in gratitude

"And that is heaven!" said the master

[pachomius2000]

I am most interested in and have commercial outlooks for stories of Buddhist monks with talents for exceptional physical feats like lifting with bare hands tons of steel, and also healing powers like remedies for migraine headaches, all sorts of daily disabling pains, aches, and discomforts; and of course if they can cure with finality cancers and other dreaded diseases like Aids.

A Buddhist confrere here claims that a Buddhist monk can have his nuts repeatedly and presumably kicked vigorously and not feel any pain. I will go back to him after this post, but for the present I like to give notice to all with contacts to such monks to see me, pachomius2000@yahoo.com.sg -- I have plans for them, I mean the monks.

Pachomius2000

[christiandeviant]

A monk wandered to a fire where two other monks were talking about objectivity and subjectivity.

The knew monk asked "Is that boulder there in your head?"

the monk replied "THe zen doctrine is that all is illusion, so the boulder is in my head"

the first monk said "Your head must be very heavy, to be carrying that boulder" :)

a monk was in the pose of medititaion dedicated to praticing patience. For nearly 6 hours he had been perfectly still in this pose.

A simpleton came along and asked the monk what he was doing. He replied "I'm practicing patience"

the simpleton said "Oh, well then you should eat shit"

the monk then yelled "NO! YOU SHOULD EAT SHIT!!!" :rolling:

There are two ways in which to answer the question "what is Zen?"

the first is in the form of a fable:
a fish asked the queen of the fish what water is. she replied, "THough you cannot see it, water is all around us, and flows through us, is a part of us, and we move through it. It is the essense of our world and our being. Therefore we cannot distinguish it."

The second answer:

[enembius]

I heard one about 2 shaolin monks who were arguening about which one would reach enlightenment first. So the both waged a peice of cake...

...except the one who reached enlightentment first had to GIVE the other a peice of cake.

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[Answerer]

Everybody please enjoy and learn at the same time............


Every Day Is a Good Day
Unmon said: "I do not ask you about fifteen days ago. But what about fifteen days hence? Come, say a word about this!" Since none of the monks answered, he answered for them: "Every day is a good day."


No Cold and Heat
A monk asked Tozan, "How can we escape the cold and heat?" Tozan replied, "Why not go where there is no cold and heat?" "Is there such a place?" the monk asked. Tozan commented, "When cold, be thoroughly cold; when hot, be hot through and through.


The Short Staff
Shuzan held out his short staff and said, "If you call this a short staff, you oppose its reality. If you do not call it a short staff, you ignore the fact. Now what do you wish to call this?"


Joshu's Mu
Joshu (A.D. 778-897) was a famous Chinese Zen Master who lived in Joshu, the province from which he took his name. One day a troubled monk approached him, intending to ask the Master for guidance. A dog walked by. The monk asked Joshu, "Has that dog a Buddha-nature or not?" The monk had barely completed his question when Joshu shouted: "MU!"


Seijo's Two Souls
Chokan had a very beautiful daughter named Seijo. He also had a handsome young cousin named Ochu. Joking, he would often comment that they would make a fine married couple. Actually, he planned to give his daughter in marriage to another man. But young Seijo and Ochu took him seriously; they fell in love and thought themselves engaged. One day Chokan announced Seijo's betrothal to the other man. In rage and despair, Ochu left by boat. After several days journey, much to his astonishment and joy he discovered that Seijo was on the boat with him!

They went to a nearby city where they lived for several years and had two children. But Seijo could not forget her father; so Ochu decided to go back with her and ask the father's forgiveness and blessing. When they arrived, he left Seijo on the boat and went to the father's house. he humbly apologized to the father for taking his daughter away and asked forgiveness for them both.

"What is the meaning of all this madness?" the father exclaimed. Then he related that after Ochu had left, many years ago, his daughter Seijo had fallen ill and had lain comatose in bed since. Ochu assured him that he was mistaken, and, in proof, he brought Seijo from the boat. When she entered, the Seijo lying ill in bed rose to meet her, and the two became one.

Zen Master Goso, referrring to the legend, observed, "Seijo had two souls, one always sick at home and the other in the city, a married woman with two children. Which was the true soul?"


Bells and Robes
Zen Master Unmon said: "The world is vast and wide. Why do you put on your robes at the sound of a bell?"


Ganto's Two Meals
Kisan paid a visit to Ganto, who was living in quiet seclusion, and asked, "Brother, are you getting two meals regularly?" "The fourth son of the Cho family supports me, and I am very much obliged to him," said Ganto. "If you do not do your part well, you will be born as an ox in the next life and will have to repay him for what you owed him in this life," Kisan cautioned.

Ganto put his fists on his forehead but said nothing. "If you mean horns," Kisan said, "you must stick out your fingers on top of your head." But before he finished speaking, Ganto shouted, "Hey!" Kisan did not understand his meaning and said, "If you know something deeper, why don't you explain it to me?" Ganto hissed at him and said, "You have been studying Buddhism for thirty years, as I have, and you are still wandering around. I have nothing to do with you. Just get out." And with these words he shut the door in Kisan's face.

The fourth son of the Cho family happened to be passing by and, out of pity, took Kisan to his home. "Thirty years ago we were close friends," Kisan said sorrowfully, "but now he has attained something higher than I have and will not impart it to me."

That night Kisan could not sleep. He got up and went to Ganto's house. "Brother," he implored, "please be kind and preach the Dharma for me." Ganto opened the door and disclosed the teaching. The next morning Kisan returned home, happy with attainment.


Bodhidharma and the Emperor Wu
Emperor Wu of China was a very benevolent Buddhist. He built many temples and monasteries, educated many monks, and performed countless philanthropic deeds in the name of Buddhism. He asked the great teacher Bodhidharma, "What merit is there in my good works?" Bodhidharma replied, "None whatsoever." The Emperor then asked, "What is the Primal meaning of Holy Reality?" Bodhidharma answered, "Emptiness, not holiness." The Emperor then queried, "Who, then, is this confronting me?" "I do not know," was Bodhidharma's reply. Since the Emperor did not understand, Bodhidharma left his kingdom.

Later, the Emperor related this conversation to an adviser, Prince Shiko. Shiko reprimanded him, saying that Bodhidharma was a great teacher possessed of the highest truth. The Emperor, filled with regret, dispatched a messenger to entreat Bodhidharma to return. But Shiko warned, "Even if all the people in the land went, that one will never return."


Returning to the Ordinary World
A monk asked Kegon, "How does an enlightened one return to the ordinary world?" Kegon replied, "A broken mirror never reflects again; fallen flowers never go back to the old branches."


No Beard
Wakuan complained when he saw a picture of bearded Bodhidharma, "Why hasn't that fellow a beard?"


Everything is Best
One day Banzan was walking through a market. He overheard a customer say to the butcher, "Give me the best piece of meat you have." "Everything in my shop is the best," replied the butcher. "You can not find any piece of meat that is not the best." At these words, Banzan was enlightened.


Manjusri Enters the Gate
One day as Manjusri stood outside the gate, the Buddha called to him, "Manjusri, Manjusri, why do you not enter?" Manjusri replied, "I do not see myself as outside. Why enter?"


Where to Meet after Death
Dogo paid a visit to his sick fellow monk, Ungan. "Where can I see you again if you die and leave only your corpse?" Dogo asked. "I will meet you where nothing dies," Ungan replied. Dogo criticized his response saying, "What you should have said is that there is no place where nothing is born and nothing dies and that we need not see each other at all."


A Philosopher Asks Buddha
A philosopher asked Buddha: "Without words, without silence, will you tell me the truth?" The Buddha sat quietly. The philosopher then bowed and thanked the Buddha, saying, "With your loving kindness I have cleared away my delusions and entered the true path." After the philosopher had gone, Ananda asked Buddha what the philosopher had attained. The Buddha commented, "A good horse runs even at the shadow of the whip."


Jizo's Buddhism
One day, Jizo received one of Hofuku's disciples and asked him, "How does your teacher instruct you?" "My teacher instructs me to shut my eyes and see no evil thing; to cover my ears and hear no evil sound; to stop my mind-activities and form no wrong ideas," the monk replied. "I do not ask you to shut your eyes," Jizo said, "but you do not see a thing. I do not ask you to cover your ears, but you do not hear a sound. I do not ask you to cease your mind-activities, but you do not form any idea at all."


The Southern Mountain
Sekiso lived and taught on the Southern Mountain, and Kankei lived and taught on the Northern Mountain. One day, a monk came from the Northern Monastery to the Southern Monastery in search of teaching. Sekiso said to him, "My Southern Monastery is no better than the Monastery in the North." The monk did not know what reply to make. When he returned to Kankei and told him the story, Kankei said, "You should have told him that I am ready to enter Nirvana any day."


The Girl Comes Out of Meditation
Once upon a time, Manjusri, the Bodhisattva of Wisdom, went to an assemblage of Buddhas. By the time he arrived, all had departed except for the Buddha Sakyamuni and one girl. She was seated in a place of highest honor, deep in meditation. Manjusri asked the Buddha how it was possible for a mere girl to attain a depth of mediation that even he could not attain. The Buddha said, "Bring her out of meditation and ask her yourself."

So Manjusri walked around the girl three times [a gesture of reverence], then snapped his fingers. She remained deep in meditation. He then tried rousing her by invoking all his magic powers; he even transported her to a high heaven. All was to no avail, so deep was her concentration. But suddenly, up from below the earth sprang Momyo, an unenlightened one. He snapped his fingers once, and the girl came out of her meditation.


The Real Way Is Not Difficult
Joshu addressed an assembly of monks: "The Real Way is not difficult;, but it dislikes the Relative. If there is but little speech, it is about the Relative or it is about the Absolute. This old monk is not within the Absolute. Do you value this or not?" A monk said to him, "If you are not within the Absolute, how can you judge its value?" Joshu said, "Neither do I know that." The monk argued, "Your Reverence, if you do not yet know, how is it that you say you are not within the Absolute?" Joshu said, "Your questioning is effective. Finish your worship and leave."


The Turtle in the Garden
A monk saw a turtle in the garden of Daizui's monastery and asked the teacher, "All beings cover their bones with flesh and skin. Why does this being cover its flesh and skin with bones?" Master Daizui took off one of his sandals and covered the turtle with it.


The Temple
One day Hofuku said to his disciples, "When one passes behind the temple, he meets Chang and Li, but he does not see anyone in front of it. Why is this? Which of the two roads is better?" A monk answered, "Something must be wrong with the sight. Nothing is gained without seeing." The Master scolded the monk, saying, "Stupid, the temple is always like this." The monk said, "If it were not the temple, one should see something." The Master said, "I am talking about the temple and nothing else."


Lotus Blossoms and Leaves
A monk asked Chimon, "Before the lotus blossom has emerged from the water, what is it?" Chimon said, "A lotus blossom." The monk pursued, "After it has come out of the water, what is it?" Chimon replied, "Lotus leaves."

[Sarpedon]

A young monk and his master were walking next to a lake. The master asked "Where are the geese?" The young monk replied: "They have all flown away." The master seized him by the nose and said "There never were any geese." And the young monk became enlightened.

[nothing]

master Shinzabi was approached by a follower of zen, he asked the follower "who are you?"

master Shizabi was asked once by someone something.

Master Shinzabi was asked what is Zen? He said "I dont know."

Master Shinzabi gave up not knowing what zen was and did not begin to not not know what the meaning of zen is or was.

Master Shinzabi was asked to define zen, and he immediately sent for a dictionary.

Master Shinzabi was asked how to reach enlightenment, he replied that it will always be beyond reach.

Master Shinzabi was asked a question once that he could not answer, for he did not know what he was the master of.

Master shinzabi and Master Skizan went for a walk, and they returned after discussing why they were so silent.

Master Skizan was asked to help a monk gain enlightenment, so he removed the pack from the monks shoulders.

Masters Shinzabi and Skizan never existed, they are figments of my imagination that I never wrote about.

[But]

Great! HA HA HA! A real thigh-slapper!

:rolling:

[lenrek]

Not sure if this consider as a Zen story, but to me this is rather funny.

A hungry monk who went to the owner of a restaurant and asked her: "If I can inspire you with a Buddhist Teaching, will you give me a meal?", to which the pious Buddhist restaurateur eagerly said: "Yes".

With confidence that he (the monk) would earn his lunch, the monk solemnly quoted the Heart Sutta: "Form is emptiness. Emptiness is form".

"Wonderful! Marvelous! How profound!" exalted the woman. "Please monk, wait here a moment".

The saliva was flowing freely in the hungry monk's mouth as the woman brought an enormous plate from the kitchen covered with a lid. "Sit down, Venerable Sir. Here are the chopsticks. Here's a glass of water. Here is the sauce.", said the woman.

Then she placed the heavy plate before the expectant monk, removed the lid and reveal an empty plate. "If form is emptiness and emptiness is form", said the woman, "Then, Venerable Sir, Eat emptiness!".

Some say, the moral of the story is for all Buddhist monks never to underestimate the women who feed you. But to me, the real meaning here is never to think, by simply read a few books, articles or texts, that will make one knows what Buddhism is all about. Because, in front of those who knows, these people are really acting foolishly.

The only way to learn Buddhism is to apply the teaching into our daily life. However, I maybe overly pedantic when saying this... :Cheeky:

[All Hail Discordia!]

"A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.

One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate."

He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.

His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."

Hearing this, the man was enlightened."

From the good book (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/book/12.php).

[Philos]

Some say, the moral of the story is for all Buddhist monks never to underestimate the women who feed you. But to me, the real meaning here is never to think, by simply read a few books, articles or texts, that will make one knows what Buddhism is all about. Because, in front of those who knows, these people are really acting foolishly.

The only way to learn Buddhism is to apply the teaching into our daily life. However, I maybe overly pedantic when saying this... :Cheeky:

Good Words. The only person who knows your state is yourself. One should never be overawed by the apparent difficulty of the path, as pictured in the stories. They are only stories about other people.

There is a danger that enlightement can be raised to the level of a samsaric goal, which it is not. Enlightenment is not a 'holy grail'. :)

[DCC]

Two monks were walking together when they noticed a scorpion that had fallen into a pool of water and was struggling to escape.

The older monk reached down to pick the scorpion up and was consequently stung, causing him to drop the scorpion back into the water. This chain of events was repeated several times.

Finally, the younger monk, in exasperation, asked: "Why do you keep picking up the scorpion? Can't you see it's in his nature to sting you?"

To which the older monk replied: "Yes, but it's in my nature to try to save him anyway."

[christiandeviant]

I heard one about 2 shaolin monks who were arguening about which one would reach enlightenment first. So the both waged a peice of cake...

...except the one who reached enlightentment first had to GIVE the other a peice of cake.

:rolling: :love:


oh my goodness, this is the best one ever.

[lenrek]

I just remember another story that have certain "Zen" style in it. I cannot say I remember the exact story, but overall is something like the following:

A researcher was sponsored by an university to investigate what meditation is all about. So, he travel many lands and meet up with many well know meditative masters and always ask the following questions:

1) What is meditation?
2) Why meditation?
3) How to meditate?
4) What is to be expected from mediation?

From all the meetings, he collected many answers and compiled them accordingly. Until one day he went to meet a Thai forest monk (who many believe he has gained enlightenment). On hearing many praises to this monk, he went and met this monk with great expectation of the answers he may be getting.

The great monk listen to the questions, he answer them by saying:

1) What is eating?
2) Why eat?
3) How to eat?
4) What is to be expected from eating?

The researcher was stunned and disbelieve! He said: "You cannot expect me to accept these answers!"
The monk smile, and calmly reply: "That is all the answers I can give you."

[epepke]

Two monks were walking together when they noticed a scorpion that had fallen into a pool of water and was struggling to escape.

The older monk reached down to pick the scorpion up and was consequently stung, causing him to drop the scorpion back into the water. This chain of events was repeated several times.

Finally, the younger monk, in exasperation, asked: "Why do you keep picking up the scorpion? Can't you see it's in his nature to sting you?"

To which the older monk replied: "Yes, but it's in my nature to try to save him anyway."

The younger monk picked a stick and lifted the scorpion out of the water. The older monk was enlightened. Then he went into anaphylactic shock, lapsed into a coma, and died. The End.

[DCC]

The younger monk picked a stick and lifted the scorpion out of the water. The older monk was enlightened. Then he went into anaphylactic shock, lapsed into a coma, and died. The End.

:rolling:

[lulay]

what happened next?

[epepke]

what happened next?

The Younger Monk invented a pocket fishing implement. Then he got ripped off by Ron Popeil. Then he took to drink and got pancreatitis and died. The End.

[lulay]

next?

[epepke]

You die. She dies. Everybody dies.

I think that was from Heavy Metal.

[lulay]

happens next

[Wily Coyote]

Two old monks were enjoying tea together. The first monk said, "Dear friend, you are very wise and an entertaining companion. Nevertheless, I've always wondered why you never chose to marry."

The second monk said, "Ah, but when I was younger, I did consider taking a wife. I met a beautiful young woman, very attractive and wealthy, but alas, she was also very vain and selfish. I decided she would not make a good wife.

Then, I met another woman, who was herself very intelligent and wise. She was also a good cook and a good companion. Unfortunately, she was also very plain-looking and in my vanity, I chose not to marry her, as well.

Then, I met a third woman. She was very beautiful, and not only that, she was also intelligent, very loving, and very pleasant company to be with. My heart rejoiced that I'd finally found the perfect woman."

The first monk asked, "And did you marry her?"

The second monk smiled and said, "No. It seems she was searching for the perfect man."

[lenrek]

...It seems she was searching for the perfect man...

Very funny...

:rolling:

[gsx1138]

I can't really remember these but here goes.


A young woman was sitting on an alter box. Her father saw her and gasped before asking her if she knew that the alter box contained the Buddha. She replied, "Show me where the Buddha is not and I shall sit there."



A monk came upon some men shooting arrows at a target on a cliff overlooking the ocean. After awhile he asked if he could try. They obliged the Monk and handed him a bow. Carefully he drew the string back and concentrated for a good while before he let the arrow loose. The arrow flew over the target and into the Ocean to which he exclaimed, "Perfect shot!"

[lenrek]

...No. It seems she was searching for the perfect man...


There is no perfect man nor perfect woman, just perfect fantasy.