The most fundy person you know?

[SiliconWolf]

Who is the biggest fundy you know personally?

Answer #1: My Sainted Mother TM

I call her an Ultra-Catholic TM. She goes to mass every single morning. She claims to believe in YEC, biblical inerrancy, and so on even though the Pope doesn't. I haven't heard her use the term "rapture" but a quick glance at her bookshelf convinces me she believes in at least some of the concepts.

Her church has something they call perpetual adoration, in which people take shifts in the chapel 24/7 praying in front of a communion wafer. She does that a few hours a week in addition to daily mass.

Every couple months, she drives from Illinois to Ohio to visit a church where there are some alleged Mary apparitions going on. She likes to recruit other Ultra-Catholics TM to go along with her. She comes back talking about the fire and brimstone type stuff that god will send to mark the end of the world. She also buys into the paranoia stuff like the number 666 in bar codes, the Freemason conspiracy to rule the world, etc. :rolleyes:

Somehow she didn't seem to take it too hard when I deconverted. :confused: :)

Answer #2: my "godparents" who moved to South Bend, Indiana to join a Catholic group called the People of Praise or some such. They remind me of Mormons (no drinking, "family values", Boy Scouts, etc.) but with distinctly Catholic theology.

Okay, everyone, let's hear yours. I just hope this thread doesn't get TOO depressing.

[livius drusus]

I actually don't know any fundies personally. Oh sure, I have the usual panoply of idiot cousins who jumped on the post 9-11 Godwagon, and I do get the occasional tentative conversion attempt from a Bible-studying colleague, but I am otherwise fundy-free.

Since this is a question about living as an atheist in a xian environment, I'm moving the thread to SL.

[Ultimate Atheist]

A guy I work with- One day we were talking about gas prices. They had actually dropped right after we started bombing in Iraq. I said "Yeah we killed a bunch of people and gas is cheaper yippee!!" I of course was being sarcastic. He said that he hoped we killed twice as many and the prices would drop more. I gave him a WTF look and he said that they don't deserve to live because they don't believe in the one true god. I said "So anyone that doesn't believe in Jesus should die?" I said that there are many good people that just don't happen to be Christians. I told him that there were many other religions that were based on similar principles. He said that they all deserve to die because they weren't Christians. I literally almost vomitted.

A guy that I used work with- I was talking with a few other people about NASA. A guy working with us had a son that works for NASA and he was telling me how he works with the group working on the manned mission to Mars. He said that they had hoped to have a manned mission by at least 2010. Well Mr fundy butted in and said that they're wasting their time. I asked why and he said that we weren't going to be here then. I asked if he knew about an asteroid or something that the rest of the world hasn't heard about and he said that the world would end at the turn of the century according to the Bible. I wish I knew where he is now so I could find him and ask him what happened.

Do people honestly believe this shit?

[BadBadBad]

I used to work with a couple of women in their early twenties. Every time I saw them together, they'd be sitting there in their cubie looking at each other all dreamy eyed talking all about praise jesus. Just having the time of their life with their little prayer party.

Do you remember the video tape of Osama Bin Laden and his buddies when they were doing the praise Allah chat that they blew up the World Trade Center? It always kind of made me sick in the same way. Having a little chat with fantasy God praising him for the glory of all his murders. I'll always link the two now in my memory.

[Hedwig]

I have a third cousin who's a priest. Father Vincent. He's in his sixties. He's a super fundie Catholic. He was so fundie that he refused to attend the wedding of my parents because my dad was marrying a Baptist woman and it wasn't going to be a proper Catholic ceremony. According to him my brother and I are both bastards (in my case, personality wise, it's true...but that's beside the point. ;)) When my grandfather died after a long bout with cancer, Father Vincent handled the funeral. My grandfather had told him, since he is a very conservative Catholic and therefore wanted to do the never ending funeral mass, to keep it short. It would have been a lot shorter if Father Vincent hadn't said, every five minutes or so, "well, since I'm supposed to keep this short..."

My bereaved grandmother almost walked up to the podium to kick him in the pulpit and I think it was all my father and his brothers could do to keep her from flipping him off.

[Heathen Dawn]

One of my former rabbis, an ex-secular Jew called Ovadia Salton. He is a virulent Ultra-Orthodox Jew and anti-Zionist (anti-Zionism being a hallmark of the most extreme religious Jews). He doesn't spare a moment in cursing secular Jews and the secular state of Israel, and he blames all the woes of Jews everywhere on breaking the sabbath. He says secular Jews are nothing but "empty vessels, full of depravity and filthy desires". An outstanding case of Ahavat Yisrael (love of fellow Jews) he is. He spares no vicious comments for all non-Orthodox Jews, whether they are secularists, Reform or Conservative.

[Taffer]

A classmate of mine who was a buddy for eight years before I even figured out why he was sort of wacky in that unique way of his. Incidentally, that was around the time I started frequenting II.

He's a literal-Bible YEC. More out of ignorance than anything else, but the worst bit is that he absolutely refuses anything that looks like it might have the slightest hint of evolution in it. He's keeping himself in the dark, and while he's free to have any religion he wants, I can't respect such a deliberate denial. Sitting next to him in Biology is a pain in the ass.

And he's incredibly biased against anything middle-eastern as well. On the subject of Arabia, he once strongly stated that "nothing good can come from that dirthole" and then mumbled something along the lines of "you know what I mean" when everybody gave him The Look (TM).

Another blurb on the terrorist hostage situation that was just resolved: He thinks they shouldn't have given in to the terrorist's demands since the ransom would just go to weapons any way. What about the hostages, then? "mumble mumble weapons mumble"

And when he saw a picture of one of these returned hostages wearing Arabian clothes he went off ranting about how such a guy probably supported the terrorists anyway because, well, look at the clothes he's wearing!
This one shocked me the most. He was completely serious. And he didn't have the simple decency to look ashamed, as he sometimes does.

Perhaps this aversion to beards and turbans isn't directly related to his christianity, but I'm convinced that it could be remedied if he got out of his nutshell and looked at the world without comparing everything in Bible terms.

[Gothic_J]

I wore a turban the july 4th after 9/11. christ, that was fun.

anyway, worst fundy I know. . . hm. some on kgivler.com are annoying. one said it god did the holocaust, it would be ok. most say they would kill their child if god told them to.

good litmus test for fundyism - would they kill their kid for god? I stay away from people who say yes.

[The Other Michael]

Why not lower the bar a little and ask if they'd deny their child medical attention? That is still pretty creepy.

cheers,
Michael

[Omega Glory]

My mother is definitely the most fundy person I know. I don't know if she's a YEC, but she does believe that every word of the bible is true. She refuses to learn anything about evolution and just keeps saying "We didn't come from monkeys" everytime anyone brings it up.

She attends this weird church that preaches against interracial dating and marriage, encourages girls to marry young, and teaches that babies who cry for reasons other than hunger or needing a new diaper are lying, and feels depressed if she can't go to all three services offered per week. She used to be pretty relaxed about religion while I was young, but now she can't have a conversation with anyone without bringing Jesus into it. I think she's upset about my beliefs and is trying to suck my younger sister in before she starts to see through it all.


It's strange because she's really a nice person, but some of the things she says are just sick. For example, a friend of the family lost her toddler in an accident. It had taken her years of trying before she'd had the child so once she had him, she wanted to spend all of her time with him. When he died, my mother told another friend that God was probably punishing the mother for loving the baby more than she loved him (God). She's also said that all non-Christians should be forced out of America.

All in all, I just feel sorry for her. It must be pretty scary to live in a world where God will kill your baby because you didn't go to church often enough.

[mongrel]

Geez, I'm lucky. I don't know any frothy-mouthed fundies.

Most of my family seem to be xians, but they're either of the "pick'n'choose" variety- they only seem to believe the bits that give them the warm fuzzies and ignore the rest- or they just pay lip service to the general concept, as if their brains were on autopilot. They don't give me a hard time about being an atheist, either, although I occasionally hear a few of them dribble nonsensical religious crap.

So, I guess my answer to the question is my aunt would be the closest to a fundy I know. She's a SDA and goes to church every Saturday, but she's definitely a "pick'n'chooser".

[RevDahlia]

This kid who was in a poly sci course I once took. The class concerned what notable philosophers thought about politics, and it was very interesting.. or would have been... had "Barry" not nattered ON and ON and ON about Jeebus throughout every single class. Typically, it would go like this:

Prof: "And so, what Plato thought about the role of government was... Barry?"
Barry: "But is that RIGHT?! Is it what the Lawd wants? No! The Lawd wants blah blah blah fundy crap. "

I could have throttled him. The professor, who was a mild-mannered type and didn't really know what to do, had to talk very fast in order to squeeze all the needed content in between Jeebusy interjections by Barry.

Two classmates and I formed an anti-Barry coalition. One of my cohorts was a liberal Christian, the other was a deconverted Pentecostal who could shoot scripture from the hip like nobody I've ever met. We were hesitant to argue with Barry during lectures, because it would have meant even more class time taken up with pulpit pounding, but we ganged up on him in discussion groups and got the prof to let us figuratively disembowel him on the last day of class. It was great.

Later, I had another class with the execrable Barry, and messed with his head by being very nice to him. I wasn't having the god-bothering, but I was polite. Of course it led to the classic "How can you be an atheist, you're so NICE!" conversation that we all love so very much.

Blecch.

[jkizer]

A guy I took general and organic chemistry with wore lots of t-shirts with "clever" Xian parodies of popular clothing brands (e.g. "A & F: Accepted and Forgiven"), talked (in so many words) about how only Baptists were truly saved, and repeatedly asserted that all women are "evil."

[Roland98]

Originally posted by jkizer
...repeatedly asserted that all women are "evil."

Wow, glad I didn't know that guy. He would've gotten a piece of my mind (but it's OK, sounds like he could use it).

I never really knew any super-fundies growing up. However, recently my FIL and BIL converted to some freaky fundie denomination (due to the BIL's then-fiancee, now wife). So the BIL burned all his "satanistic" CD's and now they both wear the (apparently required) Christian T-shirts all the time, and criticize my husband and I (both atheists) for the way we're raising our kids (without brainwashing them, obviously). This even though I'd allowed the kids to attend church with them several times (which stopped when my 3 1/2 year old daughter came home telling me how they talked about how Mommy and Daddy are going to a "bad place" when they die. :mad: I'm also a scientist, so of course they now also must tell me the "evils" of evolution, etc.

And all of this without ever even reading the Bible...they're some of those who substitute what their pastor says for actual thinking. :rolleyes:

Ironically, about the same time they converted, my dad also converted from being a lifelong Methodist to RCC (and is now jumping through all the hoops to be a deacon). He's mostly fine with my lack of belief (though he won't use the word "atheism.") Until I met some online RCC fundies, I thought this was pretty much par for the course.

[Hedwig]

I just remembered...there was a girl named Brittany that I went to high school with. She was a real YEC Protestant. She even said she didn't believe that there could be intelligent life elsewhere in the universe. When my best friend at the time (Mormon but open and scientifically minded) asked her what she thought all that space was for, Brittany replied that "God just put it there for us to wonder about." I think my friend slammed her head against her locker at that point.

My Mormon friend also has a very interesting mother. On the one hand, she's a very talented artist who appears and acts quite bohemian...she's travelled to Italy and London and is actually very cultured. She loves Star Trek stuff and Star Wars. She reads Tolkien and is an avid Harry Potter fan...But she is a born-again dyed in the wool Mormon who was mortified that her daughter's first husband was a pagan and was delighted when her son married a nice Mormon girl in the temple since now he can still get to the highest level of heaven when he dies.

When we were preparing for our senior play she helped work on the sets and would run through with her ears covered lest she hear the "devil music" we were listening to...the soundtrack to Strange Days. She also wouldn't let her daughter watch beyond PG movies in the house and only with great hesitancy did she allow us to watch, in her home, a movie as disturbing as The Dark Crystal and even ruined my copy of Clue because of the scene where Prof. Plum tries to imitate one of the racy photo negatives with Mrs. White.

She is easily the oddest fundie I've ever known.

[fried beef sandwich]

... but I was the most fundy, repressed, etc person I knew.

But since I'm not anymore, I'd have to say the college sunday school teacher at my old church. He's a satellite engineer, a total YEC'er, believes in a universal flood with Noah, repeatedly quotes Duane Gish and the Institute for Creation Research when he was going through the Genesis unit in the sunday school curriculum... He even included a section in the summer sunday school curriculum, which was basically, "Why the Catholics are wrong, idol-worshipers, and are probably worshipping satan when they venerate the saints."

I had never been so pissed before in my life - the angriest I'd ever been without saying something - I mean, absolutely NO ONE was questioning him for the first hour or so, just taking notes and studiously absorbing everything like the sponges they were. I was sitting there, just thinking, "there's gotta be SOMEONE willing to stand up to this guy" ... but not a peep out of them. So it was up to me to be the asshole atheist and spoil his dogma party. Unfortunately, he dodged my questions and asked me to ask him after class (presumably so that no one else could/would question him and be influenced by my satanic ways).

He even tried to talk to me out of philosophy and Man's Logic (tm) a couple of times, in an effort to change my mode of thinking, whereupon I pointed out, "Wait wait wait, so... you think that Man's Logic (tm) can never explain God or ever let you understand God's logic, yet you are using Christian Apologetics, which uses Man's Logic, to try to explain God's logic, which cannot be understood by man."

Answer "You can't understand God's logic until you have God in you." :banghead:

[DBT]

I've got one at work, a nice friendly fellow who does his job well and can think logicaly otherwise, but when it comes to his religion
he accepts everything the Aig crowd say as gospel,
a 6000 year old universe,the bible being absolutely infallible etc.
its very sad.

[Barcode]

Her church has something they call perpetual adoration, in which people take shifts in the chapel 24/7 praying in front of a communion wafer. She does that a few hours a week in addition to daily mass.

Praying to a cornflake or whatever it is they buy in bulk from the local Walmart. How very, very, bizarre.

The most religious people I know is my girlfriend, and needless to say, it's an issue. Mass on Sunday's, observation of religious holidays, prayer group, another group, confession, praying to the Virgin Mary ... the whole damn caboodle.

[Postcard73]

My best friend from junior-high and high school, who was later my college roommate, has a master of divinity degree from Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville. We still talk several times a year, and I see him when he comes to visit. He generally avoids discussing religion around me because most of our mutual friends are atheists. Back in the day, we used to argue a LOT...

[Tom Sawyer]

I used to work next to a guy who was a YEC.

He was actually one of the smartest people I've met and could argue very rationally about a number of subjects, but when it got to religion he shut his mind down. He argued for it, but all his arguments were the really weak ones ("we can't know what happened, so God's real", etc). It was actually kind of sad.

I did once yell at him in the office when he tried to tell me that the speed of light has been slowing down for the past few thousand years, which is why we can see things billions of light years away, which was pretty fun, but most of the time, we kept our conversations to other matters.

I also know a Morman guy who thinks that that crap makes a lick of sense, which is odd too.

[Cipher Girl]

The most fundy person I've ever worked with was really strange. He was some sort of fundy christian who constantly rattled on and on about how christians were some sort of persecuted minority. How atheists, jews, masons, gays, etc were in some way out to wipe christians off the face of the planet. :banghead: Even though me (atheist) and another co-worker (evangelical christian) were always rebuting all of the crazy things he said.

One day at work he starts on with "all gays should be shot". Well the rest of us in the office started asking him things like 1) Well the bible doen't have anything against lesbians, is that okay? 2) Lesbians are stylish right? etc... etc. He then stormed out of the office. :)

Later he starts with the crap "all atheists should be shot", knowing full well that I'm atheist. Well, I told him that I would like to see him try, since my father taught me to shoot a gun when I was 5 years old, and I've practiced since then. He backed off rather quickly.

But the strange thing was that he was not a racist except for not liking jews, which seemed more like a religious discrimination attitide. He thought that everyone who did not have the same fundy beliefs as him deserved to die. :rolleyes:

Well he did not last too long at work. ;)

[Kalkin]

I'm pretty lucky, don't know any real fundies... the worst I ever met was in a really wierd situation; he was a leader of a summer-camp backpacking trip. Most of those people tend to be hippies, but this guy was a YEC, as my friend discovered when he asked if that U-shaped valley was probably glacial... (no, God made it:rolleyes: ). It made the rest of the trip interesting, because whenever we would stop to rest, we would argue about God or evolution or something. It was two of my friends and I, three athiest 7th-graders, verse the YEC, who obviously had a fair amount of experience arguing his position, although we had the advantage of being on the right side of the debate. We unfortunately failed to convince him, although we reduced him to making some pretty bizarre factual assertions that he could only get away with because we were in the middle of nowhere with no way to check. :boohoo:

[Badfish]

That one guy who always goes on and on.

[Evolutionist]

those friendless nutters on the underground...

[debater10]

The Chancellor of my university, Mr Jerry Falwell. The things he says in convocation on wednesdays [note that these are private services] are ten times worse than anything he has said on national tv. I'm here b/c Liberty has a good debate program, but I still have to listen to him once or more per week.

[The Other Michael]

Perhaps you could share some of the gems of wisdom with which ol' Jerry is blesserizing you. GRD might be a better venue for that.

cheers,
Michael

[Sarpedon]

There was this guy who, in the first week of my political philosophy class, made the following comment. "Aristotle wasn't very christian." Later he asked me to help him with his ethics class, as he said that I was one of the more ethical people he knew. You should have seen the look on his face when, even later, I said that the bible was false and God was imaginary. That shocked look that christians get not only when their views are challenged, but that the atheists turn out to be people that they considered to be "ethical". Classic. Later he and another fundie girl were telling me that evolution was false because some (unnamed) geneticist had said that the chromosomes "don't add up."
Me: What do you mean, they "don't add up?"
She: They just don't ADD UP!

This fellow and this girl were otherwise pretty bright. Both of them ended up in my class about Jame's Joyce's "Ulysses." for some reason.

[Chiron]

I think I'm another one of the lucky ones: I don't know (that I know) any real fundies in the flesh.

The two most fundy people I'm ever conversed/debated with are probably yguy here, and someone named jshadias at another board I used to frequent, AH. jshadias would say things to the effect of "taking 'under god' out of the Pledge is ONLY acceptable if there is a law that says teachers can't get fired for re-inserting those words when they lead the class in it". Imagine the irony of yguy and jshadias being the same person -- their posting styles were sorta similar, and I guess they held at least similar views...

-Chiron

[VonEvilstein]

That well known reality denier and possible bot from FARK.com (http://www.fark.com), Bevets (http://www.bevets.com).

[Raydo97]

Great Topic! Some of these stories are priceless. I've got another one to add to the pile:

The biggest fundy I know, hands down, is my mother. When I was a kid, we attended every church within a 40 mile radius of our house until she found a church with which she could "agree." Her search ended with us driving past a dozen churches and an hour out of our way each Sunday so we could attend the most "independent & fundamental" church in the area.

Once we were imbedded there, it wasn't enough to just sit and listen to the mental illness being spewed from the pulpit three times a week. Nope. Mom had to run the place! She wrote and performed songs for the congregation, taught Sunday school classes, and eventually started a grass roots movement that REMOVED THE PREACHER because he was TOO LIBERAL!

Her personal life is even more entertaining. Like most Christians I know, she had antiquated ideas about human sexuality and was so uptight about sex that she practically walked with her legs crossed. Sex was a sin and the body was dirty. She caught me watching "Solid Gold" once and about lost her mind. I was about 11 years old and explained that I "just wanted to hear the music." She said, "well... you're not going to watch that filthy dancing," and then TAPED A NEWSPAPER OVER THE TELEVISION! Eventually, she decided the music was also "of the devil," so she turned the television off and sent me to my room.

One day I was in my room listening to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and she walked in during the Vincent Price part of the song where he's talking about zombies and the dead coming out of their tombs. She went insane, grabbed the record and it's sleeve, and then BURNED THEM in the fireplace. She did the same thing with Eddie Grant's "Electic Avenue" because one of her fundy friends told her if you play the song at a different speed, Eddie claims to be GOD!!!

If that's not enough, she also went through our encyclopedia set and ripped out all of the diagrams of the female genitals and a couple of paintings that showed women in various stages of undress. Needless to say, our Sears catalogue didn't have an underwear section, either.

All of that happened during my childhood. As an adult, I live about 800 miles away and she and I rarely see each other. However, she still calls to ask about whether or not I'm going to church and inserts 50 Jebus references into every ten minute phone call. She insists that I give Jebus credit for something as simple as a bowel movement. I stopped giving her any good news that I might have because it would always be followed with the statement, "that's great, honey... now you know who to thank for that, don't you?" Let me guess... Jebus?

A couple of years ago, mom became really exasperated with my lack of faith and refusal to go to church, so she whipped out the big guns. She actually called me and explained that if I don't start "obeying the Lord," he's going to discipline me. She said, "you've got a beautiful little wife. Maybe one of these days she'll wreck and get killed on her way to work. God will take her from you to teach you a lesson. Remember, the Lord will not be mocked."

WHAT? What is that you're saying?

I didn't talk to her for over a year after that. Look at the logic in that statement. Doesn't that indicate that my wife's life is practically worthless if he'll smite her JUST TO TEACH ME A LESSON. And what would that lesson be? Is the lesson that he's a bloodthirsty sadistic bastard?

Of course, this is what happens when humans create God in their own image.

Here's the kicker to top all of these stories. My mom is currently MARRIED TO HER FIFTH HUSBAND! In the ten years that I have been faithfully married to my ONLY wife, my mom has married and divorced FOUR TIMES. Each time, she has used the bible to justify her actions. She is still "a good Christian who's going to heaven" and I'm the one... the one who doesn't drink, smoke, break the law in any way, volunteers, performs community service, raises money for charities, and is faithfully married... I'm the one who will burn for eternity.

How can someone's mind become so warped?

[Queen of Swords]

Originally posted by Raydo97
Doesn't that indicate that my wife's life is practically worthless if he'll smite her JUST TO TEACH ME A LESSON. And what would that lesson be? Is the lesson that he's a bloodthirsty sadistic bastard?

My dad feels the same way about my mother getting cancer. God did that to her in order to get him (my dad) back into the fold.

The first time he mentioned this quaint theory to me, I was too shocked to reply. If he ever tells me this again, I'm going to remind him that I still have to be "brought back into the fold", so what's God going to do for an encore? Give my mother another type of cancer? Kill her? You'd think the omnipotent creator of the universe wouldn't need to sink to the level of torturing people in order to make other people kiss his feet. And I'll wind up by saying that if there really was such a god and he behaved in such a way, worshipping him would be the last thing I'd ever do. :rolleyes:

[The Other Michael]

She insists that I give Jebus credit for something as simple as a bowel movement.

<introduction mode>Raydo97's mom - meet Mad Kally's mom. </introduction mode>

cheers,
Michael

[sakrilege]

Originally posted by SiliconWolf
Every couple months, she drives from Illinois to Ohio to visit a church where there are some alleged Mary apparitions going on. That wouldn't be Maranatha Spring (http://www.holylove.org/pilgrimages/brief_tour_of_maranatha_spring_and_shrine.htm) would it? Funny thing, people used to drink from the spring, that is until the health department found the bacteria level was a bit high. :D

[Viti]

My aunt tells the story of shopping for a dress for her 25th anniversary party. She had been everywhere but unable to find anything suitable, then "The Lord" told her to go to JC Penney, and she argued "Lord I have been there already", but apprently He was insistent and she finally gave in and decided to obey. Well praise be to gawdamighty she found a dress at Penneys she had missed her first time through.

Thats just one of her stories, I no longer associate with them (a cousin found out I was a stripper when he came to my club and a faction of the family decided I was a hellbound whore right then and there). I don't need people like them in my life.

[excreationist]

Raydo97:
....Here's the kicker to top all of these stories. My mom is currently MARRIED TO HER FIFTH HUSBAND!....
Cool stories.... BTW, if you're bored, you could tell her about these Bible verses: Matthew 5:31-32, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, and Corinthians 7:10-11. The text and my comments are here (http://www.christianforums.com/t52098).

[SiliconWolf]

Originally posted by sakrilege
That wouldn't be Maranatha Spring (http://www.holylove.org/pilgrimages/brief_tour_of_maranatha_spring_and_shrine.htm) would it? Funny thing, people used to drink from the spring, that is until the health department found the bacteria level was a bit high. :D
Yes, I think that's the place.

Did I mention that my mom also fasts every Wednesday and Friday because Mary told her to? In fact, her devotion to Mary is so intense that my dad (a more or less apathetic Catholic) thinks Mary is part of the Trinity.

[catalyst]

I have a kingdom's hall of JW (or whatever) around the corner, and a real holy-roller southern baptist church down the street. Many of my neighbor's are really off the deep end.

I am our neighborhood's token minority, I think. If they ever find out about my lack of religous beliefs, they will probably try to burn me at the stake.

I have seen some of them passing out YEC literature, and they are real big on going to 'retreats'. I think they get together and pray for god to smite their enemies, or something.

[Viti]

Originally posted by excreationist
Raydo97:

Cool stories.... BTW, if you're bored, you could tell her about these Bible verses: Matthew 5:31-32, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, and Corinthians 7:10-11. The text and my comments are here (http://www.christianforums.com/t52098). Typical hypocrisy on that thread. Homosexuals are hellbound because they continue to live in sin, but adulterers (simply by being divorced and married to another) can continue to live in sin but its okay?

[Evolved]

The biggest fundy I know is my new sister-in-law, my brother married her yesterday. Her and her family are Catholic and my brother converted at her request. (insistance actually)

She goes to Mass everyday at her lunch break and she use to send me daily's e-mails a couple of years ago about the wonders of god and Christ until I started sending her snippets from here and other sites. I pissed her off and she whined to my brother and he called me up and said that we(her and I) shouldn't e-mail each other anymore which was fine by me because I never e-mailed her anyway except to send rebuttals.

Of course we get to the reception and my brother's grooms(no Catholics) and my daughter sit down at the wedding table to eat. I was still standing behind my daughter pushng her cahir in when my brother's bitch mother-in-law snarls "get up! we have to pray before we eat!" The guys jump up and bow their heads and I told my daughter to keep sitting and I did continue to stand with my head raised not bowed.

Her Mother made her ask the Father permission to stand up for my husband and myself when we were married by a judge because she did not see it as a real wedding because we did not stand before god in church to give our vows. :rolleyes:

She's gonna be a fun sis-in-law. :sad:

A friend of mine has a mother-in-law that is really fundamental! Her daughter and my friend had met at their job and both were unhappily married and they fell in love and began an affair. After they left, and divorced their spouses they moved in together and lived "in sin" for a few years before they got married and moved into a larger home. The mother-in-law had the Father bless the house they lived in "in sin"! She wanted the house cleansed of all evil before anyone else moved in it. :p

[Kalkin]

debator10, Liberty University has a good debate program? Really?:eek: Are you successful at national circuit policy debate? That's really surprising unless your debaters are way more secular than the school... it's hard to imagine a fundy winning a kritik debate.:rolleyes: Even if you mean LD or IE or something, it's still wierd.

-high school debater

[excreationist]

Originally posted by LadyShea
Typical hypocrisy on that thread. Homosexuals are hellbound because they continue to live in sin, but adulterers (simply by being divorced and married to another) can continue to live in sin but its okay?
Maybe the brief act of marrying someone else is what is sinful? So remaining in that marriage could be ok... (After all, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says not to get divorced...)

[SiliconWolf]

Originally posted by VonEvilstein
That well known reality denier and possible bot from FARK.com (http://www.fark.com), Bevets (http://www.bevets.com).

That's a name I haven't heard in a while. Does FARK still let him post? I never read too many of his posts, but he certainly had the reputation for being the royal cheese nutball.

[RaspberrySwirl]

most fundy person i know? hmmm...most fundy person i know...most fundy person...eh, screw it, i've got a list!! :D

1. my dad ... loves "the 700 club" and thinks jokers like rush limbaugh and dr.laura are "good people". didn't let me listen to secular rock music as a kid because all rock stars were satanists who slipped backward masked debil stuff into their music. was extremely unhappy when i got a job at a lite rock radio station (*gasp*) and had to leave church a little early in order to make it to work on time on sundays. :rolleyes:

2. my sister ... who, during her brief time as a counciller/social worker, was of the opinion that in some cases the person had genuine mental/emotional problems...but the rest of the time it was "just sin" (said in snotty, nasal, southern drawl). :mad:

3. my husband's bestfriend's mother ... who frequently brings my mother-in-law these cheesy romance novels with all the "dirty" words and scenes crossed out in black magic marker. she's also been hounding my husband's bestfriend (who's in the process of getting divorced) to stop hanging around with his "un-godly" friends, get back to church and get right with the lawrd. he's also not supposed to get married again because he'd be committing adultery. :rolleyes:

4. the parents of a guy my husband used to go to school with ... they were pentacostal preachers and didn't refer to themselves by their first names at all. instead they called each other "brother (last name)" and "sister (last name)". :eek:

...there are plenty more, considering i live in a teeny, tiny bible-belted southern community. but those stick out the most.

[Albion]

That's a name I haven't heard in a while. Does FARK still let him post? I never read too many of his posts, but he certainly had the reputation for being the royal cheese nutball.

Well, he spent some time being his usual delightful self at the Beliefnet creation-evolution board; a few days ago I saw him at the Christian Forums creation-evolution board doing his "evolution is an atheist lie" stuff. So he's still around, and it looks as if he hasn't improved with keeping.

[Born Free]

Every single one of my aunts and uncles on my mother's side and there are 12 of them. Actually I counted my mum there and an uncle who disappeared and has never been heard of since the early 50's so in reality that makes 10. 10 intefering, devout pain in the backsides. Some are scarier than others but most of them are so catholic fundified it's terrifying.

One example I can remember of really knowing how bad they were is of my uncle outside teaching my 6 year old cousin some woodwork/carpentry I smiled at the sight but the smile changed to jaw dropping as after 10 minutes he started the little boy saying the whole fecking rosary!!! I mean for crying out loud that's brutal.

I always, always stood up to the lot of them from around 9 years old and thank gawd it worked, I was painted as the black sheep, the odd child and there were a few over heard comments such as "well what do you expect when she's so like her father who's a commie???" which caused a huge row with my mother because I told them not to talk about my father like that but mostly they left me alone.

Now and again as I've grown up there has been some friction once when my uncle (the previous one I talked about) admired my oldest son and thought there was something "special" about him then said "he'd make a fine priest" I spat out "over my dead body he will" and that caused a little rumpus I can tell you.

One of my aunts is in love with mother Teresa and positively glows talking about her, she loves to go on retreats and the like she never married but didn't funnily enough become a nun. None of them went into any vocation but they loved to pray that one of us kids did.

Another of my uncles used to love lecturing us about hell, the 3 dark days and the commies. He tried it in 96 for the last time because I had a hangover after my cousin's wedding in Ireland. I'd went for a lie down and woke up to see him with one foot on the bed, leaning on his knee and ready to start. Well it was light blue touch paper and retire to a safe distance as I bluntly reminded him that I was now 29 and if I wanted a lecture on religion I'd ask for it. He didn't bother though, just said "fair enough" and walked away. He was the uncle from hell apparently to the rest of my 30 odd cousins when they were children although since I'd never taken any crap from him found he was alright with me.

I'm just glad my father was a strong man, he was a catholic but never practiced which was always a source of great stress for mum especially when the priest came for a visit heh heh he'd get ripped into him LOL it was funny to watch. My sister went on a trip to a nunnery with the school once and came home saying she wanted to be one, my father hit the roof and banned us all from going to mass for ages. My dad rocked!!!

When he died the intefering old biddies came over and took over a lot of things. The mother Teresa loving one told me he was in purgatory and yet again big mouth here stood up with a face like thunder saying "crap" and walking away. I paid dearly for that one since there were a lot of people in the room at the time and she was embarrassed but I don't care, she's a headbanger. Another one of them even tried to convert my partner on the day of the funeral. The same aunt was looking through the church bulletin a couple of days previous and not thinking said to my son "oh look Craig you could get into that" (altar boy) then she saw me growling and said "oh I forgot you don't....." end of conversation.

They're all fucking loopy and ignorant and I can't tolerate them for long. They all know deep down I'm a heathen but I've never came right out and said it. Biding my time, when mum goes (touch wood and hairy wood for extra protection) I will be happy to correct this.

Sorry this has turned out so long oops once I started it seems I couldn't stop!!!


Editing this to add;

Actually one of them is pretty decent, I'd forgotten about her. She's the aunt whose only crime was to forego marriage to a man she loved because she was too devoted to my gran. She's the one who to this day looks after her 24/7 and my gran is senile and very hard work. She's religious but loves Elvis and will talk to you like a human. She is also the only one who ever stuck up for me. Yeah she's alright.

[Manta]

There are quite a few odd ducks (not meaning in the least to insult any real ducks out there) where I currently work - one woman's son died as a result of a car crash...maybe 6 weeks to 2 months ago. I happened to see the funeral announcement...

"Sunrise (birth date) - sunset (date of death)" and some other stuff about being called home ad nauseum... :rolleyes:

Yes, her son's death was tragic - but ...just...ugh. What's funnier is she gave the "blessing" (returned thanks...whatever) when my department gave me a going-away dinner last week. There's ONE person that knows I'm a non-believer...and I just looked at her & laughed - she knew that my head wouldn't be bowed along with everyone else's. It wasn't worth the shitstorm (especially in my last week - they got me lots of goodies :D) I'd get from these people to ask them to NOT give me a blessing. What's funny is I think the manager is also a non-believer, but in his position, he's got to give lip service...which REALLY sux.

The other individual who thinks she's such a "Christian &trade;" fasts every Wednesday. Why? I dunno. She goes to prayer meetings ...I think daily...etc etc. Yet she has no problem sneaking up behind me, standing there all quietly & reading what's on my computer screen. She's got no problem asking me "did I pray about it" and messing in my business...how I should have stayed with him (um..hell NO!) - reference to my divorce...The more I think about her, the more I want to throttle her. Tell her "I don't consider myself a Christian, but I'm more of one that you will EVER be" . Sneaky woman. She will also goad people into arguments, treat folks like children...and ugh. I confounded her once by saying "not all those who go to church go to heaven, and not all those that are in heaven may have ever set foot in church" - I forget why I was even bothering...but that was before I finally decided I was an atheist, so I was still semi-delusional.

I'm glad that this Thursday is my last day.

Look for smoke in the direction of Columbia SC. There might be a few burning bridges here that afternoon :D

[Aravnah Ornan]

A partner where I used to work thought I was a Satanist because I had reproductions of Thomas Cole's Voyage of Life paintings in my office. He also said that groups like the Christian Coalition were too liberal for his tastes, that the Presbyterian Church isn't sufficiently faithful to the Bible, and that we should all live under Old Testament law. With regard to the last, he never said whether he agreed with the more outlandish OT laws, and he made not the slightest attempt to keep kosher. Gotta love that selective absolutism in which fundies are so well versed.

On top of that, he treated the staff and associates in a truly reprehensible manner every chance he got. Even some of the other partners talked about his behavior behind his back. Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love.