An unusual predicatment

[Kesric]

Hello

I am a long-time reader and a very sporadic poster. I am hoping that somebody has heard of a similar predicament:

During the last 7-8 years, I have observed these sympthoms, which have started out as simple annoyances, but have built up to a level that has changed my life completely:

-a general loss of awareness, and a feeling of always being on "automatic" I feel like I am a million miles away, and my actions are not occuring with direct involvement.
-a loss of senses, especially vision (I am not losing my eyesight, but I have been unable to take in most of my range of vision, only restricted to a small area. note that I can still react to events occuring out of the corner of my eye [like a ball aimed straight at me])
-a loss of attention span and concentration. I can't focus on anything for more than five seconds without "blanking out"
-a general feeling of numbness and tiredness, even though I now have to sleep 12-13 hours a night
-a loss of mental prowess, creativity, and memory. (basically- I feel like an idiot now, there was a time when I was considered very bright)
-a heat intolerance and a resistance to cold. It feels more like a heat that comes from within.

Now I walk around in a fog, always racing from one activity to the next, since I will lose my concentration so quickly. This situation is made worse by the fact that my mother is a new ager. As far as the field of real medicine goes, I have been diagnosed with depression and have been on several anti-depressants in the past. But, my mother has spent more time and energy diagnosing me through more esoteric means.(trust me-the word "esoteric" is an understatement for the wackiness here). She has dragged me to cranial-sacral Reiki therapists, soul-cleansers, and hypnotists. (among others).

I don't have many outlets left. This summer, I lost the ability to read books, though I can still struggle through short messages for about 30 seconds at a time. It takes a great effort even to write this message. For the past few years, I have been virtually unstimulated since every experience in life has been so dulled out. I have been unable to exercise my mind, since every worthwhile mental ability has become dormant to me over this entire process which started the better part of a decade ago.

Now, my mother takes me to a neural feedback specialist. The claim goes like this: go in for the $200 evauation session, then spend $50 a session "retraining your mind." My digital EEG says that my alpha brain waves spike every 5-7 seconds(which should only happen during sleep), thus destroying my concontration. They claim that if one stares at a computer screen which displayes brainwave activity for 30 minute sessions, and wills the brainwaves to return to their normal state while hearing an audio reward cue, they will be cured. Of course I am dubious at best, but my mother insists that I continue. It's not that I don't trust the EEG, I don't trust the "treatment." At least this lady isn't telling me that I'm a 500,000 year old spirit or that I was abducted by aliens. Still, I want an opinion from the "real" doctors.

I honestly don't know which direction to go in next. I'm a sophomore at the local community college who still lives at home. I'm thinking of just dropping out, since it is almost impossible to learn now. My phsychiatrist has prescribed some simulation called Adderall, but my mother will not allow me to take any medication since my mother claims those doctors are "evil and just want to stuff pills down everybody's throats). I long since lost my circle of friends and everything else that is interesting in life. Being in Kansas doesn't help, either. (one of the last people I still talk to is a Christian fundamentalist who supports the people who want evolution out of schools again- looks like that issue is coming back) ...and, my mother believes that I have "lost my soul" since I am an atheist. (she's a good person, but it's hard to have conversations with her since she thought the sun was closer to Earth than the moon).

Any input would be appreciated. My mind is shot from writing this and I must take a nap...

-----Eric
"Kesric"

[Viti]

How old are you? I suggest you go to your school counselor and tell him/her that your mother won't get you proper medical treatment and you have severe symptoms affecting you tremendously...that can be considered abuse in many jusrisdictions and you can get some real help with a court order if necessary. I can't imagine taking a sick kid to a bunch of crystal wavers...thats unacceptable!

I am moving this to Science and Skepticism where the medical types hang out.

[Viti]

I see you are in college, so you must be over 18. Your mother can't tell you whether you can take meds or not now. Do you have medical insurance? Go to a doctor by yourself that is covered on it. Ask the school to recommend someone...you may have a serious health issue...don't let it continue!

[LateApex]

Eric,

I have a sister who takes Adderall and swears by it. Give it a shot. If you are still on your parent's health plan, but are over 18, go see the docs you think you need to see and leave the quacks to your mom.

One note...I can recall some feelings like what you describe when I was in college. Mostly because I was taking too many hours in the semester. And it is somewhat normal for teens and young adults to want lots of sleep...but probably not to the amounts that you indicate. I seem to recall getting 8hrs per night and adding 1-2 hrs of naps in the day during the first couple of years of college.

Hope it works out and things begin to get better...

[pmurray]

"Neural feedback specialist"? Jesus fucking christ on a stick! The main damage that these people do is not just the treatments themselves (poisonous herbs, dangerous spinal "realignments"), but steering people away from treatments that might work.

Go see a real doctor. Go to your local medical centre. Go to a hospital. See a person with six years (and more) of proper goddamn university education. Describe your symptoms. Get real treatment.

Ignore your mother's stupid ideas. She has no clue - getting her opinions from astrology columns, no doubt. There is no real help for you there. Go get some. Explain your situation (dumbass mother) to the medical professional. They will understand, if you are a minor. Do it, and soon.

[RoddyM]

I suggest checking your blood sugar. It's not meant to be a trite, smart ass explanation that "trivializes" your problem but can explain why some peoples real and complex problems can become overwhelming.

[deano]

dood,it sounds like you have a food allergy,or adverse reactions to food colourants and preservatives.

try eating only healthy home made food for a few weeks and see if theirs and difference.

also go to a nutritionist and have a word,and get some allergy testing done.

do you do much physical exercise?,if not,play some sports,they are great for energy levels and the immune system.

good luck

[LateApex]

Originally posted by RoddyM
I suggest checking your blood sugar. It's not meant to be a trite, smart ass explanation that "trivializes" your problem but can explain why some peoples real and complex problems can become overwhelming.
This is a very good advice...low blood sugar (Hypoglycemia) can create similar effects to what you describe.

Regardless...go see a real doctor.

[vagrant]

Have your thyroid checked. Its involved in controlling temperature and metabolism. Imbalances can affect concentration, etc.

In more direct terms...go see a doctor.

[Godless Dave]

It could also be a neurological disorder. A bunch of geeks on a website are not qualified to diagnose you, and neither is your crystal-communing mother. You must see a doctor!

[liquid]

Unforunately I don't think I can offer you much advice beyond what's been said, but I'd like to mention that the way you describe your condition really interests me.

You've been diagnosed as clinically depressed, for instance, and yet very few of the symptoms you describe seem to be purely psychological.

Having been depressed (but not clinically depressed I would say! just like most people are from time to time) in the past it's interesting to look back and see how it affects you in other ways.

Thankfully I seem to be exceptionally stable in my self confidence nowadays. It's more of mystery to me how that has happened than feeling down for a couple of months when I was in my teens! Good luck.

Actually, thinking about it, I suppose I could say eat well, drink plenty of water, get regularised sleep and spend time being social. Most people do none of those things consistently, and it's always more of an effort to do them than it sounds, but they do seem to make a big difference to people's wellbeing.

[Kesric]

Thank you for the replies.

I am 21 years old, and I still live at home. I don't have any personal medical insurance, but my perents have insurance which covers me. That means I must do their bidding. I would move out on my own, but in this condition, it is impossible.

I don't want to cause any strife in my family, and I love my mother dearly (even though she has some odd beliefs. She isn't to the point where she has crystals laying around- it's more of a light Christianity/new age influence thing.)

In reference to the other comments, I have had my thyroid checked, and it is fine. When I was a child, I have allergies to certain foods, but that has since faded away. I would grudgingly go on with this neuralfeedback "treatment," as long as she lets me get other opinions and treatments, but she can't seem to spend the money on mainstream doctors, while we spend money on this.

The heat wave we are having has worsened my condition, since I cannot tolerate heat at all. It feels like it stores up inside me, and radiates out, causing me to feel faint and even more non-existant than usual. I do drink plenty of water, though I must admit my diet could be better. I basically have no social life. With every life experience being dulled down to nothing, I have no interests whatsoever. Without interests, it is hard to make friends. I spend much of time just blanked out. Before, I would be in thought during these periods, but now my mind is silent.

Thank-you

Eric

[liquid]

I am 21 years old, and I still live at home. I don't have any personal medical insurance, but my perents have insurance which covers me. That means I must do their bidding. I would move out on my own, but in this condition, it is impossible.

Hmm, same age as me then. Got to say that I am surprised and not quite sure that you can't determine your own treatment. As an adult, you are almost certainly allowed to make your own decisions in law about your medical treatment regardless of the fact that you don't own the policy yourself.

You see, the policy is basically a contract listing the type of procedures that will be paid for and premium you must pay to maintain the contract. The owner of the policy, I am 99% certain, has no clinical control over any of the covered persons whatsoever. That is between the person and their doctor only.

Of course, they might remove you from the policy or refuse to fill out the claim, but frankly it would be unethical and pretty negligent if your mother would not do that for you. Would she really refuse you treatment if you pushed for it? You might even be able to claim yourself. Sure she might be concerned at first but frankly I think you are choosing the greater of two evils if you opt for not rocking the boat over treatment. If you have a clinical diagnosis, then treatment is the priority.

I feel sorry for you about the social aspect, it's a bit of a viscious circle. I could tell you to make the effort but I think you probably understand anyway. At least you are talking to us but it's not the same as real contact.

got to add a disclaimer that none of this advice comes from someone who is a doctor, lawyer or psychologist! It's just personal.

If I were you, I would make and attend another doctors appointment, saying what you have said here and also explaining the insurance situation. I'd contact a counsellor too. In fact, I'd be so strong as to say go and make an appointment now with the doctor, or at least when office hours open.

[RoddyM]

Kesric, if you have had your thyroid function checked it is likely that your blood sugar was also checked, and found to be normal since you would otherwise have been told.

If you have a problem with carbohydrate metabolism it won't necessarily show up as tested by a single measure of your blood glucose.

Someone who is diabetic, unaware of their condition and untreated with insulin or whatever, can experience the symptoms you describe yet will still have a normal blood sugar concentration some of the time.

I walked around in a fog, irritable and depressed for years, and then one day I bought some Glucostix from a pharmacy went straight to a toilet and turned a strip purple. (I'm still irritable and depressed.)

And I'm an RN. And for ten years I figured that feeling like shit was normal.

Kesric, it may not be diabetes, but for me it was and is. And again, I am not suggesting that your problem can be trivialized by medicalizing it. The "medical model" sucks big time but you can test your blood sugar without getting involved or becoming dependant upon "medicine" and the politics that goes with it.

LateApex was kind enough to commend my earlier post but demonstrated the common misconception. Undiagnosed hypoglycaemia is very rare. Hypoglycaemia occurs most commonly amongst people who have already being diagnosed and are using insulin.

The symptoms you describe are more likely to be those of chronic or frequent hyperglycaemia than occasional hypoglycaemia.

[reprise]

While I appreciate that you "don't want to cause any strife", we are talking about your health here. And we're talking about the possibility that any delay in the diagnosis and treatment of your condition could have lasting, longterm, consequences.

My first suggestion would be to absolutely refuse to consult with the "alternative medicine" practitioners your mother wishes you to see. If you aren't prepared to stand up for yourself on the issue of your health at the age of 21, I wonder on what other issues you will allow your mother to determine your course of action in the future.

Money is clearly not an issue for your mother, given the amount she is paying these woo-woos. The real issue is that your mother is not prepared to respect your choices in respect of your own health care. I'm sorry, but if you were a minor your mother's attitude would border on neglect. The fact that she will pay for your health care if you consult the practitioners of her choice but "refuses" to allow you to take prescribed medications sounds to me like a very conditional kind of love and concern to be imposing on an adult.

Quite seriously, it's time for you to take control of your own health care even if that means having to wait hours to see a qualified doctor at a walk-in clinic. And it's also time to let mum know that your aren't going be attending any future appointments with people who are not qualified medical practitioners and whose services to date have failed to accomplish any result other than depleting your mother's bank balance.

Good luck, and let us know how things work out.

[deano]

after reading your second post i can see that your problem is a mental one.

i promise you,if you go out there and start doing stuff you will feel normal again.

join a gym now, seriously now!,dont hesitate,do it now!

[Kesric]

I really doubt this is just a mental problem. It feels like something is horribly wrong on a fundamental level. I didn't shy away from the world for any reason other than the fact that I felt less "present" in the world.

It is difficult to get involved in anything, since years of little or no stimulation have left me a bland person without any passions. Up until a year or two ago, I could still muster the concentration to enjoy activities online, but now, even that enjoyment is pretty much beyond my reach.

I would exercise, but any activity causes heat to build up inside. If I continue much longer, I feel like I am about to pass out.

I don't know if this information helps, but I was on Celexa for depression until recently. My psychiatrist has prescribed Adderall and Providgil, but I am not allowed to fill those prescriptions. If anybody can dig up information on PhD Penny Montgomery of Kansas City, Missouri, I'd like to read it. That is who my mother makes me see for neuralfeedback "therapy". Don't ask me what her PhD is in, I don't know.

I would be out in the world already, but previous lofty dreams have been reduced to just trying to get through each day without passing out from the heat or losing awareness while driving.(I am considering resigning my driver's license) As long as I'm here, I guess I'm under my mother's control.

Thank you

Eric

[deano]

go see a doctor man,they have trained many years to answer these sorta questions!.

[Godless Dave]

Originally posted by Kesric
My psychiatrist has prescribed Adderall and Providgil, but I am not allowed to fill those prescriptions.

What do you mean by "not allowed"? Does your mother have armed guards at the door of your house 24/7? Call a cab to take you to the pharmacy and have the prescriptions filled while you wait.

[queue]

Hello Kesric,

I am going to echo others who have said to go see a doctor. If you cannot do that for whatever reasons, you could try sending a PM to Dr. Rick and/or scigirl here at II. Dr. Rick is a doctor in Colorado and scigirl is just starting her second year of medical school in Colorado. I do not know if they will be able to do anything over the internet besides recommending that you go see a doctor, but it gives you something to try.

[deano]

if your mother or anyone ever tries to stop you doing anything you want and HAVE to do,tell them to go f**k themselves.

[Wyz_sub10]

I have Penny Montgomery listed as a psychologist, although I do not know where she received her PhD, which makes a big difference.

In any case, if you want I can get you the name of a physician you can see in Kansas City.

While the comments by our members are definitely sincere and well-meant, I would only ask that you see a physician directly and consider the advice given here as information you can ask your physician about.

[scigirl]

Originally posted by queue
scigirl is just starting her second year of medical school in Colorado. I do not know if they will be able to do anything over the internet besides recommending that you go see a doctor, [/B]

Yeah pretty much what everybody else said. Go see one of those people in the white coats. . . it's what they are there for. Perhaps you'll need to itemize your "issues" because you probably won't find answers to everything in one 15 minute visit. Try to figure out what is most bothersome, and work on one issue at a time (of course they could be inter-related).

Also - it sounds like that you feel isolated, in addition to having medical issues. I think that trying to find some common friends - atheists or freethinkers in your area - will help out at least in that realm. Good luck,

scigirl

[Craig]

Originally posted by Kesric

I would exercise, but any activity causes heat to build up inside. If I continue much longer, I feel like I am about to pass out.


Depression and/or anxiety disorders can also cause a lot of the symptoms you describe, especially the fear of passing out from heat.

I had a few anxiety related issues a couple years ago, and did some research into them. Fortunately they were mild and easily treatable, but they can have a profound impact on you physically.

Loss of interest and concentration are two very common symptoms of an anxiety disorder.

Like everyone has said, see a doctor about this.