A question for men (ladies welcome to comment too)

[sergeyvladimirovich]

Would you tolerate having a girlfriend/wife who is or was at some point a prostitute?

Suppose you find out either by yourself or from her personally that she was or is a prostitute. Please share your reaction, your thoughts.

(I'll be honest: I'll dump her the next minute I find out. I'm not saying she is evil but for some things I have a strong dislike. Kind of like some people hate some kinds of foods (without a rational reason), I would hate getting close to a prostitute. But that's just my humble taste.)

[BDS]

I don't know. But I wouldn't pay the going rate!

[meritocrat]

I'd dump her.

I have no real problem with prostitution, nevertheless she'd be having sex with other men whom I wouldn't even know. Part of the basis of a monogamous relationship is that you only are intimate with one person (,i.e. evidently your partner).

[Loren Pechtel]

To me that would spell an incompatibility in attitudes towards sex that I don't think I could accept.

[Chicken Girl]

Originally posted by meritocrat
I'd dump her.

I have no real problem with prostitution, nevertheless she'd be having sex with other men whom I wouldn't even know. Part of the basis of a monogamous relationship is that you only are intimate with one person (,i.e. evidently your partner).

what if she used to be a prostitute but isn't anymore?

[meritocrat]

I wouldn't care about her past sexual activities. If she was now I would dump her.

[sergeyvladimirovich]

Originally posted by meritocrat
I wouldn't care about her past sexual activities. If she was now I would dump her.

What if you were looking for a girlfriend and found a female who had been a prostitute in the past? So she isn't your gf yet and you found that out, would you consider her as one? Would you marry an ex-prostitute?

Like I said, I'd have trouble with that.

[Buddrow_Wilson]

I married an ex-prostitute, but I doubt I could maintain a relationship with someone who is currently one.

[cjack]

Currently a prostitute?

I'd drop her like a live grenade.

Had been a prostitute at some point?

Depends upon a couple of things.

If she were up front about her past, and it was clear that such activities are no longer a part of her life, then I'd probably be okay with it.

If for example I were married to a woman and found out that she'd been hiding such a fact from me...I can't say I'd dump her, but it would certainly cause big problems in the relationship!

[sergeyvladimirovich]

Seems to me like most men would be uncomfortable about having a prostitute (ex- or current) as their mate. And this is on an infidel discussion board where you have a collection of most liberal and unimpeded individuals....

At the same time most people do not oppose prostitution (I also posted a thread listing benefits of legalizing it)...So what we have, really, is "I have nothing against prostitution but I would never date or marry a prostitute".

So what's up, guys? Isn't prostitution just another job? Anyway, our lady would probably go to work every day, so why don't we mind her being a teacher but mind her being a prostitute? I think regardless of our liberality, we almost all have that association of prostitutes with something unclean and unwholesome. And when we say "I have nothing against prostitutes" what we don't say is that we wouldn't really respect and accept a prostitute the way we would a regular woman. Do I smell some subtle double standard?

[Dr Rick]

Originally posted by sergeyvladimirovich
Do I smell some subtle double standard?

Liberalism means toleration, including tolerating things, ideas, and people that we may not personally like or practice. Being a liberal means tolerating a strict Muslim, a prostitute, and a flaming homosexual, but it doesn't require a willingness to date or marry any one of them.

[Derec]

I would not date an active prostitute. If I found out she was one while we were dating I would dump her just because she had sex with other men while we were dating. If she told me that at the beginning of an relationship I would ask her to stop doing this while we are dating.

If she used to be a prostituite I could date her but I would ask for a test for HIV and other STDs (and would sumbit to one myself for fairness sake).

A lot depends on what type of prostitiute she was too. There is a lot of difference between street walkers and nice escorts.

UMoC

Edited to add: I would be much more comfortable dating a woman who had enjoyed her work than a woman who hated it but did it regardless, per Loren's reasoning (see below).

[sergeyvladimirovich]

A lot depends on what type of prostitiute she was too. There is a lot of difference between street walkers and nice escorts.


To tell you the truth, I have more dislike for "nice escorts". With street walkers the odds are that she did it out of an extreme financial need or horrible environment-- not quite her fault. With expensive Wh*res they do it to get a nice life, instead of working a regular but decent job-- the choice is completely theirs. These, in my opinion, are sell-outs devoid of morality and I can have no respect for them whatsoever.

Another matter (and this is common place outside of the West) is when a girl has a child or seek parents to feed and there's no other way for her to do it other than sell her body. She typically hates what she's doing but sees no other way. I would have trouble judging her and if she was sincere about her past and saw it as a tragic period of her life, I would probably accept that. In Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment", actually, there is a heroine Sonya Marmeladova who provides for her family that way and Dostoevsky portrays it as a heroic sacrifice and considers her to be one of the most pure-hearted characters in the book.

But I'm in America, and in America most men and women can feed themselves doing "normal" jobs. Working in Walmart, of course, you live in near-poverty (at least here in California) but you won't starve and you will have a roof over your head(alas, a rented roof). If a woman decides to get away from that life by becoming a "nice escort" in my eyes she would be just as good as dead-- she did it not out of a dire need but for personal enjoyement.

[Loren Pechtel]

Originally posted by sergeyvladimirovich

So what's up, guys? Isn't prostitution just another job? Anyway, our lady would probably go to work every day, so why don't we mind her being a teacher but mind her being a prostitute? I think regardless of our liberality, we almost all have that association of prostitutes with something unclean and unwholesome. And when we say "I have nothing against prostitutes" what we don't say is that we wouldn't really respect and accept a prostitute the way we would a regular woman. Do I smell some subtle double standard?

It's not a double standard. We feel that there is nothing inherently wrong about prostitution. However, it's just not for us, either as customers or marrying those in the profession.

To me at least, prostitution involves an attitude towards sex that's not mine. I don't want the physical act without an emotional connection, and I want a partner who sees it the same way. No prostitute is going to have such an attitude.

It's not the prostitution per se that I'm objecting to, but rather it's indicating an incompatibility.

At the very edge I wouldn't have a problem with it. Consider the full-service massage business, where the woman does that last lilttle bit that's skipped in a legit massage. I wouldn't have any problem with my wife having done this at some time in the past, and the only problem with her doing it on a current basis would be the risk of operating on the wrong side of the law. To me, the line falls at the point that she's the one being touched.

[Loren Pechtel]

Originally posted by sergeyvladimirovich

Another matter (and this is common place outside of the West) is when a girl has a child or seek parents to feed and there's no other way for her to do it other than sell her body. She typically hates what she's doing but sees no other way. I would have trouble judging her and if she was sincere about her past and saw it as a tragic period of her life, I would probably accept that.

This sort of experience would probably produce such a negative attittude about sex that I would be worried about a relationship, but the act itself wouldn't make her unacceptable in my eyes.

[Derec]

Originally posted by sergeyvladimirovich
To tell you the truth, I have more dislike for "nice escorts". With street walkers the odds are that she did it out of an extreme financial need or horrible environment-- not quite her fault. With expensive Wh*res they do it to get a nice life, instead of working a regular but decent job-- the choice is completely theirs. These, in my opinion, are sell-outs devoid of morality and I can have no respect for them whatsoever.


This reasoning can only apply if you find an intristic moral fault with providing sexual services for money. I do not see anything wrong with prostitution as such on moral grounds.


If a woman decides to get away from that life by becoming a "nice escort" in my eyes she would be just as good as dead-- she did it not out of a dire need but for personal enjoyement.

What's wrong with "personal enjoyment"? Is an act somehow less moral because you don;'t hate it but might even enjoy it?
Strange sense of morality to be sure.

UMoC

[meritocrat]

Originally posted by sergeyvladimirovich
What if you were looking for a girlfriend and found a female who had been a prostitute in the past? So she isn't your gf yet and you found that out, would you consider her as one? Would you marry an ex-prostitute?



If she was in the past I wouldn't really care. Her past activities (provided they provided no direct problems in the present) would be of no consequence to me.

[tronvillain]

sergeyvladimirovich:
Would you tolerate having a girlfriend/wife who is or was at some point a prostitute?
Well, for someone to be my girlfriend or wife we have to assume quite a few things, such as sexual compatibility, a lack of major psychological problems, a relatively clean bill of health, and so on. Anyway, assuming this is the sort of person I would want as a girlfriend or wife, would I tolerate her being or having been a prostitute? Well, I would have zero problem with her having been a prostitute, but I might have a problem with her currently being one. I would have concerns about her safety and health, but if those were dealt with and we were sexually compatible (as we have already assumed) I would have no problem with her choosing that as a career. So, I am a little irritated by you calling women who make such a career choice "sell-outs devoid of morality" and have no respect for you whatsoever.

[reprise]

For those males who said they'd have a problem if a woman had been a prostitute in the past :

Would the period of time for which she'd been a sex worker be relevant (say, 2-3 weeks versus a period of months). Is the issue really that she had sex with strangers or that she took money for doing so?

Would you also reject as a partner a woman who had never been a prostitute but who had a large number of sexual partners before she met you? How many previous sexual partners would be the "deal-breaker" from your viewpoint.

From my own viewpoint. No, I would not be disturbed by my partner having been a sex worker in the past (in fact, I been out with a couple of guys who did have sex for money at one time in their lives) - I'd have more of an issue with something like their having been a drug-dealer.

[The Other Michael]

We need a bit more moral foundations and principles material in the posts if this is going to stay here - otherwise it is sounding like MD material.

cheers,
Michael
MF&P Moderator (Maximus)

[reprise]

Originally posted by The Other Michael
We need a bit more moral foundations and principles material in the posts if this is going to stay here - otherwise it is sounding like MD material.

cheers,
Michael
MF&P Moderator (Maximus)

It certainly sounds like morality is the issue here for those who are saying it would be an issue in their relationship. ;)

[Loren Pechtel]

Originally posted by reprise
Is the issue really that she had sex with strangers or that she took money for doing so?

Would you also reject as a partner a woman who had never been a prostitute but who had a large number of sexual partners before she met you? How many previous sexual partners would be the "deal-breaker" from your viewpoint.


Yeah, it's the sex with strangers, not the money.

[reprise]

Originally posted by Loren Pechtel
Yeah, it's the sex with strangers, not the money.

Is this an absolute? Or are a few one night stands in high school or college excusable but no recent casual sex?

I'm not trying to be difficult here, but I think one of the reasons why religious doctrines relating to sex are so appealing to people is that they are simple. Something is either acceptable, or it isn't, and so people don't have to determine their own particular viewpoint on specific issues and - perhaps even more importantly - ask themselves why they hold that viewpoint. I'm curious about what influences the sexual mores of my fellow atheists and why.

[Keith Russell]

Good evening.

Like most of you, the past is the past.

If a woman would trust me enough to tell me about being a prostitute in the past, I would trust her enough to be faithful to me in the present.

As for casual sex in the past, again, the past is the past.

My wife had numerous lovers before me (she's eleven years my seniour). We were each married one time before marrying, but she has had far more 'experience' than I did.

And I'm the beneficiary of that experience, now.

A very good thing, I assure you.

K

[Loren Pechtel]

Originally posted by reprise
Is this an absolute? Or are a few one night stands in high school or college excusable but no recent casual sex?

I'm not trying to be difficult here, but I think one of the reasons why religious doctrines relating to sex are so appealing to people is that they are simple. Something is either acceptable, or it isn't, and so people don't have to determine their own particular viewpoint on specific issues and - perhaps even more importantly - ask themselves why they hold that viewpoint. I'm curious about what influences the sexual mores of my fellow atheists and why.

I don't know what I would do about such things in the far past.

One night stands imply an attitude about sex that I do not share, and I would not want a partner who took that attitude towards sex.

[reprise]

How many of those who have answered that it would matter to them if a person with whom they wanted a relationship had been a sex worker would find it extremely difficult to come to terms with that knowledge but still pursue the relationship albeit cautiously, and for how many would it be a total deal-breaker (no matter how great the relationship was apart from this one issue)?

[Odemus]

My wife is a prostitute, and a darn good one from what I hear. She's also a wonderful, loving mother and wife.

[Mister Impossible]

I would dump her. No question, no discussion.

[sergeyvladimirovich]

Thank you for your opinions. Morality (and this is what we're getting into here) is not a matter of logic but a matter of belief. Beliefs are irrational by definition so whoever has a moral stand on a certain issue (prostitution in this case) will not be able to prove anything to somebody who doesn't share their beliefs. I really started this thread because I wanted to know people's opinions on the issue.

I see that some people have no problem even with the mothers of their children selling their bodies. It is repugnant to me but hardly are there any arguments to convince so whoever holds such liberal views. I just feel strongly that a family woman being a prostitute is unacceptable-- the same way, perhaps, some of you feel killing is unacceptable, stealing is unacceptable or having sex with your own child is unacceptable. All of these "unaccpetables" are such because of what people have inside their hearts...

My heart tells me that selling your body for sex is one of the most dehumanizing things that somebody can do. I would not be able to respect a prostitute except in the cases where the woman enters the profession out of extreme material need to take care of somebody else (in which case I view it as a heroic sacrifice). Many prostitutes grew up in unstable families and violent environments; in this case I have to admit it is not entirely their fault. However, if somebody had a choice NOT to become a prostitute (no matter how humble their life would be) but did not make that choice, I say what I said in one of my previous posts: I have no respect for them whatsoever. I try not to despise anybody but some people I simply would not consider as of my own kind-- they just as well could be Martians for all I care.

A final note is on understanding. If a woman used to be the "wrong" (by my definition) kind of prostitute in the past but now sees her past life as a terrible mistake...If, like Christians would say, she "repented" and decided to become "clean" in that respect and is sincere about that, I would not reject her but try to help her to achieve that, which I (and she) believe is good. However, if she has the "so what" or "I just wanted to experiment" or "I needed some money" attitude-- there is no place for her in my life.

[Viti]

The legal aspects would worry me in such a situation. What if your wife was arrested? How would you feel about paying attorney's fees? Prostitituting where it is illegal is also more dangerous as you go to motel rooms alone with the men, and have no saftey net.

I know my husband would not have an issue if I went to work a few weeks a year at one of Nevada's legal brothels where it is safe, clean and regulated.

[Dr Rick]

Originally posted by Odemus
My wife is a prostitute, and a darn good one from what I hear.

You have it on hearsay that your wife is "darn good" at it?! Why not pay her and find out yourself? Better yet, she's your wife; maybe you could convince her to throw you a "freebie" every now and then...

[Buddrow_Wilson]

My (most likely ex) wife that was a prostitute and I really didn't have enough in common. She was 28 and I was 17 when we got together, and she has 3 children. We were together, off and on, for about 4 years. During the periods that we were seperated we both had a couple outside relationships (I had a couple, she had an non-disclosed quantity). The difference was that I was honest about them and she hid hers. When I found out that she was having sex with someone that had been a friend of mine, I realized that I could no longer live with this woman, and from that point we were just friends. I suspect that the morality that allowed her to be a prostitute was related to her deceit and ease of which she took other "lovers", and so I would say in the future, I doubt I would be trusting of a former prostitute. However, I can't say this with certainty because everyone has differing motivations for the actions they have taken. I guess in answer to the OP, it depends on the woman and my feelings towards her.

[tronvillain]

sergeyvladimirovich:
Thank you for your opinions. Morality (and this is what we're getting into here) is not a matter of logic but a matter of belief. Beliefs are irrational by definition so whoever has a moral stand on a certain issue (prostitution in this case) will not be able to prove anything to somebody who doesn't share their beliefs. I really started this thread because I wanted to know people's opinions on the issue.
No, beliefs are not irrational by definition, though beliefs may or may not have rational basis. An example of a belief that does have a rational basis is my belief that my television is on in the next room: given the evidence available to me, I estimate the probably of my television being on in the next room to be quite high (almost one in fact).
I see that some people have no problem even with the mothers of their children selling their bodies. It is repugnant to me but hardly are there any arguments to convince so whoever holds such liberal views. I just feel strongly that a family woman being a prostitute is unacceptable-- the same way, perhaps, some of you feel killing is unacceptable, stealing is unacceptable or having sex with your own child is unacceptable. All of these "unaccpetables" are such because of what people have inside their hearts...
I answered a question about a girlfriend or wife, not about the mother of my children (being in a relationship does not necessarily imply the production of children). Still, even if I did have children I am not sure it would bother me, given the assumptions I have already mentioned. Now, I find all of your examples "unacceptable" because in each case someone is likely to be harmed, while it is not clear that is the case with "a family woman being a prostitute", leading me to believe you object to it simply because you find it "icky." It is a perfectly rational reason for objecting to it, but it is not one that I have any respect for.
My heart tells me that selling your body for sex is one of the most dehumanizing things that somebody can do. I would not be able to respect a prostitute except in the cases where the woman enters the profession out of extreme material need to take care of somebody else (in which case I view it as a heroic sacrifice). Many prostitutes grew up in unstable families and violent environments; in this case I have to admit it is not entirely their fault. However, if somebody had a choice NOT to become a prostitute (no matter how humble their life would be) but did not make that choice, I say what I said in one of my previous posts: I have no respect for them whatsoever. I try not to despise anybody but some people I simply would not consider as of my own kind-- they just as well could be Martians for all I care.
I am not sure what you mean by "dehumanizing." Do you mean it has that effect on how the person feels about themself, or it has that effect on how you feel about the person? If someone freely chose prostitution as a career then it seems unlikly that it has such an effect on how they feel about themselves, so that only leaves us with you feel about them. You are free to feel however you like, but forgive me if I say "Who the fuck cares what you think?" We have come back to the "ick factor" again. :rolleyes:

[sergeyvladimirovich]

Tronvillain,


You are free to feel however you like, but forgive me if I say "Who the fuck cares what you think?" We have come back to the "ick factor" again.


LOL!

Uh, well. Who the f*ck cares what anybody thinks? Since forums like this are basically for people to share what they think, they are f*king useless because nobody f*cking cares what anybody else thinks.

So, I guess, unto you your beliefs and unto me mine. And there's f*cking nothing else to it.

[Calzaer]

*shrug*

I'm obviously in the minority here, but there's sex with someone you care about and then there's sex to make a living. The two seem completely dissimilar to me, to such an extent that I'd really have no problem dating a prostitue, past or current, so long as I can be assured there are sufficient protections involved.

Shit, everyone's gotta make a living. If I could get paid to have sex, I'd drop out of college in a heartbeat. I'm not going to apply an "ick" factor to someone else when I wouldn't apply it to myself.

[tronvillain]

sergeyvladimirovich:
Uh, well. Who the f*ck cares what anybody thinks? Since forums like this are basically for people to share what they think, they are f*king useless because nobody f*cking cares what anybody else thinks.

So, I guess, unto you your beliefs and unto me mine. And there's f*cking nothing else to it.
*shrugs* I was simply making a point about how apparently this is just about how prostitution makes you feel, not about how it makes prostitutes feel. People tend not to care if someone objects to something purely on the basis of the "ick factor" rather than on something more substantial.

Oh, and if I could make a living having sex (though obviously I probably can't) I probably would, though not with anyone I found repulsive (which would only make it more difficult). *chuckle*

[reprise]

I should probably point out that I live in a state where prostitution is legal and regulated, so most of the arguments I hear against the industry tend to be based on either morality or "the ick factor".

[CCCP4Ever01]

If I found out that my girlfriend was or is a prostitute, I'd dump her right away. If I found out that my wife is a prostitute I'd give her an option: stop prostituting or it's over. I'm not one to have something to do with that kind of stuff, it's not right. If she wants to keep doing it after we're over, fine by me but not while we're together. I'm kind of a religious fella and as far as I'm concerned she's wrong in doing it and if I allowed her to keep doing it while we were together I'd be in just as much sin as she's in.

[jayh]

Wow I am amazed at some of the responses.

Prostitution is a risky business, but no in any way inherently evil, no different than provideing any other personal service for people.

Especially if a woman was a former prostitue, that would have absolutly zero effect on our relationship. A current one, might be a bit more complicated, but it would depend on a lot of factors in our relationship.

j

[jayh]

(double post deleted by moderator)

[Leah]

little female comment on prostitutes in general:

A job like any other.
Except for that these ladies are clever enough to charge money for something that many women offer anyone coming along for free.
Prostitutes fullfil the needs even of men that would hardly stand the chance to find physical attention any other legal way.

The existance of prostitutes is a fine basis to take legal actions agains rapists.

Besides, the amount of physical partners some (if not many) men or women have had by my age or even a lot younger, is not that far off a professional.

[brighid]

With expensive Wh*res they do it to get a nice life, instead of working a regular but decent job-- the choice is completely theirs. These, in my opinion, are sell-outs devoid of morality and I can have no respect for them whatsoever.

Why should there be any moral difference given the emphasis placed on sexuality in this country? Sadly, the best paying jobs with the best damned hours are stripper and call girl. Is this somehow the fault of a woman who is interested in actually having a nice life?

From what I understand from friends who have worked in the adult industry being an "escort" isn't all about having sex. Many times these girls don't even have sex, but provide companionship, are someone there to listen and other non-sexual stuff.

If sex with multiple partners is not immoral, and payment for sex is not immoral I don't see why receiving payment for sex from multiple partners would be immoral if the motivation is to get ahead in life. It can be argued that it is moral to chose this field and immoral to be forced into it and forced to remain.

I have known many different girls who have done the stripper and/or escort route in order to put themselves through school (such a law school, medical school, etc.) Frankly I see it as more moral and honest then the office ho who sleeps her way to the top, or the girl trolling for rich men in a bar (or at the gymn, country club, etc.)

I would much rather see a woman freely chose to enter this industry with full knowledge of what she is getting into, as well as have the ability to leave when it no longer suits her then I would like to see young girls and women forced to have sex and have a very difficult time leaving an industry not of their chosing. It seems a lot more responsible, and further more I would say that your notion of choice vs. force is quite the double standard.

If a woman is going to be a prostitute then she damn well better be a high priced one. Or as my girls say, if you're gonna be a ho' be a Prada ho' and not a Kmart ho'!


Brighid

[Loren Pechtel]

Originally posted by Leah
Besides, the amount of physical partners some (if not many) men or women have had by my age or even a lot younger, is not that far off a professional.

Well, there's this woman my wife and I know. Privately we call her "city girl"--as in the bed-hopping in Sex in the City.

[99Percent]

I dont think wouldn't dump her because of the fact she was or is a prostitute. However if she lied to me about it and then I found out, I would have serious considerations.

[xorbie]

Well the "found out" portion of the question is what gets me. What, like you end up marrying a woman but don't know her job? Or does she sneak out at night and work the corner?

In any case, I think there is something interesting that nobody here brought up. In any good marriage, the sex should be enhanced because it is between two loving people. It would be odd having sex, at least the way I see it.

I think for the same reason I might be worried about marrying a psychiatrist.... I go to her with a problem, and maybe feel like "can she really tell the difference between me and another customer?" I dunno. Just something to think about.

Also, keep in mind I am 18 and have 0 experience with all of this. Pure guesswork on my part, really.

[keyser_soze]

Didn't read all the replies, but enough to notice something. Everyone appears to subscribe to the "prostitutes are paid" for sex. In reality(but not P.C.) most women are paid for sex, and most men pay for it. If you are in love, yes, you are not paying for it(as long as it is reciprocated), but for the majority of people, sex is paid for. It may not be money, but it is always SOMETHING. Dating and dinners to get your groove on, is as much payment as a 50 on the nightstand. Of course it is an over-simplification, but I don't see it to be rationally anything else.

[brighid]

Didn't read all the replies, but enough to notice something. Everyone appears to subscribe to the "prostitutes are paid" for sex. In reality(but not P.C.) most women are paid for sex, and most men pay for it. If you are in love, yes, you are not paying for it(as long as it is reciprocated), but for the majority of people, sex is paid for. It may not be money, but it is always SOMETHING. Dating and dinners to get your groove on, is as much payment as a 50 on the nightstand. Of course it is an over-simplification, but I don't see it to be rationally anything else.

I think you have a point, but it is definately oversimplified.

At least with a prostitute there is a direct negotiation for what is desired by (usually) the man. He comes to her for very specific reasons and she (or in some cases her madaam or pimp) sets the price. _$ for a blow job _$ p/hour of companionship, etc.

In the case of dating I think it's not so cut and dry, especially since some men feel that an acceptance of a drink, or the purchasing of a movie and date automatically qualifies him for a sexual escapade. This certainly hasn't be negotiated, nor do I feel most dates would proceed if that expectation were set forth in the beginning.

(begin rant)

Frankly, I think that is sad. The use of a prostitute would at least be honest and then the woman could set her price and not be expected to sleep with some guy because he took her to a movie and bought her dinner at Red Lobster. So, for what $35 (for the woman's portion) you get to have sex with her??

Shit ... I don't even think a hooker on Hollywood Blvd. would pimp herself out for that little.

(end rant)

Brighid

edited because I seem to have a spelling problem ...

[Ovazor]

Originally posted by xorbie
Well the "found out" portion of the question is what gets me. What, like you end up marrying a woman but don't know her job? Or does she sneak out at night and work the corner?


Well, the original post was about wife or girlfriend, and I could see why somebody would not tell things like that early in the relationship, and then be afraid to tell it later. And not nearly all prostitutes are full-time, so you could know what she does for a job but not that she turns tricks occassionally.

[Spifmeister]

Almost all prostitutes are forced and not given the choice. So no I would not, but I would get tested as well as here.

If she still is in, then I would get her out of it, and if I could not then I would leave.

[Calzaer]

Didn't read all the replies, but enough to notice something. Everyone appears to subscribe to the "prostitutes are paid" for sex. In reality(but not P.C.) most women are paid for sex, and most men pay for it. If you are in love, yes, you are not paying for it(as long as it is reciprocated), but for the majority of people, sex is paid for. It may not be money, but it is always SOMETHING. Dating and dinners to get your groove on, is as much payment as a 50 on the nightstand. Of course it is an over-simplification, but I don't see it to be rationally anything else.

I agree completely. In fact, marriage itself could be seen as the ultimate form of prostitution: You exchange a lifetime of sexual favors for two months of the man's salary (the diamond ring).

[Loren Pechtel]

Originally posted by Calzaer
I agree completely. In fact, marriage itself could be seen as the ultimate form of prostitution: You exchange a lifetime of sexual favors for two months of the man's salary (the diamond ring).

No--because she wants it also.

A trophy wife, though, is basically prostitution.

[Dr Rick]

Originally posted by Calzaer
In fact, marriage itself could be seen as the ultimate form of prostitution: You exchange a lifetime of sexual favors for two months of the man's salary (the diamond ring).

I'm just a hopelessly naive romantic, but isn't marriage (at least in the Western world where it isn't arranged or forced) supposed to be about love?

From a purely financial standpoint, a wife can cost much more than just two-months salary, as many divorced men can attest, and she can be worth much more, as well. Married men on average have higher earnings than bachelors probably because they don't have to devote as much time to activities of daily living such as shopping and cleaning. Also, women have been known to bring money into a household.

Overall, if sexual access is the primary goal, it probably makes more financial sense to utilize prostitutes instead of getting a wife

Finally, though admittedly ot, why spend two-months wages on a ring? That formula was entirely contrived and advertised by the DeBeers mining company after extensive marketing studies revealed that a significant portion of the target audience would swallow it.

[xorbie]

This whole sex-is-prostitution thing seems to be built on the idea that the woman doesn't enjoy sex...

This seems wrong to me. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but a date is something you do because it's fun. Ditto sex. And I mean fun for both.

[Loren Pechtel]

Originally posted by xorbie
This whole sex-is-prostitution thing seems to be built on the idea that the woman doesn't enjoy sex...

This seems wrong to me. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but a date is something you do because it's fun. Ditto sex. And I mean fun for both.

A relationship between equals is not prostitution. However, when he's a rich old fart and she's a pretty young thing without money it looks an awful lot like prostitution to me. Is she there because she loves him or because she loves his money?