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View Full Version : Going back to church and becoming a...


Corgan Sow
September 1, 2003, 10:59 PM
Sorry. I feel like creating an absurdiculous topic title for the hell of it :p

No, I'm not converting back into... you know what I mean...


O.k, I did went back to church...for re-union thingy. It was on the 31st...Sunday. I came back from my friend's condo borrowing some great classical CDs, but I don't have anyone to hang out with. Besides, two of their members are getting married and I've been invited to their wedding this coming Saturday and...I should check out my old friends.

I've told my old church buddies I was officially agnostic (now a pantheist) and I asked them not to tell the church administration and pastor about my 'infidelity'. So far, the trick worked, the youth pastor I was very close with didn't brought the "Go back to jesus" crap, but my friends of course, being "sporting" for the "Lord" :rolleyes: did do the usual. I lied to the pastor that I found out a new church when he asked me why I didn't come out for a long time and my friends didn't do anything about it.

Still, they were still cool after a couple of minutes of yadayada-ing to me and we went off for lunch. Me and my former best friend talked on the old times, asked how our high-school pals were doing [/i]etc[/i]. Anyway after a good lunch, a deaf person came inside the restaurant carrying a handful of cutesy toys soliciting customers to buy his products. He's one of the few deaf people who sells toys for their charitable organizations.

Now I know it's annoying to interrupt people having their meals and solicit them to buy toys. He saw that we had several big plates of "leftovers" on the table, then he "lectured" us when we gestured that we had no money to buy his toys. He looked pissed, and from his gestures I definitely knew that he was pissed we're all bunch of selfish-spoiled-rich-brats:boohoo: What came unimaginable was when he left. One of my friends did a "loony" sign and another friend ranted about how annoying the "ol' geezer" was. That completely ticked me off. I didn't show my emotions but I knew after that, the wedding will be my last outing with my church members...ever. So much for "an eye for an eye" and the dang part of the Bible where you give away your coat when asked for your shirt :rolleyes:

Well, I've got a confession to make to anyone who has been reading the topic at Non-Abrahamic religions. I am a Soka Gakkai member when I deconverted to Christianity and now I am still. It's just because its the last place I belong myself to. How mistaken I was when I de-converted, I could get a much better support at Soka-Gakkai. The reason why I stayed because Soka Gakkai is much more neutral and less fundy-fied than my old church (although it is still a cult) and I love the orchestra I participated in. I ranted about Celine and Alma in my past topics, the people I relied as my adopted sisters. Sadly, I no longer had contact with them because despite all my rants, they didn't showed enough signs that they cared for me.

I realised one year after I de-converted I wasted my emotions on these two individuals and I felt like I was cheated. Maybe I was ranting too much, they didn't complain that I whined too much. But what can i do? These few months, my life was stable just because I talked to celine a couple of times.

That is the problem of Asian culture. People are too busy getting immersed themselves with work. I couldn't get Celine out with me despite persistent requests (twice every month since January) despite the fact I prepared a fuckload of cash to give her a treat. I mean, do you fucking get this in America? You refuse a treat several times?:confused: I thought...hey if my church friends found out about this they'll be saying "See, it's better if you go back to Christ". I had a great social life back at church, the Easter, the Christmas dinners, the barbaques, free food, chicks, chicks and more chicks. If my old church are fundy-fied Jebus lovers, Soka Gakkai are mindless cult drones who're occupied with hundreds of religious meetings a month. Whenever I ask a Soka Gakkai member whether he/she is free for a movie, they will always reply "Nah, I've got this Women's discussion meeting to plan, etc" I can no longer find intimacy in both sides. Despite the fact, I have to stay at Soka Gakkai.

I mean, it's like an atheist staying on at church. There is no Unitarian churches here. I only have an infidel friend, and I wished he was a chick =P Yeah, baby my sexual tensions are worst than ever and I have yet to find a girlfriend.

The last point I'm trying to make is; I find myself slipping back into insecurity because no one is there for me to trust. I met a lot of new people when I started my new semester in collage three weeks ago, but now I am afraid to socialise. My experiences with Celine devastated me so bad, I am afraid to talk to girls on the phone. I mean, how do I find people to rant with from my new bunch of friends in short periods of time?

Marruk
September 2, 2003, 05:51 AM
It sounds like you are still thinking too much about your last girl. The best advice I could give you is force yourself to get out into the world. Maybe you are not quite ready yet to go to clubs and dateing and such, so imerse yourself in your studies, and try joining clubs and activities that interest you. After doing lots of new things, you'll start to forget about your old girl. At this point date as many women as you can, this will also have you forgetting your old girl, (and sometimes the names of the new girls you are dating). Eventually the old girl will be completely forgotten and you can start building a trusting relationship with one of the many new girls your dating.

I know this can sound very hard and frightening, but trust me it does work. A break up can be very difficult for the person being dumped to get over. And you might be thinking that you cant find lots of girls to date you (many men think this unfortunately). This is just silly thinking, if you start doing lots of different activities (especially around school) you will meet lots of available girls that already have one thing in common with you. They all wont say yes most likely, but also most likely some of them will.

Good luck to you, and you will get over this eventually, just hang in there.:)

Corgan Sow
September 2, 2003, 06:27 AM
Jesus christ, maybe I should stop ranting about chicks in a while...:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:


The problem is, girl or man, I'm frightened NOT about going into a typical angsty relationship, the problem is when you need somebody to fucking rant.

I didn't have a crush on Celine. I was holding on to her for help.

In the past when I had my first girl, I DIDN'T rant into her, I rant into my youth pastor, then my former best friend. Then, it seems I am conforted when they offered to pray for me.

It is useless to continue. I can still cope with work and studies, but we'll see how shit comes along. This place is not the West I envy where it is easier to get laid, get shot in the head, no need to be equiped in multiple dialects and so on. That's the whole meaning of my rant. In short I've began to despise people here. I'm sick of all the hype about humble, friendly people here. It's bullshit. I can only wish I'll fly my ass from this wretched land.

Richard1366
September 3, 2003, 08:23 AM
Why don't you simply trust in yourself. In reality, you have been doing that all along but for some reason it seems as if you are not willing to accept that premise.

We all think that there are certain things we can't do without. I'm old enough to know that that is not the case. You believe that you can't do with out your parents, then they die, guess what, life goes on.

William Henley, in his poem Invictus said it all.. "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."