Family and Religion II

[dayton]

Well, I just flew "home" yesterday to spend "Christmas" with my family, who are all devout fundamentalist Christians.

The day was not as bad, but my parents, sister, and other relatives used the holiday as a platform to push their religion. Participation in the prayers was of course mandatory, and of course they asked me to lead the prayer (I declined).

My parents still will not accept the fact that I am no longer a christian, they "know" that I will be a churchgoing bible-thumper again "in my own time" and that I didn't "really deconvert". The issue was not even discussable.

Don't get me wrong, my parents are great people, but their close-mindedness when it comes to religion can be so frustrating.

:banghead:


Dayton

[southernhybrid]

Don't get me wrong, my parents are great people, but their close-mindedness when it comes to religion can be so frustrating.

I sure do understand how you feel. It's been over thirty years since my own deconverson and to this day my parents continue to be lost in a sea of irrational thoughts and concepts. I will never understand how they continue to accept such nonsense but I realize it gives them comfort and a sense of security. Given the fact that they are now in the late 70s, I also accept that they will never change.

Although most of the time my mom refrains from bringing up the subject of religion, she will still send me something at Xmas in an attempt to bring me back to god. This year she sent me this ridiculous card that had the words to Silent Night on the back, the nativity story on the front and some other story tucked between the pages that was so stupid and simplistic in its approach that I could barely read it.

I was going to call and ask her to stop sending me such things but realized that would probably just make her think that god was speaking to me through this silly card, causing me great unrest. That would give her false hope that I might return to Xianity or it would simply upset a little old lady who had good intentions in trying to bring her atheist daughter back to the fold of superstitious people that never question silly myths and traditions.

I do understand your frustrations about your parents, but at least you and I are free from their delusions and for that we should be rejoice. :)

[dimpledop]

Would it really upset the apple cart if you agreed to wait politely while they prayed? Maybe you could mention this before visiting, so that it's not a shock the day of the actual visit?

It can't be pleasant to be spoken to like you're just a little lost sheep. I hope that you can figure out a way to deal with this without compromising your relationships, or else it could become a regularly scheduled bout of annual frustration.

[Kevin]

One of my aunts sent my family a card, with snowy scene with pines, a church (white with a baby blue roof) and a snowman with a heart icon on it. Apparently the snowman suffers from dextrocardia. At the bottom of the image, it says "WISHING YOU A SEASON OF BELIEVING..." and as one opens the card one reads "May Jesus Be THE ONE Your Heart CELEBRATES This Christmas". At the bottom, " '...He who believes has everlasting life.' JOHN 6:47 NIV" and on the back " 'For unto you is born this day in the city of David a SAVIOUR, which is CHRIST THE LORD.' LUKE 2:11 KJV"

I thought it was pretty tacky to use a Christmas card as a tool for evangelizing their fundamentalist faith.

[Roland98]

Sorry to hear that, Dayton. :( Did you get a chance to say anything else to your sister about your deconversion?

[getalong]

My m-i-l insisted it was 'just a phase' until she passed away. It made her happy to think it was just a phase and she quickly realized that pushing him would make the phase worse so she usually let the subject die out. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving the people who love you some mental fantasy escape if it reduces their worries about you and relieves you of some stress.

getalong

[Vorkosigan]

I agree. You can't change their minds, and any mention of atheism simply causes them to accuse you of militancy.