"Maybe you should talk to someone..."

[BLoggins02]

(Sorry for being an intermittent poster on the boards, sometimes I just have to get away, hehe)

Anyway, there seems to be this common theme with my fundy in-laws that everytime we have a discussion about religion (which I am trying more often NOT to do) one of them asks me if I have "talked with anyone about this." By "this," of course, they mean my complete and utter disbelief in God, Jesus, etc. and by "anyone," of course, they mean a preacher or a pastor (preferably one that goes to their church).

Sorry to vent but....

I DON'T F*CKING NEED TO "TALK TO ANYONE" ABOUT "THIS!!"

It's like they think I'm mentally ill and need to go to a spiritual therapist to sort it all out.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :mad: :banghead:

Anyone else experience this "suggestion" from someone they know?

[jafosei]

Anyone else experience this "suggestion" from someone they know?

I haven't, but I think my response might be: "I did. That's what led me to atheism."

Of course, that might not help with your situation.

[Face]

I'm laughing right now - not at you, though! When I was a hellraiser of a kid, I happily accepted all sorts of invitations to have my atheism 'sorted out' by professional religious-type-folks. I've mellowed out dramatically since then, but I would demolish religious folk in open discussion like Socrates on an Athenian democratic supporter.

Most people aren't as confrontational, now or later, as I was, though. If it were a loon on the street, you could just ignore them - which is best - but since they're family, the best thing to do is stand your ground (politely but firmly) and try to settle an accord. The best way to start off is with, "I don't believe what you do, nor will I in the foreseeable future. This constant prodding and querying is irritating and disrespectful, and it is neither going to change my mind nor make our relationship work, so we should just agree to not bring it up and leave it at that."

[ratherGroggy]

I've had my friend's parents tell me to talk to a church official, or as you put it: "someone."

Though, I do have to say, the best response I have recieved yet is from my grandma: "No you're not. You're not Atheist."

[Swishy McJackass]

My wife has said that I should go talk to the priest that married us. What good would that do?

[Godless Wonder]

Originally posted by Swishy McJackass
My wife has said that I should go talk to the priest that married us. What good would that do? Maybe you'd deconvert him? :D

[Swishy McJackass]

*thumbs through EAC Handbook for section on deconverting Catholic priests*

[dimpledop]

No one has phrased it to me quite that way, but then religion just doesn't come up that much in my conversations. At least not yet.

If it did, this is what I would say: I am content with my atheism, I don't feel like changing, and I expect my decision to be respected, though I understand my stance will not be liked.

If they claimed that I am inflexible, I'd tell them to consider becoming atheists, and when they refuse, I'd say that I'm entitled to be as inflexible as they are.

No need to apologize for venting. Venting is good for the...soul. ;) Good luck maintaining your sanity.

[Strelnieks]

I say, "get it over with". Invite them over to your place at an agreed time with any religious leaders they would care to bring. Serve coffee and donuts and take the whole afternoon.

It should not just be you and a pastor, however. The people in question should be present to witness how the clergyman's arguments are no deeper, no more sophisticated and no more effective than their own. And, if it is the case, as it is with many atheists, it would be a chance to further demonstrate that you know more about the Bible than they do.

It is generally not really necessary and it is a matter of taste, but you could also prepare for the encounter by studying up on some of the permutations of the arguments likely to come up. If you know something about their approach in advance, it might help: are they going to argue logic and be "intellectual"? Are they going to be emotional-evangelical? Biblical-scholarly? Are they going to focus on morals and ethics?

Maybe you could ask them to recommend some reading - perhaps not a whole book, but some essay or pamphlet. Read it and note every mistake and fallacy and have that ready when they come. Perhaps they would extend the same courtesy and read something you recommend as well.

Strel

[Gothic_J]

Originally posted by BLoggins02
(Sorry for being an intermittent poster on the boards, sometimes I just have to get away, hehe)

Anyway, there seems to be this common theme with my fundy in-laws that everytime we have a discussion about religion (which I am trying more often NOT to do) one of them asks me if I have "talked with anyone about this." By "this," of course, they mean my complete and utter disbelief in God, Jesus, etc. and by "anyone," of course, they mean a preacher or a pastor (preferably one that goes to their church).

Sorry to vent but....

I DON'T F*CKING NEED TO "TALK TO ANYONE" ABOUT "THIS!!"

It's like they think I'm mentally ill and need to go to a spiritual therapist to sort it all out.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :mad: :banghead:

Anyone else experience this "suggestion" from someone they know?

Ive gotten so cutthroat in these 'talks' with my lil sis that she wont even bring up the topic anymore.

[Calantorntain]

Anyone else experience this "suggestion" from someone they know?

Oh yes.

Bit of background- Both of my parents are from the south. My mother has an extremely small family, basically her mom, dad, and brother. The brother died about 11 years ago, the mother died about 3 years ago, and so now only her father is around. Neither her mother nor her father were religious. They were atheists, because they really didn't give a damn about it.

My dad, on the other hand, is from a rather religious family. His father was a preacher. Dad's parents got divorced, and his mom re-married to, you guessed it, another preacher.

Anyway, so over Christmas break we went to Idaho (famous potatos!) to go skiing with one of my dad's two brothers, my aunt, and two cousins. All fairly religious (and Very Dim Witted. Except for Aunt Chris. And Uncle John. And 3 year old neice).

A conversation some how comes up at dinner. I casually mention that I am an atheist. I was very happy to see they 'kept their cool' but it was recomended that I talk to somebody about it, perhaps one of the Grandpas. Let me tell you about them.

Dad's Dad #1- Stupid. A complete and uter fool. He falls scams very easily, then brags about the good thing he did. Slob as well. And he is lazy. And an idiot. And a freeloffer, or whatever the word is. Quite a turn-off for Christianity.

Dad's Dad #2- Also not too smart. Obsessed with sports. Watches them ALL THE TIME. Tennis, football, golf, everything. Grumpy. Drinks all the time. Sexist. Racist. Anti-Semitic (and I know I spelt that wrong...). Also a turn-off for Christianity.

Hum. My responce to the OP turned into a rant about Dad's family. Alas.

My advise- Smile pleasantly, and laugh when they tell you that you will eventually come around. Worked for me ^.^

[Cynical-Chick]

Missouri and Idaho, huh? So, you basically hail from the two most blah states in the Union?:p



As to the OP, good luck. I'm dealing with this myself; you guys, and my own research, has taught me a lot about the Bible. I'm debating them, and winning (somewhat). I'm still struggling, though.

[EGGO]

Originally posted by Swishy McJackass
*thumbs through EAC Handbook for section on deconverting Catholic priests*

Ah here we are, page 1: "Plug orifices of alterboys"



For the OP, long long time ago, whenever I asked my friend a question that he couldn't answer, he'd always say, "Talk to this preacher I know, he'll answer your problems." *sigh*

[BLoggins02]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughtful replies. You've really made me happy that I'm not alone in this :D

[mamabear]

all the time...they don't even insist it be the pastor, they feel they can show me the error of my ways by working through the good book with me. (after all I am a mere women to their maleness)..my brother in law even put it like this...First let me explain that I was adopted at 9 so I spent a good deal of my youth in foster care which is important only because my husband and I are considering becoming foster parents (wonder if they take atheist--hum probably won't mention that) upon sharing this fact with his family his brother replies....considering myself an adopted child I can understand your desire to help those less fortunate than yourself (blah blah blah) A good parent teaches their child through the example of their own life (blah blah blah) and if you are interested in learning more I would be more than happy to talk with you about this....note that he is not adopted but in his warped and twisted fundie ways 1- he takes away from all that I have overcome by eroneously claiming to share that same "hardship" 2- he criticizes my parenting and any future abilities in that arena as inadequate at best and 3- offers me the solution if I am willing to undergo the lobotomy that would be necessary for me to even pretend he is somehow more cabable than little ole me in any arena he cared to meet me in. :D

[walt6]

The next time they suggest that you talk to someone, tell them you already did that and that's how you became an atheist.

[ThankGodImAnAtheist]

I DON'T F*CKING NEED TO "TALK TO ANYONE" ABOUT "THIS!!"

I know how you feel, I haven't had this directly from family members but when my wife used to go to one of these Charismatic outfits I was always getting people round 'wanting to have a little talk', they would throw in remarks like 'Peter, I just KNOW its true', one even used based an argument - that because there was such a great thing as 'sex' it must have been created by God and could not have evolved.

They knew I had come from a scientific background and tried to lend me books about 'eminent' scientists who believed in Creation etc. I used to put up with it and try to be polite but really wanted to say just F**k off - I know I am right and don't need to talk about it. Some of these could have been quite nice people if thay hadn't got religious mania and one track minds.

My wife has now converted to Roman Catholicism and I don't get the same problem from them - so far.